-
We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
-
Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.
Social Class And Ptsd
- Post starter Never_falter2
- Start date
- Status
I don't think it is a fallacy at all. Granted I'm a sufferer so YMMV.
I can and do separate myself professionally/academically and personally. I may utterly dislike someone I work with because they're a (example only) slob with no concept of personal space, but I respect them professionally because when it comes down to the wire on complex projects, they've always got insights and ways to pull us all through. What I think about him as a person means I will never socialize with him, and I will be remote when dealing with them outside of a strictly professional environment, but it should never interfere with getting the job done.
There are, of course, levels of this.
When I'm on the parts of the forums here about people suffering, or trying to get by, I crank up my empathy and credulity. I believe people when they say things, and yes, sometimes I have to push the skeptic in me into a deep dark closet and lock the door, but I do. (this is harder to do in real life but I usually manage in the moment and rant to my husband about it later)
When I'm on parts of the forums here that aren't directly related to experiences, then I can be more frank.
When I'm talking about a topic that's been studied or researched (like social class) I tend to be much more reserved, and I try to feel very little. For me it's like a math problem. Noone feels angry or happy that 2+2=4; so why would a researched, peer reviewed, surveyed and verified answer in any other forum of knowledge make you happy or sad? You might be angry or sad that (following the example here) social classes and inequality exists, and that it can be so harmful, but you're not angry or sad that that's the way it is. You're sad at the consequences.
Separating personal and professional does and can happen, it's just harder for some than others and it takes time. I'm not entirely sure it isn't a form of dissociative "coping" to lessen the stress of the environment, though. :P
I can and do separate myself professionally/academically and personally. I may utterly dislike someone I work with because they're a (example only) slob with no concept of personal space, but I respect them professionally because when it comes down to the wire on complex projects, they've always got insights and ways to pull us all through. What I think about him as a person means I will never socialize with him, and I will be remote when dealing with them outside of a strictly professional environment, but it should never interfere with getting the job done.
There are, of course, levels of this.
When I'm on the parts of the forums here about people suffering, or trying to get by, I crank up my empathy and credulity. I believe people when they say things, and yes, sometimes I have to push the skeptic in me into a deep dark closet and lock the door, but I do. (this is harder to do in real life but I usually manage in the moment and rant to my husband about it later)
When I'm on parts of the forums here that aren't directly related to experiences, then I can be more frank.
When I'm talking about a topic that's been studied or researched (like social class) I tend to be much more reserved, and I try to feel very little. For me it's like a math problem. Noone feels angry or happy that 2+2=4; so why would a researched, peer reviewed, surveyed and verified answer in any other forum of knowledge make you happy or sad? You might be angry or sad that (following the example here) social classes and inequality exists, and that it can be so harmful, but you're not angry or sad that that's the way it is. You're sad at the consequences.
Separating personal and professional does and can happen, it's just harder for some than others and it takes time. I'm not entirely sure it isn't a form of dissociative "coping" to lessen the stress of the environment, though. :P
digger
Sponsor
Can you explain what this means please? It's not one I've come across before.
Myptsd is an international forum, English is not everyone's first language and even where English is a first language, abbreviations can have different common usage, so are not encouraged.
This thread really makes me nervous about therapy and therapists to be honest!
You really shouldn't work with people you are prejudiced against. That should be an ethical thing!!!
I don't care how much training you have, you cannot be trained to block out the natural instincts of your clients, and not should you be!
they will know your true feelings. Plus it's just kind of disrespectful to another human being to let them open their hearts. Souls, minds to you if you feel the way you do.
I would have hoped that studying psychology would open up people's minds. You sound like you havent had a lot of experience in the world or with different types of people
You won't be helping the people you're prejudiced about. They will feel uneasy somehow. Unheard.
It makes me feel uneasy just reading this - that a therapist may not like me just for what I represent, but will still treat me and hide his dislike as best he can.
):
I would feel that. It would just add to my paranoia and mistrust of my own instincts.
I hope you rethink this!
You really shouldn't work with people you are prejudiced against. That should be an ethical thing!!!
I don't care how much training you have, you cannot be trained to block out the natural instincts of your clients, and not should you be!
they will know your true feelings. Plus it's just kind of disrespectful to another human being to let them open their hearts. Souls, minds to you if you feel the way you do.
