Social Anxiety And Mutism After Ptsd

[Opal]

Hi, I have a question about something I have been dealing with...4 years ago a very traumatic event caused PTSD. I wasn't diagnosed until last year, so I didn't know what was going on and tried to put it out of my mind as much as possible.

Before this I was extremely confident and had no anxiety, loved drama and public speaking and meeting new people, and never felt the typical anxiety before a speech or presentation or whatever else.

Immediately after this trauma I suddenly started having panic attacks constantly, multiple times a day. Then it graduated to a feeling of being extremely tense, anxious and on edge all the time, interspersed with panic attacks. I started to get nervous of being around people because I didn't want them to see the panic attacks and anxiety. That's when the anxiety and panic attacks started getting triggered with social situations or the anticipation of social situations, and the more it kept happening the worse the anxiety got until I was having panic attacks at night knowing I would have to interact with people in the morning. I would cringe remembering having panic attacks in class or in front of people, my voice shaking horribly, seeing my heart beating outside my clothes, and everyone staring at me. The palpitations were so visually extreme I was persuaded to go to the doctor and get an EKG.

I developed almost selective mutism, I could speak a bit but not in class where all attention was focused on me. I had someone else appointed to read my work out loud, skipped presentations and forfeited the grade if a professor said I had to present, and could just barely speak at all in public. I lost all my friends and don't interact with anyone day to day. Even knowing I have to go out and get a prescription filled or go to the bank or even make a phone call or send an email fills me with dread weeks ahead of time, and I get panic attacks and dissociate if I leave the house by myself.

I wonder if anyone knows if this is known to happen with PTSD. My personality is entirely changed. I had talk therapy but it didn't help, maybe because the therapist only knew me as I am now.

 

[Gadgie]

I can relate to what you say, as I went through the same thing. I used to be a welding instructor, and this involved me having to give class room lectures on various subjects to classes of around twenty plus trainees.

I used to manage that no problem, but these days I have a panic attack if I'm in a room with more than three people in it!

In the past, I have even left a trolley of shopping in ASDA because I found myself "trapped" in an isle, as there was a crowd of folk at either end, and I felt trapped. It's not only changed my life, it's changed my personality, and that's the most scariest thing about it"

 

[Raina]

Hey Opal,

I was the same, I travelled by myself round the world but during my PTSD I became agoraphobic. I couldn't bare to be around people when it was what I loved before.

I'm not sure if we can go backwards and become our old selves. Which is a blessing and a curse. It's about rebuilding a new you from the foundation up. You can use some of the older building materials but they have to fit.

Therapy can be tricky, my first therapist didn't seem to know what to do with me. Or maybe I was so deep in it, it felt like it wasn't helping. My second lot was very helpful. I'd recommend trying again with it. This stuff is too much for a person no matter how strong to do without help. Give yourself a break, the older parts of you that you decide you want to keep or relearn will be there for you when you've come through the storm. Xxxx

 

[Freedomfighter]

Hi, I have a question about something I have been dealing with...4 years ago a very traumatic event caused...

Yes, that kind of anxiety is normal unfortunately, have noticed that when therapy mimics what has happened before. My anxiety rises exponentially. I am currently in a phase that reminds me of abusers, total strangers, that tried to crash into my life after I reported a stalker. The backlash from that alone was huge, but to also be abused by the people who were supposed to protect me placed me into a dark dark place after that.

I now realize better what has happened in those days, and know now that I simply liked people, that I looked up to them, that I trusted them.......but they attempted to get much more from me than I was willing go give. Have been punished by males over and over after they realize that friendship is all I am willing to give to them.
Why can they not just accept that and move on with their life without hurting a person? I will never know that. All I know is that it is very tough if you are abused by someone that you respect and that you look up to, a person whom you believe to be helpful and honest. But every time such people seem to want a partnership instead of friendship and then attempt to abuse me because I go on distance.

When growing up in a different country that was never an issue, had friends from both genders who have never behaved like the people that I have to deal with in this country. Just completely different people. In this country there are so many abusers who want to force themselves onto me...... Why?