I'm not posting this morning cuz I don't want my member diary on the home page.
That is your prerogative. Only members can see it, the same as them looking in the trauma members forum themselves for the latest diary that has come to the top due to being posted upon.
Nothing has changed with privacy, so members need to check their paranoia and not assimilate it to a change, as nothing has changed. That feed is the same feed all members see now in the new posts.
I would like to be able to restrict who can and can't see it the same way I can with my media content.
Those options will never be available to members, as it would cause chaos.
I would also like to be able to restrict my diary for example to those on my ignore list.
Again, won't happen. Permissions to view and post per thread would break the server, as each one would require another call to the database, per thread / post with modified permissions.
Won't EVER happen from a technical standpoint.
If you want a private diary, become a premium member and you have a complete private diary.
The only way this will ever come about is IF Xenforo ever release a user blog add-on. That type of add-on runs permissions differently and IF they ever release one, then I will be closing the current diary methods and all members have their diaries as a user blog under their account, where they control their entire blog content. Permissions are then assigned by the user to which group can see content, yet may allow specific content to only be seen by specific members. The latter is unlikely... though could happen with a blog, as that isn't the primary content stream for this site.
I have tried a lot of chat options over the years, and the current one is the one that has worked the best to date. Simple, effective, and used a lot. All the rest got used here and there, people would pop in, pop out, rarely catching one another / not wanting to chat with the person's in the room and thus leaving again. Then people complained because there was never any live chat happening.
Now... people complain because there is always live chat happening and it makes them feel scared to enter it.
One thing I have learnt over the near decade running this site... is that there is no pleasing everyone.
The new post box remains on the homepage system, and I have no plans changing it. People have to get used to the fact that this same information is available already in the new post search, which that box replicates, and member only content can only be seen by members, not the public.
There is nothing more than bringing existing features used here to the forefront to help members quickly engage one another in active discussions that occur, so people are connecting more.
The new thread box will show new member only threads to members only. It is permissions based. If you're a guest, you see public only content. If a member, you see member only content. If premium member, you see premium member content appear. If staff, you see staff content appear.
If you already have the permission to see it, you will continue to. If not, you won't. There is no breech of privacy and members need to accept the facts and reality, not the paranoia occurring within you.