I would have hoped that studying psychology would open up people's minds. You sound like you havent had a lot of experience in the world or with different types of people
You won't be helping the people you're prejudiced about. They will feel uneasy somehow. Unheard.
It makes me feel uneasy just reading this - that a therapist may not like me just for what I represent, but will still treat me and hide his dislike as best he can.
):
I would feel that. It would just add to my paranoia and mistrust of my own instincts.
I hope you rethink this!
I'm sorry that's what you took away from the statement, nevermore.
I see it as a "their personal opinions won't keep them from helping me". I look at it the same way I would a doctor or an EMT-I want them to help me, and to do so to the best of their abilities. If their opinion of me doesn't stop that from happening, then I won't even consider it.
However, that also means that they are good enough that I won't know what their opinions are. Their opinions won't stop me from getting the help I need.
I have however, because of my own trauma had problems with a GP who disliked most of my family, including me. That caused a severe issue with getting help, but that was because he *couldn't* separate. If he had been able to, he would have seen I got the assistance I needed in varied cases.
It's only when someone's personal interferes that we run into real issues. When someone decides to treat you good or bad based on how nice you are to them.
It's not your job to be nice, for a therapist you need to be honest. You need to know that whatever you say is safe and no matter what, they will *always* put your needs first. So being a professional about it means you will be safe, and you don't have to be or say anything to make them like you to get the help you need. For me that's particularly comforting when dealing with therapists-since I do tend to care what people think in dependent situations (again because of my trauma), it's nice to know I don't have to play nice to get essential services.
I hope that helps you feel a little better about it, and if you are trying to keep your therapist's sentiments or opinions of you in mind during therapy-stop it. You need to be able to be as honest as you can and as clear as you can. Trying to please them so they don't dislike you only hurts the process (speaking from personal experience here :P ).
You are worthwhile and wonderful just as you are, and noone, no matter what they think should let you being you inhibit your access to essential needs. You should *never* have to worry about whether they like you. Not ever.
I see it as a "their personal opinions won't keep them from helping me". I look at it the same way I would a doctor or an EMT-I want them to help me, and to do so to the best of their abilities. If their opinion of me doesn't stop that from happening, then I won't even consider it.
However, that also means that they are good enough that I won't know what their opinions are. Their opinions won't stop me from getting the help I need.
I have however, because of my own trauma had problems with a GP who disliked most of my family, including me. That caused a severe issue with getting help, but that was because he *couldn't* separate. If he had been able to, he would have seen I got the assistance I needed in varied cases.
It's only when someone's personal interferes that we run into real issues. When someone decides to treat you good or bad based on how nice you are to them.
It's not your job to be nice, for a therapist you need to be honest. You need to know that whatever you say is safe and no matter what, they will *always* put your needs first. So being a professional about it means you will be safe, and you don't have to be or say anything to make them like you to get the help you need. For me that's particularly comforting when dealing with therapists-since I do tend to care what people think in dependent situations (again because of my trauma), it's nice to know I don't have to play nice to get essential services.
I hope that helps you feel a little better about it, and if you are trying to keep your therapist's sentiments or opinions of you in mind during therapy-stop it. You need to be able to be as honest as you can and as clear as you can. Trying to please them so they don't dislike you only hurts the process (speaking from personal experience here :P ).
You are worthwhile and wonderful just as you are, and noone, no matter what they think should let you being you inhibit your access to essential needs. You should *never* have to worry about whether they like you. Not ever.
Thanks @J'qel. I understand what you're saying. I had a bad experience with a therapist - not so much needing them to like me, but maybe needing to be able to trust.
Trust is difficult for me, and sadly I did actually get hurt in that experience, not helped.
I don't do talking therapy any more, I do art therapy. that works better for me. I don't necessarily have to tell the story.
I probably don't feel all that safe telling my story - maybe that's why the uneasiness. And I did feel judged - not for having money, but for being fhe recipient of abuse and being told that would have happened with any man because I was a pretty messed up young girl.
When I said I didn't think many men would be that cruel to a woman, she seemed shocked that I didn't blame myself.
Still makes me angry!
And her value system showed itself loud and clear - and I regretted telling my story. Felt like being raped all over again.
I guess she wasn't really a great therapist, but it put me off for life ever telling my story to a stranger again - and that was over 10 years ago!!
Clients are pretty vulnerable when they come for help. I think that should not be forgotten as it really can do damage if you haven't got your own value system worked out enough to know who you can and can't work with!
