Sibling Relationships

[Sqweak]

I actually don't have many relationships in my family and I prefer it that way. I have an older sister but she's 10-20 years older then I so she has always acted like a second mother (which I hate) and when she's wasn't playing mommy #2 the over all content of our conversations consisted of: hello, how are you, it's nice out. On the flip side She did have 8 kids and they are more like brothers and sisters to me then she is. When I was a child I was definitely out casted, so I can relate to you Brat, because I was frequently labeled brat, spoiled, crybaby etc. which made me vengeful. So I started lashing out at everyone until I was about 18- moved to a whole other state and became a far nicer person, sense I’ve perfected the art of internalizing everything. Every once and a while they like to remind me that I was a royal B**ch to them growing up, I normally say that I’m sorry or laugh it off and agree; but when you're young and you have to share your parent with 8 other people it's tough because you're often forgotten about. I don't make them apologize for encroaching on my life, but hey what are you going to do right?:notworthy:

 

[blogitout]

Hi
I thought this would be a good place to add a point of how I can relate..
My sisters like to text...Funny today was a great day to ignore the phone and just be with our kids and clean play outside ext.
Both my sisters texted and each had to ask us of something...and yup I did not answer them back just like I did not yesterday.
I said to my husband if we look over the text messages from them I am sure they would just be asking something of us.We hardly do ask them for anything maybe at Christmas time to watch the kids while we shop..LOL but God forbid if we want to go out... and the only time they offer is because they really must want something in return.
We constantly take care of their two kids no prob. I hope they get the point by us not talking to them..My walls are now up and they are not coming down.
I have started Emdr and really need to focus.
Do they care nope..
I should just stop there I could seriously keep going...
I guess all we can do is just be..
Just be US
and not let them take US away any longer..
Stand strong and move on..

 

[mamachick]

Blogitout, I know what you mean and can really relate
Just heard the all time low...
Since I wont answer my sister calls, there is a new rumor in our family...my niece told me and hour ago
She started by saying there are ugly rumors and I told her Im not taking sister calls and not to tell me this stuff because it hinders my progress, she said you need to know. Her aunt is saying that her father is my daughters father

Last week, they were saying my 21 yr old daughter is pregnant although there is not contact, now they are saying this same daughter (who is daddys girl and very close to her father) has a different father.
I told her father this a few minutes ago and he asked which Witch Lodge my sisters are a members of.

Blogitout-once my sister babysat when my daughters were 1 and 2-all she did was gossip that one of them picked a booger. I babysat hundreds of times and love all the kids-booger and all. lol

 

[WhiteSheep]

Hello,

I'm new to this site and was looking for any kind of support or suggestions.
I believe I have PTSD regarding my siblings. It's been over 11 years since they "disowned" me and I rarely see them at all.

Without going into all the details of my family. Suffice it to say - we were raised in an abusive alcoholic home. In our adult years, there were siblings that continued the abuse in different forms. I broke away from the "pack" and have since created a different life for myself.

My concern or dilemma is when I have had to be in close physical proximity to my siblings, my body reacts as though I was a child again. My legs fall weak, my hands begin to shake, and I'm on the verge of tears. I've sought counciling (spiritual and clinical) and still my body takes over.

Has anyone had this experience and what have you done to work through it?

Thank you.

 

[mamachick]

Welcome WhiteSheep-glad you found the forum. It sounds like your family of origin were the brewing ground for ptsd. I would seek out a professional to help get a proper diagnosis. If that is the case, there is help here. If you feel like you relate to the symptoms, there is also help and support that I think you will find here.

I understand leaving the pack and choosing a different life. That is a very hard thing to do. Its like going against nature but I have also made that choice and for the best.

What does your clinical therapist say about the symptoms that you experience when in close proximity to siblings?

My experience is not so severe. I find myself drained by their negative energy and embelished stories of everyday life. I kind of just stuff my thoughts and feelings or maybe check out or disconnect. Therefore, I dont have contact. Nothing good ever comes from it.

What puts you in close proximity? Do you have symptoms of ptsd when you are not in close proximity? For me, I dont even need to be near them or speak with them for my body to react to the past. I can hear their criticisms come through as much as my raging alcoholic mother.Often, their nasty words have been more like I think I am better than them for getting an education, for raising children in a new and uncustomary way, for working hard. It is hurtful knowing that siblings can be so mean as grown ups. It reminds me of how mean they were as children.

 

[missmary]

I am the middle child of 3 girls, and we definitely abused eachother growing up! I decided to stop that cycle when I went into high school and chose to become friends with my little sister. We've been besties ever since!

However, our old sister is a nutcase, who means well we think, but she can be violent over the weirdest things, usually jealousy. She always intends well, and defends her bahavior to the fullest so it is impossible to get through to her.

Anyway, my little sister's T told her during a session to look at our older sister like a monkey. They seem so cute and sweet and adorable at first, so human like and all that- until they start flinging their shit at you!

That makes us laugh and we find it easier to deal with her now. HA!