So Bored, So Depressed

[Lady of Longbourn]

I sit at home all day. No job. Going to school soon in early January.So what do I do until then? Thought about taking some self-defense courses. Husband says he's fine with it but I think he will change is mind and we'll end up fighting over it. T says to move. Yeah, yeah, I pace all day, thinking. So what I go to a gym were people will look at me funny because I'm dressed different? The gym freaks me out anyway, found a pair of mans underwear there once. Gross. House needs cleaning but that overwhelms me, making me want to cry with frustration.

All I do is THINK, racing mind, trying to find something to think about other then that I have no friends. No life.

I'm totally rambling.

 

[Jawn]

Ayesha,

Forget the gym. Just go for a long walk and get some exercise and enjoy the outdoors for while. I think the T's idea is for you to get real exercise and get your heart rate up because that is when you get "stress relief" from the exercise. Other ideas, volunteer at a school, old folks home, or a local shelter. Start a dog walking service, etc. Your T is right, get up and move, but also find something that will make you feel good about yourself, like volunteering with kids or something.

Actually, the self defense class sounds like a good idea or maybe a dance class? Either would be challenging and have good exercise benefits too!

Just some quick thoughts.

Jawn

 

[cherryblossom]

It's easy to get out of a routine when you have no work or school.

Try to get your day into a routine. Go to bed and get up at the same time each day. Try to eat regular healthy meals, and as you T and Jawn have suggested, get some exercise. Walking is great exercise, or swimming. Also try to set yourself some goals for the day. Whether that be to go for a walk, or try a new recipe, or clean one room of the house. Think about what you enjoy doing, or maybe something you used to enjoy before depression hit. Jawn has also given you great ideas about volunteering. It's important to have some purpose to your day. Maybe an evening class? Meeting friends for coffee? Try being creative, drawing, painting, writing poetry....

It's not easy to motivate yourself when you feel depressed, but you have to push yourself to do something, otherwise one has too much time to ruminate and get further depressed.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

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Would you laugh at me in that? I would love to swim again, I used when I was younger. And its a lot of work. My T was talking about that to, move until you are to exhausted to move anymore. I see his point. Swimming would be hard though...being muslim, our range of swim wear looks a little weird and is expensive. But to hell with what people think. Self defense I think I should try too!

Yeah, I painted a picture. Can't say I'm much of a painter...but I think it looks damn good.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I'll go for a walk.

 

[cherryblossom]

Like you say, to hell what people think! I actually think it looks really elegant. I don't swim because I can't bear to be seen in a swim suit. So we all have our issues. I've been told I can wear shorts and a tshirt in my gym pool, but I still haven't made it to the water! If you like your paintings, and you enjoy painting who cares what others think? Keep giving it a go!

Anyway, I see a bit of a spark in you, and in your reply, and that's good news :smile:

Keep trying new things. You have to FIGHT your way out of depression. Baby steps. Start small, with small daily goals. You will be pleased with yourself at the end of the day when you have achieved something with your day.

 

[James B.]

I agree with Jawn. Self empowered autonomous action is often the most accessible and the most rewarding. "Action equals self-esteem" - Brice Lee, The Tao Of Jeet Kune Do.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Oh, I am fighting. Taking baby steps is getting hard. But I see what you mean. House work...I'll ignore for now. The husband; needs to learn I have needs, I want a life too. Feels great being to honest, and blunt. Becasue I am that way. I set my T emails today, telling him things I should have said yesterday but didn't because I couldn't.

That swimsuit is out of the question it would cost me about 250 dollars to get here. More painting is better,more affordable. I have another idea for another painting already. Should visit the store tonight...

Still taking that walk, but can't find any socks....

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Self = Me empowered = increasing strenght autonomous= acting independently action

Is that right?