Trust is difficult for me, and sadly I did actually get hurt in that experience, not helped.
I don't do talking therapy any more, I do art therapy. that works better for me. I don't necessarily have to tell the story.
I probably don't feel all that safe telling my story - maybe that's why the uneasiness. And I did feel judged - not for having money, but for being fhe recipient of abuse and being told that would have happened with any man because I was a pretty messed up young girl.
When I said I didn't think many men would be that cruel to a woman, she seemed shocked that I didn't blame myself.
Still makes me angry!
And her value system showed itself loud and clear - and I regretted telling my story. Felt like being raped all over again.
I guess she wasn't really a great therapist, but it put me off for life ever telling my story to a stranger again - and that was over 10 years ago!!
Clients are pretty vulnerable when they come for help. I think that should not be forgotten as it really can do damage if you haven't got your own value system worked out enough to know who you can and can't work with!
Oh hon, that's terrible.
No, you didn't need that therapist and she was an awful therapist. She should have never acted that way regardless of what she may have thought or believed. The personal opinions of the therapist have no place in the office beyond diagnosis.
*internet hugs if you accept*
My earlier family doctor sent me to a psychiatrist for evaluation after I moved out of my parents' house because of my abuser's actions. I was taken to the doctor with the slightest sniffle and every time I said I was sick to get out of tests in order to bring more drama and attention to them. The doctor thought I was a hypochondriac because the family member in question was using me.
The psychiatrist told me I was, in fact "remarkably resilient" and forwarded it to the doctor. I never went back to him, and to be honest, he shouldn't have been practicing medicine after his stroke-he was never the same afterwards (sympathies to those who suffer, but strokes can do some bad things, and when your patient's lives could be on the line, you should step back if you or others think you may no longer be capable).
I have a lovely doctor now, and while I have no idea what her personal thoughts are, she's always cheerful and lovely to be around. For all I know, she hates me, but she always is pleasant and sees to trying to fix whatever is going on. *That* is what I mean by separating personal from professional. It's fine that I know she has a child and her husband is a teacher, or what her favorite kinds of clothes are, or if she's got a new conference coming up that she thinks is neat. It's not okay for her to voice her political or personal opinion on domestic arrangements, sexuality, politics or any of the rest. That stuff is meant to be left at the door to her house before she comes to work.
If your therapist had been professional, they should not have EVER treated you that way. That's why some of us very much promote being professional as a separate entity from being personal. Because things like that should NEVER happen. It doesn't matter what she thinks about her life and her ideas on men and women and the "right" way to react. What matters is how you feel and what you need in order to heal.
I'll be honest, I've been away from my last therapist because she mocked me, but it was partially my fault because I threw a number of problems as linked to something else because I was afraid to tell her the real cause. I was afraid what her suggestions of solutions might be. She still shouldn't have done it. It was entirely inappropriate, and I am now, after almost a year, looking into getting a new therapist. Someone more professional and less likely to air their personal feelings all over me (I live in a very conservative town, where miniskirts are still scandalous, so anything different often gets treated badly-so I wasn't too shocked but very betrayed and dissappointed).
I entirely get where you are and I feel much sympathy. I hope you can get what you need and you never have to deal with someone so unprofessional and selfish again. You need therapy for you, not to work out your therapist's issues for them.
No, you didn't need that therapist and she was an awful therapist. She should have never acted that way regardless of what she may have thought or believed. The personal opinions of the therapist have no place in the office beyond diagnosis.
*internet hugs if you accept*
My earlier family doctor sent me to a psychiatrist for evaluation after I moved out of my parents' house because of my abuser's actions. I was taken to the doctor with the slightest sniffle and every time I said I was sick to get out of tests in order to bring more drama and attention to them. The doctor thought I was a hypochondriac because the family member in question was using me.
The psychiatrist told me I was, in fact "remarkably resilient" and forwarded it to the doctor. I never went back to him, and to be honest, he shouldn't have been practicing medicine after his stroke-he was never the same afterwards (sympathies to those who suffer, but strokes can do some bad things, and when your patient's lives could be on the line, you should step back if you or others think you may no longer be capable).
