Sigh

[Bordo66]

When are you going to be back home? I'm sorry you're having such a rough time and being in a different country can be really hard on you. Hang in there, though, and remember we're here rooting for you!

Im going home around 1st october, yeah well you guys are the only thing I have.

 

[Bordo66]

NO, don't do it! I just looked at your profile page and my heart sank when I saw you are only 19. You truely have a whole lifetime ahead of you!

Please tell someone. If there is no one then get yourself to the hospital any way you can and tell a doctor, a nurse, anyone! I have felt like that before and put myself in the hospital for a week about 3 years ago and came out a different person. I never think of suicide anymore. I realized that is really the end. No more. Gone.

YOUR ONLY 19. I don't know if you are married. If not then you probably haven't met your future wife yet, you haven't met your children yet. If you die now, you never will. Give yourself a chance to live.

Thanks for the support but everytime some1 says: your only X age. I'm sorry but I get a bit of anger because for me days are going slow for years now and I dont know better, I can keep hanging in here but the road of depression goes on and on and on.

A lot of people here a bit older then I am, you seen more. Have more experience so you can deal with it a little better than I can. Unfortunately PTSD doesnt give a s*** about age

 

[Ron]

Hi bud, your mental health should be THE number one priority now!! Not tomorrow or next week. It's time you "grab the bull by the horns" and get professional mental help immediately! Everything else doesn't matter at all! I am rooting for you Bordo!

 

[Ruth]

Dear Bordo66, I don't know much about suicidal thoughts but I do know about not being able to sleep. I have Sleep Terror Disorder (STD) and besides having a funny acronym, is a very serious condition. I self medicated for years before getting into a experimental treatment program for STD and PTSD. Today I use Ativan and Klonopin under the supervision of my treatment center. Before I got professional help I used Benadryl, Valerian root, Blue Skullcap and Kava root (all over the counter) this worked for a while. I always told my primary Dr what I was doing and checked my liver and kidney functions often as all these remedies can have negative effects after awhile. I have no idea what effects these could have on someone that is depressed, but I'm guessing it is better than alcohol. I would not recommend self medicating over a professional's care. However, I thought this information was worth passing on. Good luck.

 

[Ron]

Hi Bordo I know what it's like to feel sh*^$ty day in and day out ! I felt so alone when I had intrusive thoughts. They were driving me crazy ! I tried and I tried and I tried to cure myself to no avail. Finally, I saw a pychiatrist and he valladated me in such a way and explained I had PTSD of a "symbolic nature." I then began the healing road. That was awhile ago and now I am on the home stretch working on my shame and self-esteem! I never gave up and neither should you! I am in your corner !

 

[Ron]

God's speed my friend, I will pray for you !

 

[Bordo66]

Thanks again,

I need to hold on for 4 months and 1 week before I go home again with help.

 

[Bordo66]

Hey ruth, seems you alsO have bad experoence with sleeping, sucks.

Having suicidal thoughts suck, I am not in the mood to dk anything. All I want is a quick end to the endless pain. But even with this in mind I have to bloody move on.

 

[Bordo66]

Ough getting more and more depressed every day!:(

 

[Reclusive]

Hang in there, Bordo! Are you sure you can't maybe get your psych from home to send a prescription for you or something?

 

[Crl1983]

Please hang in there. I care, and so do a lot of people here. Please, If it gets that bad, please go to a hospital. Are you on any meds? Maybe a doctor can prescribe something that would help. I know you say alcohol helps sometimes but in reality it is a depressant, so it's probably not the best thing. You can get through this.

 

[Ron]

Hang in there bud, I'm in your corner !