So Low

[mary1979]

Hands down, in my experience, depression is THE MOST DIFFICULT obstacle to overcome.

Whether its situational or chemical, its a prick to get a handle on.
And peoples advice SUCKS when you are feeling that blackness.
'get some fresh air'
'take a nice bath'
'do something you enjoy'
Ugh. Tedious and vexing suggestions you just want to scowl at.
ALL you want to do is crawl in a hole and be alone.

But it IS the only way out.
Only you can claw yourself back.
Visit your doctor and have your meds reviewed.
On the way home stop in a park with a sandwich. Feed the ducks.
Smile at the sun.

Then go home and allow yourself to retreat..
Do something, no matter how insignificant, each day that makes you smile.

This too will pass xxx
Its never as bad as it feels.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I've been in a similar place, it does pass, honestly. If someone had told me that two years ago I wouldn't have believed them, but it's true. ((((hugs))))

 

[seedling]

You can now find out who you are and what you like. It's all there inside of you, hidden down deep for protection.
Try to identity one small thing you truly like and proclaim it loudly inside yourself! THIS is who I am! No one can take that away from you now.
You will learn to let go of people who don't care about you.

 

[shimmerz]

Attachments to abusers and getting rid of them is really hard. I felt like I was haunted by my HIM (I had two of them....). A friend here reminded me to look at removing my attachments. Everytime I thought about HIM(s) I would literally visualize slicing the ties as viciously as I could. I think it was the act of taking control of them (even visually) that got my body and mind moving forward again. Not sure if this helps you at all... but I sure am sending you warm and healing thoughts. I hope you can catch them.

 

[SwordsPandaGirl]

@anthony I know you don't mean anything nasty but what you have said, or atleast I hope not :( I think being angry at him does help. It's better than blaming myself, which I used to do often (and try not to anymore). I'm not trying to direct my anger at anyone here and I am very sorry if it has come across that way, that was not my intention at all. I am angry at him and him only. What I mean by things I used to enjoy has been taken away from me because of him is because he has hurt me, not just emotionally but physically. I used to be very active when I was younger and I had dreams of continuing with dance, which I loved and had worked hard to get grades in. This has been taken from me because he has damaged me physically and I can no longer do it and become professional. Not only that but other aspects of my life that affects my relationship that I'd rather not get into. So yes, I am angry at him. I know what you mean that anger wont change what happened to me but I can't help it. He has literally ruined me. I'm not sure how to move on from this.

@shimmerz I'm not sure how to do that :( how do you break an attachment? Do I still have an attachment? How do I know if I do?

@mary1979 I think out of all my symptoms (and as much as I really do hate getting flashbacks) depression happens to be the hardest and most painful part :( there is no grounding yourself with it and no matter what I try, it just seems to not lighten up. I'm sorry to hear you have/are going through similar :hug: .

@Cj77 That's exactly how I feel :( I don't know how to stop it.

@seedling Thank you. I am struggling to let go of those that don't care. Especially family members who don't believe me and have taken his side. How does someone get over this? :(

 

[EveHarrington]

I think if you truly believe that someone has ruined you then this will be your destiny. The power of thought is immense. Good things are hard to come by if not impossible if we are only looking at the negative side of life and only expect bad things for ourself.

 

[anthony]

I'm not sure how to move on from this.

Channel the anger then... channel it into motivating yourself to change what is, to who you want to be, and what you want to do. You can't change some things, but others you can. If you can't be a professional dancer, you can teach, you can help out, you can channel your anger towards proving your abuser wrong... until such time as you can heal in more productive ways which come with time and age.

 

[SwordsPandaGirl]

@anthony I guess I have a lot to work on, especially the channeling anger as I don't think I've ever done that before. Thank you for your advice and taking the time to help me out :hug:

 

[seedling]

It's OK to grieve what you have lost. And you will find a way to go forward to what comes next.
You thought you were going on a trip to one place but woke up in another. It can be just as beautiful a place. Embrace the challenge as much as you can.

 

[anthony]

Panda, it's about helping you to see beyond the present, to the future that is really unknown. I could say your future is going to be great, but that is a lie. Your immediately future may be worse. None of us can see the future, and that is something you must accept and use going forward. It doesn't matter how tough something is, now, present tense, but we don't move on, instead, we move through the present. Our past shapes who we are, it does not shape our future, just us, as individual people.

What you need to accept, is that you will get through any bad period in your life, it just takes help, encouragement, a little hard work on your part, and usually a whole lot of talking to process and understand the situation. None of us are perfect. The essence of being human is to be imperfect, in actuality.

When people begin tossing around statements like, "I don't know how to move on" or such, it says you feel stuck, and that can be dangerous if that is what you believe. When the facts are, you feel stuck, but you are only as stuck as you choose to be in any given moment in time, psychologically. Tomorrow brings different feelings, as does the next day, the next, and so forth. By the time you reach 30 days ahead, you look back at the day you feel stuck and wonder what the hell you were thinking, because then you no longer feel stuck and have proved you moved forwards regardless what your brain told you in your past.

 

[sun seeker]

I feel completely alone and like no one cares about me, or what happens to me.

I don't know about the people around you, but most likely, the issue is they don't understand. Very few people do, unless they've been there.

I know you all do

Yes.

the people around me, dont understand

It's so very hard, and lonely. I truly do understand. It feels like it will never end, but it does.

There is nothing for me in this world.

I've felt like that so often! It's taken time and a lot of help, but I'm starting not to believe that anymore. Some days are better and others worse, but the bottom of the pit where you are now is not all there is for you.

Ive been through CBT, exposure therapy and medication. What else is there?!

Loads of things. Are you at a place where you can hear suggestions though? Or is it more empathy you are looking for? I don't want to overload you with suggestions you might not be able to take in yet, so I'll just say once you are ready, there are a gazillion other things to try.

First is connecting with others. I'm so glad you were able to reach out and tell us what is happening for you. That's a great step.

 

[rainy_daze]

How are you Swords?