I have a lovely doctor now, and while I have no idea what her personal thoughts are, she's always cheerful and lovely to be around. For all I know, she hates me, but she always is pleasant and sees to trying to fix whatever is going on. *That* is what I mean by separating personal from professional. It's fine that I know she has a child and her husband is a teacher, or what her favorite kinds of clothes are, or if she's got a new conference coming up that she thinks is neat. It's not okay for her to voice her political or personal opinion on domestic arrangements, sexuality, politics or any of the rest. That stuff is meant to be left at the door to her house before she comes to work.
If your therapist had been professional, they should not have EVER treated you that way. That's why some of us very much promote being professional as a separate entity from being personal. Because things like that should NEVER happen. It doesn't matter what she thinks about her life and her ideas on men and women and the "right" way to react. What matters is how you feel and what you need in order to heal.
I'll be honest, I've been away from my last therapist because she mocked me, but it was partially my fault because I threw a number of problems as linked to something else because I was afraid to tell her the real cause. I was afraid what her suggestions of solutions might be. She still shouldn't have done it. It was entirely inappropriate, and I am now, after almost a year, looking into getting a new therapist. Someone more professional and less likely to air their personal feelings all over me (I live in a very conservative town, where miniskirts are still scandalous, so anything different often gets treated badly-so I wasn't too shocked but very betrayed and dissappointed).
I entirely get where you are and I feel much sympathy. I hope you can get what you need and you never have to deal with someone so unprofessional and selfish again. You need therapy for you, not to work out your therapist's issues for them.
Leighlee87
Silver Member
I'm in that bracket of make too much for assistance, but not quite enough to make ends meet. We'd be better off if I stopped working to be completely honest. So working poor. Maybe not forever, but right now I'm not healthy enough to work full time.
I understand that. When my husband was working full time it worked out that me working full time at minimum wage would have just cancelled out the benefits we got from me staying at home.
Now that I could work and we wouldn't be paying more in, I'm in no shape to work (one of my triggers is abuse by authority figures).
Tax brackets are crazy.
(don't get me started on childcare costs)
Now that I could work and we wouldn't be paying more in, I'm in no shape to work (one of my triggers is abuse by authority figures).
Tax brackets are crazy.
(don't get me started on childcare costs)
Chitoshi
Gold Member
I'm not sure quite what social class I belong to right now. I have graduate school loans and am living with my boyfriend while I earn my higher degree so that I can work in the education system. Right now we are at the lower end of middle class, I think. I'm not sure what that means, I'm only 25 and haven't really examined the social structure, so I assume that's where I am.
I grew up flat middle class. I am the sufferer. My boyfriend, the supporter, also grew up middle class. I think social class could play a role in how I cope or my boyfriend copes with my PTSD, but I'm not sure of the detrimental implications as I've never really considered it before.
We make sure that we have enough for my medical needs (counseling, access to a doctor, etc.), and he's always made my well-being a priority (I have a massage every month because my therapist says that I need to do something for myself because we're working on self-care and how that is important, so I chose that as a thing I can have for myself). Sometimes I feel like a burden because of my needs, and I feel that I shouldn't need to go to counseling every week, or I shouldn't pamper myself when we have barely enough to put in our savings sometimes because of me.
I'm sometimes afraid to tell people that I have PTSD because I worry it will hurt my social relations or my job prospects, and other times I get so frustrated at the ignorance of people that I will tell someone in order to try and educate them, but I often regret it.
I don't know if that answers your question or helps further the discussion.
I grew up flat middle class. I am the sufferer. My boyfriend, the supporter, also grew up middle class. I think social class could play a role in how I cope or my boyfriend copes with my PTSD, but I'm not sure of the detrimental implications as I've never really considered it before.
We make sure that we have enough for my medical needs (counseling, access to a doctor, etc.), and he's always made my well-being a priority (I have a massage every month because my therapist says that I need to do something for myself because we're working on self-care and how that is important, so I chose that as a thing I can have for myself). Sometimes I feel like a burden because of my needs, and I feel that I shouldn't need to go to counseling every week, or I shouldn't pamper myself when we have barely enough to put in our savings sometimes because of me.
I'm sometimes afraid to tell people that I have PTSD because I worry it will hurt my social relations or my job prospects, and other times I get so frustrated at the ignorance of people that I will tell someone in order to try and educate them, but I often regret it.
I don't know if that answers your question or helps further the discussion.
- Status
Similar posts
Donation drives
Trending content
-
-
What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?
- goingonhope
Comments: 34K -
-
-
-
