Sick- Defending Myself Brings Up Trauma

[Marie10]

I am moderately-severe Anemic and am slowly getting better to where I sleep just 8 hours instead of 12-14. I was glad to find out what was wrong and to begin taking better care of myself to make sure I am healthier.

However, I have a "friend" that are not supportive and it's really bothering me and I don't seem to understand why except maybe the past traumas. This "friend" does not seem to understand how debilitating this can be (exhausted, nauseous, depression) temporarily until my Iron levels are back to a normal range.

This hurts and I've found myself trying to explain, overcompensate, beating myself up and not standing up for myself. It brings back some of my older traumas like no one (or just a few people who I trusted) believing me when my spleen ruptured (only to be sent away in an Ambulance), broke my finger and especially one of the rapes.

Has anyone experienced this- being sick or any other circumstance where a "friend" doesn't believe you and then you revisit past traumas?

 

[Muzikluvr]

I revisit the traumas when I feel like having to explain myself. I will be on my way, trying to think of the best way to explain and what they might say or think about my explanation... and the next thing I know, I'm arguing with my dad the way he responded to me when I told him his favorite uncle sexually assaulted me. I get sidetracked to the point of crying and shaking, and then I end up at my destination barely being able to explain some trivial, social faux pas that I made due to whatever was going on at the time.

Sometimes, it works for me because it was so trivial that it didn't need to be explained... and other times it works against me because it appears that I don't care enough.

 

[Abstract]

Hi marie,

I am sorry you experienced this. Its hard enough trying to get better with understanding and support.

I do find that at times invalidation seems be a big trigger for me and like you links directly back to the past. I am never unaffected by it when it is in response to discussing my internal world, the past or my wellbeing but sometimes it really knocks me for a loop. And then of course I hate myself for responding that way! :rolleyes:

Take care.

 

[99Phoenix99]

Has anyone experienced this- being sick or any other circumstance where a "friend" doesn't believe you and then you revisit past traumas?

Quite a bit of my trauma has to do with not being believed about my health issues.

I have nerve damage in my inner ear due to a viral infection. When it first happened I was in highschool. I could barely walk at times due to vertigo and I was in physical agony all the time because of the damage. And the principal of my school didn't believe me. He threatened to kick me out because of all of my absences (it was a private school and there's no such thing as repeating a year.) The pressure I was under only made my illness worse. When I wasn't in the hospital being tested with expiremental medications and procedures I spent what little free time I had pouring over my schoolwork. If I performed well and kept good grades they couldn't kick me out. The virus also ransacked my immune system so I kept getting sick on top of everything else. It was a horrible time.

I was always watching my back because the threat of being kicked out was there. Because he and the rest of the administration adamently refused to believe in my health problems despite teachers and medical professionals lobbying for me. A lot of my classmates thought I was lying too.

And not two years ago I reinjured an old sports injury. I retore the lateral miniscus in my knee. I was rushed to the ER and I explained to the nurse what I did and how I knew I just blew out my knee again. She flat out told me I was lying and I was wasting her time because I was a cry baby. I lost it at that point. I had so many flashbacks of the days where barely anyone believed me I couldn't even get mad because I was so lost in the past.