So Didn't Expect This! In The Hospital..

[Taylor30313]

So, where do I even begin?? I guess from the beginning. I have felt tired everyday of my life for a good couple years now. Which isn't fun let me tell you. But for the last few months, it has been life altering, how exhausted I am. I will get up after sleeping 10-12 hours and sit on the couch to get awake and I'll fall asleep.. I will be driving and I will not be able to keep my eyes open. So I bit the bullet! Even though I'm terrified of doctors, I decide enough was enough. I have a busy, young life filled with work and college. So they tested for thyroid issues, anemia, and a couple of other things. A couple days later I'm told he wants me to come in to review it. So I go in and I'm relieved, I thought it was going to be my thyroid seeing that my cousin was just diagnosed with Hashimoto's.. I was so wrong. Doctors walks in, shakes my hand, and says "you need to go to the hospital".. I'm shocked. He explains that he can't believe how bad my blood numbers look. He said most people have a Hemoglobin level of about 16. Mine is 8. He goes on to say that if I were a car, I'd be running on half a tank. Anything under 8 is worthy of a blood transfusion. So off I go and it has definitely been a journey. They thought I might have had leukemia.. Which I don't! :) Cancer free. But now we are left with where is this copious amount of blood loss coming from?

This is where my PTSD comes in. They think it is probably female related. Which means I need a Pelvic exam... And I'm absolutely terrified. Whenever I start to think about it, I just feel like Im going to die. To me, whether you think it is silly or not, it feels like I am going to crumble into dust. I think it is going to feel the same as the abuse, Im afraid she is going to think I look or smell weird, Im just terrified. Kind words would be nice right now!

 

[Flossy]

Oh dear Taylor, poor thing. I am guessing you have told the docs for your records that you have PTSD.

I think you need to tell the nurses to put an alert into your notes that you need something for your anxiety if they are going to perform any kind of gynie examination on you and you needs lots of support and a gentle attitude as this could trigger you.

Double check that they have put the alert into your notes.

If you put it in clinical terms they will understand. "I need an anti-anxiety med , supportive preparation, privacy and calm otherwise this will trigger PTSD symptoms."

Make sure you ask for a gown and a sheet and use them during any exam. Make sure you say " I am feeling.........." before they start to talk about the procedure. This is taking control and they should respect it.

I know this is practical advise but I think it will help you. Doctors and nurses at times focus on technical but always seem to respond well to a patient being open, honest and upfront about what they need in a way that allows the professional to show their compassion.

Best wishes

 

[Fadeaway]

:hug: It it helps, you aren't alone. I was just hospitalized for a hemoglobin of 6.4. I ended up with 3 blood transfusions. Terrifying stuff. My levels currently range between 7 and 9. They haven't been able to get me above that. So yeah, I know how crappy you feel.

Not exactly the same thing as a pelvic exam but I had to have a a g.i. scope...well lets just say I was super lucky that the nurse had knowledge about PTSD.

Being afraid of a pelvic exam is not silly.They are one of the most unpleasant things about being a woman. If you ever had to have one done as a result of SA, well, I think they are traumatic in and of themselves. If you explain to the Dr that you have PTSD they will more than likely offer you Valium or something else to help.

I am guessing they put you on iron. Not all iron pills are created equall, so I would look for one that is easier to absorb. Vitamin C is also supposed to help with absorbency.

 

[Taylor30313]

Thank you both <3 This is helpful. I am just really nervous and embarrassed about it. What if I look different from everyone else she has seen? Or if I miss a hair? lol. And then from a PTSD aspect I'm freakishly scared it's going to feel the same or that I'll be sent into a panic attack... Ugh :dead:

 

[Friday]

As far as your OB/Gyn's comfort :

I have a girlfriend who uses FDS to help with an ongoing odor issue, and pre-coffee one morning sprayed herself extra thoroughly because she had an OB/Gyn appt later that day. It wasn't until much later... That she realized... Nope. She hadn't used her deodorant spray. She'd used her daughter's hair glitter spray!!! Of course, she found this out legs in stirrups.

OB/Gyns see everything. From accidental glitter attacks ( :facepalm: ), to vajazzles... From seriously gnarly infections & growths, to major trauma needing reconstructive repair.... From full bush to Brazilian wax...piercings to pregnancy. Everything. Heck, there are even some procedures they want you to come in during your period for. They see little kids to 90yo women. They saw it all in school, and they see hundreds of patients each month, thousands upon thousands, year after year.

As far as your own comfort :

OB/Gyns deal with rape trauma nearly every single day. My own hands out truffles to *all* patients (under the theory that everything in life is less yucky with good chocolate), regardless of their history, and has the entire rainbow assortment of anti-anxiety meds on hand for anyone who requests one... No questions asked (except for if you have a preference in med & dose).

My GP checks with me every year to see if I need a PAP or other GYN exam... I've told him he's welcome to take over my gyn care... The moment he starts handing out chocolate & Valium ;) If you don't have your own Ob/Gyn? I'd ask a friend to call around for you to find a good one, or use the doctor referral service in the hospital. Good docs are priceless!

 

[The Albatross]

Good on you Taylor for your proactivity with your health issue! Any way to re-frame the exam in a way that it is assistive rather than anticipating that it "feels" like abuse?

 

[Nicci777]

I feel for you... I've had ulcerative colitis a few times in past. My blood count was very low and it got scary. Ty for sharing. I think you are very brave and strong..
I hope the drs were sensitive to your PTSD when you had exam. I always make sure to have a female do the exam at least.. Best of luck. :hug:

 

[Nicci777]

Btw chocolate and Valium sounds great!! I do have klonopin.. Just need some Godiva chocolate with almonds and toffee.. Num

 

[Ocean5]

I'm not a female. But I'd recommend as others have let them know of PTSD. Even giving you fast acting anxiety drug before. Especially if you experience panic attacks. Do you have a psychiatrist to give script for small supply?

Been through whole blood test....every couple days at one point since blood count was dropping. My arms where so bruised. It's very scary....

Hold onto hope!

 

[hodge]

I hate gyn exams! Luckily I have a good doctor, a small Puerto Rican woman with small hands and she talks to me throughout, asks me about my art, etc. It's very helpful. You will be okay. Especially with some Valium. Would it help to have a woman doctor? That helped me enormously.