Small Town Life To City Life

[Jon_LA]

I am from a small town of about 15,000 people and during college lived with a roommate who gave me PTSD (though I didn't realize it at the time), so I lived with chronic exposure a stressor for 9 months (not just a single event). My main symptom now is that I am unconditionally hypervigilant around all people all the time, regardless of who they are, which has led me to go from having a network of friends to being completely socially isolated. I bought a gun recently just in case I can't take it anymore. But I am going to therapy and using medications to help heal as much as possible. I want to get rid of this neurological wiring that leads to my hyperarousal symptoms, not kill myself. So I'm willing to listen to any good advice out there.

I moved to a larger city of about 500,000 people a couple years ago and have noticed that I feel more stressed out and constantly surrounded by people, sometimes even when I'm by myself in my house. My question is: would moving back to small town help reduce the amount of stress and anxiety? Thereby letting the healing process be much easier and more effective?

 

[franciemarnie]

It could lead to less stress. Only you know for sure.

If it were me, and I could, I would probably move because anything to make healing easier I would do. The fact that you bought a gun is a big sign that you are feeling much worse in the bigger city.

I've lived in a big, loud city for decades. The past few years, I've had to leave town at least three times a year to go somewhere quiet and where there is nature, which I find so healing. When I'm in the city, I create "space" by putting in my IPod and walking where there are trees and birds, etc. Walking or working out into almost a trance state can give me a reasonable facsimile to the serenity I find in the country.

I think healing has to be number one and I try to do whatever I can to expedite that. I hope things improve for you really soon.

 

[The Albatross]

It worked for me in combination with other things in recovery. (Moving to a smaller place) My traumas mainly occurred in San Diego, Boston, Philadelphia and where I live now is about 100 thousand. When that gets to be too much I have a small very rural camp that I go to. Also helpful, was putting myself into a couple different jobs were the hypervigilence was actually useful. I Was a life guard for a decade and also a Certified Nursing Assistant.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I live in a city of 3,500. I can go to the big city where I used to live, but I prefer a more rural place.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I live in the country. I love it. I can't stand constant stimulation of others so this suits me just fine.

PS please get rid of the gun. PTSD and guns don't mix well.

 

[rightkindofme]

Get rid of the gun. Seriously.

It sounds like anything that feels like a positive move is a great first step. Get rid of the gun then start packing. It is weird and unusual for many animal species to live packed into cities of 500,000. Go back to somewhere that you can get to know the people around you in a less intimidating circumstance.

I'm sorry that things are so scary right now. :(

 

[Hashi]

There can be positive things about living in a city with PTSD. It can be easier to withdraw and be anonymous. My experience is that in small towns people tend to like to know other people's business more. There can be more expectations to be friendly and socialise or take part in the community. In a city, people might be more accepting of different types of behaviour, because there are so many different individuals, cultures and perspectives. It might be easier to find work. Wages might be better. Services and infrastructure might be better. There might be a wider choice of therapies and therapists.

Of course, none of those things might apply or be important to you. But presumably there's some reason you moved to a city. How would that be affected if you moved to a smaller place? How would you be affected by changing therapists if you moved?

You don't actually say how you feel about small towns or cities, apart from feeling surrounded. I'd suggest writing down a list of pros and cons of being in a city and the pros and cons of being in a small town, then comparing them.

I live in a city of 8 million people, by the way. :D It suits me.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I think you need to get rid of the gun. You really are hurting very deeply. Food for thought. No matter where we live we take our problems with us. You have to follow your basic needs for safety and it does not sound like you are feeling safe where you live.
Moving is stressfull, I am going through that myself.

Get yourself well, so you can follow your heart. Hugs.

 

[Privateer]

Cities are just hideous, even without PTSD. I'd say 'head back'.

 

[Hashi]

Ahem. Privateer.... some of us like cities. Others have reasons, on balance, for living in cities.

I'm thinking cities are hideous in your opinion? Rather than, cities are hideous - fact. Personally, I can't think of anything worse than living in a small town or in the country. It really depends on the individual - not everyone is going to benefit from heading back to a small town. Horses for courses,

 

[Privateer]

Well, I suppose they're okay if you don't mind high crime rates, noise, bad air, concrete everywhere, no sense of community etc. etc.

 

[WillyKat]

Having lived in both small towns, big cities, and just about everything in between, there are tradeoffs to everything. Big cities have higher stress levels; no doubt about it. But they also have better mental health options.

Small towns have less stress, but little privacy and not many choices for mental health.

I think the trick is find a happy medium that works for you. I'm in the suburbs now, but one suburb bleeds into another so it feels like a big city. Lots of access to good therapists though, and I lucked out that I live near some open land with a surprising amount of wildlife: I see birds of prey, coyotes, deer, wild turkeys, and even a bobcat here. If I'm lucky, I might see a wild boar. I'm also near the freeway that can take me to incredible wilderness just three hours away. I don't think I could last long w/o the ability to escape "civilization."

I would avoid an inner city like the plague. One apartment complex after another, or high crime. Move. If you can find a safe neighborhood with some open space or a big park, that might suit you.

Ask yourself what you really need in your life right now, get to know the different areas around you, and then take some positive move.

I have no right to talk to you about guns. I have a few of them. But let me just say this: The people that hurt us want us to make negative decisions, so tell them off by making a positive decision. At least, unload it, put the ammo in a different location, and put a lock through the action or put it in a safe.