Skype Therapy Sessions

[moonbeam]

So I'm going home next week for 2 weeks. And I'll see apparently 3 of my abusers, not the worst one though. Two of my brothers who were only sexually abusive when we lived with my dad and fine after we were taken away from him. And my step-dad who was just verbally abusive (to all of us). Its complicated. And none of them know about my diagnosis or any of the issues I've had with it. Which has been semi helpful in the fact that I stopped SH so they wouldn't see the scars.

Anyway the real question is that my T has suggested she would like to have Skype sessions with me for the 2 sessions I will miss. Because of the time difference it would mean having my sessions from 9-10 am so not too disruptive to my day. I've just never done that before. I could Skype from my tablet with headphones.

Anybody have any experience and/or thoughts on this? I'm genuinely unsure about if I should or not.

 

[ekane]

You should do the Skype sessions. You are putting yourself back into the world of abusers who will be a trigger whether or not they behave as they did in the past.

 

[WillyKat]

Your decision of course, but I don't see any downside to this, as long as you have the hour in complete privacy and safety.

 

[rainbow1]

Since I moved cities away from my T I have had telephone sessions and now we use Skype.

Skype sessions work really well for me but there were a few things my T suggested we think about beforehand hope this is helpful for you too..

1.Will you have privacy to talk, headphones only stop other people hearing your T but not you speaking.
2.Its a good idea to have a 'code' word encase you need to end the Skype session because someone has come in.
3.Decide beforehand who calls who and if the connection breaks then who will call back.
4.Have a phone number as a back up encase your connection doesn't work for any other reason.

Its not as good as seeing your T in person but its a pretty good second best when you need the support but can't get to your T. I hope it works out for you if you decide to give it a try.

 

[Lucycat]

I think planning these sessions sound like a really good safety net. If at the appropriate times you feel you don't need it you can say so then. but be prepared!

 

[moonbeam]

Thanks rainbow1 that helps.

Its hard to know in advance how private it will be. And since my family doesn't know I have to be careful about it.

I'm concerned about being around them and it upsetting me. But at the same time I'm concerned if I have a session and that upsets me than its could make it worse. My T really wants me to talk to my mum so I think I may have to discuss taking that off the table because while it would be the best opportunity to do it, I am not ready to (if ever) and I don't want the thought of that stressing me out.

Plus I sometimes get uncomfortable with silence though I am getting better and not sure how that'll go with Skype.

 

[rainbow1]

sometimes get uncomfortable with silence

Yeah, I'm the same. I hate the silence I used to get really angry at T for not filling them quickly enough! When you don't have the visual cues it is different but your T will be able to help you with that. Mine says things like 'i'm still here' or 'i'm still listening' so that breaks the silence a bit and lets me know the connection hasn't been cut.

 

[moonbeam]

Ah that would help. Now I mostly hate them because I know my T is going to break the silence with "where are you right now?" Or "what are you thinking about just now?" And I'm so accustomed to it that its what I'm thinking about and how I should probably have a better answer than that. Oi.

I don't want to say no and end up needing it as my Mr will be the only real support I have there, and I don't want to burden him. But without knowing 100% what it'll be like I don't want to say yes and have it and hiding my skype sessions be a huge stress as well. We're staying in a resort (its a family holiday so I'm meeting them there, they don't live there). Hmmm.

 

[Friday]

I have zero privacy when with my family... Boundaries? What are these "boundaries" you speak of? So in order to have privacy for Skype & phone calls I head out to the nearest public wifi (Starbucks, library, McDonalds, etc.) and talk to people in my car so that I can talk freely.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Skype is a truly great medium. Feel free to add me as well :) :hug:s

 

[moonbeam]

Hmm I hadn't thought of the car though that might make it even more obvious if I'm on Skype in the car for an hour. My friend thinks I should tell them that its counseling but I'm afraid of the floodgates of questions and BS I'll get.

Thanks Laurie. Pm me your details though I will be hours behind the UK.

 

[rainbow1]

I used to sit in the car too and speak to T on the mobile when I was back living at home. I just used to tell them I needed to pop out for a while on my own for some 'me' time. You'd be surprised at how little attention people pay to someone sitting talking on the phone or Skype in a car.

Try not to worry too much about it. Your T wants to support you whilst your away but it probably won't be like a normal session I would presume it will be just supporting you to deal with things whilst your away. Ask your T to give you an idea of what to expect too.