i understand what you are saying but bear in mind that my journey started with the intention of working exclusively with the Armed Forces because i am aware of the problems within the UK and its lack of support. most of them get passed to civilian therapists which creates more problems and it keeps coming up that me being ex forces will help with their therapy because of the culture and language barriers being removed. this forum has generated a more open eyed view of PTSD and maybe i can do some good for people who are not military (i dont know yet) but i am still only human and i have my limitations just like anyone else. i cant do everything so my energies are going to be spent on quality rather than quantity because i want to be good at it for the patients sake. doing something that i will not be good at can only do more harm so i would rather see them with someone who would be better for them.
as for me becoming traumatised......i cant see that happening. i am extremely emotionally detached which is why i run away from relationships before they happen. i dont know if i am even capable of an emotional attachment any more but right now i dont have time for that anyway. on friday i attended my grandmothers funeral which meant seeing family who i havent seen in 10 years plus (by choice) and i was anxious about it but it turned out ok. then i attended my college class in the afternoon much to the surprise of my tutor and classmates. they all thought i was nuts for going but as i said, this morning was my past, this afternoon is my future! i know that will raise a few eyebrows but i dont really care what people think. my goal is clear and nothing is going to stop me going after it.
i may be proven wrong on some things but i guess time will tell. nothing worth having is easy!
as for me becoming traumatised......i cant see that happening. i am extremely emotionally detached which is why i run away from relationships before they happen. i dont know if i am even capable of an emotional attachment any more but right now i dont have time for that anyway. on friday i attended my grandmothers funeral which meant seeing family who i havent seen in 10 years plus (by choice) and i was anxious about it but it turned out ok. then i attended my college class in the afternoon much to the surprise of my tutor and classmates. they all thought i was nuts for going but as i said, this morning was my past, this afternoon is my future! i know that will raise a few eyebrows but i dont really care what people think. my goal is clear and nothing is going to stop me going after it.
i may be proven wrong on some things but i guess time will tell. nothing worth having is easy!