Friday
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I don't know how much quitting smoking had to do with my latest tailspin. I quit smoking during the same time this all (re)started 3 years ago, but I also had enough stress all on its own (violent assault, inability to protect someone I loved, divorce, oh my).
Point of this question... Is that I restarted on 10Nov. Had some crazy stress coming up 1 month later, it was already an anniversary, and I was at the end of my rope. Smoking, surprisingly, helped. I never quit nicotine. I'm ADHD. Need the stimulants to slow my thoughts down. I'm back to my old patterns. Once an hour during normal times, and chain smoking through stress.
I need to quit, again.
One thing I've realized is that I "square breathe" when I'm smoking. 4 in. 4 hold. 4 out. 4 hold.
Something my new trauma therapist has been trying to get me to do, but I get distracted. Sometimes I can do it once, but more often not, and I can't get 2 or 3 in a row, much less 5 or 10.
I'm beginning to wonder how much smoking actually "helps" versus the fact that for 7-14 minutes at least once an hour (and more often as needed) I'm breathing in a regulated manner?
For the smokers & ex smokers on here... Does any of this resonate? Make sense? Or do I just smoke weird?
Point of this question... Is that I restarted on 10Nov. Had some crazy stress coming up 1 month later, it was already an anniversary, and I was at the end of my rope. Smoking, surprisingly, helped. I never quit nicotine. I'm ADHD. Need the stimulants to slow my thoughts down. I'm back to my old patterns. Once an hour during normal times, and chain smoking through stress.
I need to quit, again.
One thing I've realized is that I "square breathe" when I'm smoking. 4 in. 4 hold. 4 out. 4 hold.
Something my new trauma therapist has been trying to get me to do, but I get distracted. Sometimes I can do it once, but more often not, and I can't get 2 or 3 in a row, much less 5 or 10.
I'm beginning to wonder how much smoking actually "helps" versus the fact that for 7-14 minutes at least once an hour (and more often as needed) I'm breathing in a regulated manner?
For the smokers & ex smokers on here... Does any of this resonate? Make sense? Or do I just smoke weird?