Social Anxiety - The Worst!

[heidi]

After I talk to someone I rehash endlessly in my mind.

It can get so intense I'll yell out nonsense words in private. It can get so bad I actually have to re-have the conversation out loud privately. Crazy, huh?

Not an energy waster at all.

 

[PTSD sufferer]

Me too Heidi, not crazy at all. I think it is frustration, role playing and the negative self talk that make me do this. My P said that it is normal to talk to the 'wall' in frustration, but I should let him know if the 'wall' talks back :)

 

[Traumagirl]

I rehash conversations like that in my mind also. I don't think it's crazy to say it out loud. I just wish I could stop doing it.

 

[heidi]

Thanks guys. That's so sweet. You can normalize anything. <3 <3.

 

[angel2write]

Yeah- I constantly replay conversations. And a lot of my verbal outbursts are me yelling to try to make the replays stop cycling through my head. Sometimes it seems like my brain is determined to replay every conversational faux pas I've made since I was six!

My P said that it is normal to talk to the 'wall' in frustration, but I should let him know if the 'wall' talks back :)

OMG! This made me laugh!!

I guess I'm good, because so far the wall is staying out of it. ;)

 

[PTSD sufferer]

LOL...I responded to my P that the 'wall' is too smart for that, because it knows that it is better to stand in silence, than to take me on when I am frustrated :) it never buckles or complains either, it's a good wall - it can take it :)

 

[AzGillmoreGirl]

Wow. I am sitting here, trying to hold back the tears. Since the "incident" almost two years ago, I have become a completely different person. I used to be extremely social, and really enjoyed being out and about. Now, I have a hard time leaving the house without my husband, one of my kids, or my puppy with me. I hate to say this, but I am relieved to see that others feel the same way. It is hard dealing with this without anyone that can understand how I feel. I am afraid that I will see something horrific again when I am in public, and feel like people who know I have ptsd are watching me to see how I react to things, or they are feeling sorry for me and don't know what to say. Being outside of my house is also tiring and stressful because it takes a lot of energy and concentration to act "normal" and not freak out when hear or see certain things.

 

[rightkindofme]

For me the intensity of anxiety comes and goes over the years. I have bad periods and bad months. I have a lot of "triggering events" and anniversaries so I have a lot of bad spells. I'm trying not to become too rigid around expecting and creating them.

I assume everyone hates me. I compulsively talk about sex because that is how I made friends for about 20 years. I am not very good about being "appropriate". It feels embarrassing. I feel disgusting.

 

[Shellbell]

I have social anxiety too. I could see myself descending into being agoraphobic, not wanting to go anywhere or see anyone.

I knew this was not healthy and decided that some anxiety would have take place and to tackle it. But in doing that - making sure I didn't have too many other stressors for the day as well. So on days I meet friends, I really only do necessary things that day and factor in stress relief, relaxation and breathing techniques as well. I still feel anxiety but am managing it, for now.

My therapist was pretty happy with that and said it was an positive way to tackle it, for me it's not healthy to avoid social anxiety completely and that I had devised my own positive strategy. Yay!

Big social situations I have yet to experience since PTSD hit hard. That is something I don't think I will handle well yet.

But little steps forward is okay :)

 

[Traumagirl]

I used to love going out and spending time with large groups of people. When I was in college, I was in a marching band of 300 people. Every party was a huge social event. Now, I have to go to this fundraiser my in-laws' church is having for our family. It is so sweet that they though to help us because my husband has stage 4 cancer. I am grateful for this, but I really don't want to go. Talking about cancer all night just makes my social anxiety worse. I feel so guilty, but I really want to stay home.

 

[Britt.f7]

I feel anxiety building up days before I have to be social. I even feel panic when going to family events, which are usually big, but I'm not big on small gatherings either. It got to the point that I would start drinking before I left(of course I wasn't the one driving). I didn't usually drink at the gatherings. I knew this was a really bad sign. I stopped doing that, because, even if they didn't know I did. If I could opt not to go, and not be ostracized for it I wouldn't go. Then I think, well I shouldn't keep my kids away from their family.

I have to say, after I have been there awhile my anxiety lowers and I find I want to say. However, I'm generally the one who keeps busy at the sink or around the food(that I usually won't eat).

It has gotten worse in the last couple months. I don't remember the last time I was out for anything other then my therapy. I even cancelled an appointment because I didn't want to leave my home. My therapist said I should give myself credit for going to therapy in this state of mind.

My husband has been trying to get me out. I know my kids, when this started being this severe, asked my husband what was wrong with me or if I was all right.

I hope to work through this sooner then later. Holidays are coming up and that is enough of a stressor.

Kudos to all who have gotten beyond this!

 

[JustBe]

I've been living like this for decades Britt.