Social Interactions

[midi]

Sorry, Grama Herc! Let me draw the focus back to the main issue, which was mentioned in the initial post:

... even over the most silly thing, but I need to learn a healthier approach... ... A chick... been cheating... ...so she started making fun of me. I got frustrated... ...By even starting a thread about it here, I'm already blowing it out of proportion. I need to develop skills to deal with people.

So, maybe next time, you can simply save your time and avoid such silly threads in the future? JMHO. :rofl: As for giving you back the time you wasted, all I can say is, it was your choice to engage with the useless thread in the first place. I can't do anything but apologize, because I can't give you back your wasted time. :dontknow:

*

I really appreciate the other responses too! I see I have lots of options--laugh, stop playing, turn the game back on her, get rid of her etc... I've realized 2 things 1. cheaters don't have integrity or maturity - some of the examples used here refer to children, and she does remind me of a child! 2. There are so many different ways that I can react to her behaviour, which shows me is also true for much more serious matters (which I also can't control).

This thread's been a good natured learning lesson and I appreciate it! Thanks for your patience. :thumbs-up

 

[Cindy]

developing better social skills ...

I get your point. I can not handle any form of confrontation. I shut down and sometimes disassociate. It is not realistic to expect I can avoid confrontation the rest of my life so ... I need to figure out some ways I can deal with it better.

I'm usually very frank and honest with people in all other aspects. I've learned in my profession when I need to de-escalate a student I need to let them rant until they have lost some steam and they can listen. I can apply innumerable practices professionally while teaching but in my personal life ... UGH! :doh:

I think when we are emotionally involved with people in friendships or relatives that is what gets in our way of thinking rationally sometimes. We don't want to act for fear it will change the status quo. We will be taking risks that we are unprepared to take. I think at some point we all have to step back and look at the pro's and con's for the risks and start to practice jumping in and responding to situations. I know I tend to just swallow and ruminate rather than sharing when I have negative emotions or thoughts. I never learned to vent these without getting abused in the past, it was harmful for me to share.

As we emerge from within ourselves and begin to share our true feelings without fear that will be cause for celebration. But as a toddler learns to walk, the trips and falls will be a bust on the way.

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

midi, I think you may be hard on yourself. Everyone feels differently about things like this. Some think she is childish, some think it's your issue, some think you can try a different method.

What it boils down to is that you don't have a problem. The situation creates a problem for you and what we do in life is solve problems. This is very common in society. Everyday people get annoyed at things that don't annoy another people.

It's an individual situation for you in your own right. You feel the way you feel and there is nothing wrong with that. You stated you don't like it so the solution on what to do about it is solely up to you.

Maybe you could make a list of pros and cons of playing scrabble with her cheating, and if there are more pros than cons that could give you your answer, and vise versa.

Good Luck
Tammy

 

[Kunoichi]

Midi,

I've read the thread and the responses. Honestly I can see alot of points. Yes, part of me wants to say "Ok its just a game and she's cheating". Yet the other side thinks, "Yes it may just be a game but its more the fact she is cheating versus the fact whether she is cheating over a game or not".

I can understand why this would be a trigger for you. I think you have a right to say, "Hold on...that is wrong of your to do!" And maybe that is why you feel so strongly about this is that it may be a trigger. i know it would be for me at least.

I would suggest talking to her, if she still wants to do things her own way then I would stop playing with her and really see if her "cheating" is ingrained in her life for other things too "such as lying to people".

Just my thoughts of course.

Kunoichi