Sigh

[Ron]

Ough getting more and more depressed every day!:(

You need to take action ! Your mind is telling you something !

 

[goingonhope]

Hey Bordo, I'm wishing you well! ........And, Here's a list of some action:

Lots of physical activity.

Psychiatric help, ..asap.

Minimize negative stressors, maximize good stressors.

Find someone trustworthy that you can talk about your sadness and feelings of any dejection to.

Keep trying your best to outsmart your struggles with falling sleep, and/or insomnia; You'll always need sleep to recover from this.

Remember, remember, remember your healthiest favorite activities, ...repeat and repeat again.

When you don't feel like doing anything, remember that even small baby steps will get you where you need to go.

Fear the fear and lack of motivation, and attempt it anyways with small-steps, one right after the other.

Ignore desires to withdraw from people and reach out to people anyways.

Feelings are not facts, progress is, identify the feelings but give it no power, find and follow good direction all in spite of how you're feeling; Baby-steps, meaning you can start something more right away without postponement.

Identify all progress, while always remembering that every night you fall asleep and awake the next morning
this in itself is most excellent progress (I know this progress from personal experience), ...and progress from which more progress may gradually be built. Congratulate yourself, even if your thoughts attempt to deceive you.

Take any increased steps in you making progress and gaining recovery, and reclaiming yourself from the grips of your depression.

Be patient with yourself and ask for patience and support from others.

Keep busy.

Design and/or follow your normal routine while there, while adjusting it (if need be thereafter); Decide on the willingness to continually engage all good stressors: improved eating, daily grooming: a regular bedtime in which you attempt sleep, (even if bedtime is regularly 1am, the point is to keep laying down for sleep at a regular hr.)

Use an ipod at bedtime if you have one, even if pulling together the willingness to listen to something calming that you may prefer not to. (Personally books work well for me, as I select the boring ones that will put me to sleep).

Accept suicidal thoughts as present and normal for many with Ptsd, don't allow them to scare you or convince you of lies about yourself; Just accept them for now and take small-step actions. If it's night-time consider actions that may tire you to help you fall asleep.

Discover things that you can start, or you can continue doing for others.

Keep on reaching out, responding and communicating.

Sincerely,
goingonhope

 

[OKRADLAK]

Bordo, please don't give up. I don't know why. I am in same boat......it's just like F it. I decided t o just be the black blotch on the earth I was meant to be. I try to do better, but it's funny....it is all over so soon any way. We like you here!!! 2,000 years from now, we are all stone dead. Stick around a bit:)

 

[Bordo66]

Hey thanks for all the replies, means a lot to me. I had a good talk with my mentor yesterday and he is gonna look for some help on my behalve on the island. Im not gonna give but I feel like im slipping, breaking and losing the war within.

Help is on the way, fortunately. But still gotta hold on to myself:(

 

[Ron]

I believe in you Bordo !

 

[Bordo66]

Yeah gonna get help :)!

 

[Ron]

Yeah gonna get help :)!

Keep us posted on your recovery my friend !

 

[Bordo66]

Keep us posted on your recovery my friend !

Of course mate :)!

 

[Bordo66]

I have a general question:

I had a talk with a psychologist from a charity on Guernsey. And I told her whats keeping me alive, that my conscription. I told myself: if everything fails here and if I really cant take it anymore I will do that(cant let it go so far). But then I was wondering 1 more thing.

The army life isnt easy either but thats something I REALLY REALLY want to do some day. But I think(hope actually) that when I do my conscription I get send to Hakkari(the most dangerous province in turkey(south-east turkey next to iraq) why? At least then I will have a important job to do. I also want to do it when I finished my school and hopefully will be mentally stronger.

What do you all think?

 

[goingonhope]

What do you all think?

I think......your mentor is looking and gonna help you find help there. And, meanwhile you're gonna keep us posted. Right? Maybe? No? Yes? ....We're pulling for you Bordo, and as I said earlier, ...I'm wishing you well! So if you're going to, ...and would really like to try the army life at one point in your life, personally I'll be wishing for some safety for you.

And, if that means you are to end up outside of ....(someplace safer).... the most dangerous province in turkey, well then sorry Bordo, but that's where I'll be wishing you end up - outside of south-east turkey! There ...;)...now you know what I think. You can't change my mind. :) You're entitled to your wishes, :) I am entitled to mine. :whistling:.

We'd all like to see you get well, ..........Not, get help to improve the likelihood of you later getting dead and it sounds like that province is, ....well let me repeat what you apparently already know....Most dangerous!

Hold on there Bordo and please don't wander to far ahead of yourself, it's in your present that you can follow through taking small steps and actions to a greatly improved well-being. And, one that you may very well end up desiring to live.

If you're feeling anything like I did when I was 19, you're exhausted from the pain and depressions, and may feel ravaged by it; .......Small informed steps forward Bordo will likely get you will you need to go. I'm wishing you well and all my best that you soon receive the help that you need.

You can greatly improve!

Please, Keep us posted.

Sincerely,
goingonhope

 

[Ron]

I just dropped in to say "hi" and "how are you?"

 

[Srain]

Hey, I thoroughly understand living with suicidal ideation daily and sleeplessness, I've had it most of my life. I feel for you. It's a place that is difficult to explain just how horrible and draining it can be, from the age of 9 years old I've had it and I'm well past that now. There is just no "cheer up life gets better", you more or less learn to live with the thoughts and find a way add other thoughts in with them. Sleep comes in with help and acceptance of that help.

I understand your wanting an important job, making yourself and life relevant? I personally think you have a very important job of saving yourself first and foremost. You matter more than you could ever imagine. Your story matters to me, to those before me, to those who will come after you. you matter, your life matters! What's happened, what is happening to you can only be taken care of by you, told by you. I think THAT is the most important job you could have and do above all else.

This is simply just my opinion and what I think but I truly feel it and believe it with all my heart.
Hugs,
Rain