Some Realisation On The First Day At Work...

[J_trustno1]

Please feel free to move this thread and your views on this are very much appreciated :)

It was my first day at work as you already know about it. It started of with so many self-doubts but as I went along it turned out the workload isn't that stressful and it isn't even challenging. I was told that everyone there is on contracts and their contracts are extended each time the first contract runs out. People are paid based on their education.

However, one hard fact that I found out was that I am over-qualified for this role. I was asked by a lot of people there that "what am I doing there?". When I asked that I am doing this data analyst job, they said that some of the people doing this role are school leavers and I'm actually very qualified for this job. I was told that I can use this role as a platform to get higher up in my career and not just stay at one place because I am too smart according to them. At first I was a bit a disheartened about the fact that I don't have a role which justifies my qualification and to me it is more about being recognized than what I get paid. I felt that I am doing minor role and not contributing to high level like I was with my masters degree and even in BSc(hons) and BSc years and I felt that I deserved better...

I was starting to get negative vibes that I belonged to a higher position and there were employees who actually hated that place (God knows why!) and telling me that "you don't need a brain for this kind of job". At first I was negative. Then I took my lunch break and went to the park nearby and had some private time away from all that chatter and that negative voice telling me that "this role isn't good enough". All that negativity was there until 3:45pm. Then I took a short tea-break and went away and thought about it all for another 20 mins. This is where the magic happened. I was validating myself with things like (sorry for writing too much):

Self-talk:

Listen J, you spend more than 1 year crying and dwelling on the past and dwelling on not being able to find a job. You were even ready to stand at the traffic lights asking for an admin or even receptionist job. Everyone was rejecting you from jobs without even seeing you as a person and despite you sending over 250 CVs throughout NZ. You have been taking 7 pills a day just to calm down and not feel miserable. Yes, at this time you may not have THE PERFECT job, but you STILL have A JOB and it is better than nothing. You don't have to hide away from people anymore trying to pretend that you didn't hear them when they asked "do you have a job?".

You went to interviews but they were all being anal, downgrading you because you were were over-qualified, picking each sentence from your CV and discriminating your skills, they were making you feel miserable for being that educated. You were made to do GOD knows how many psychometric tests and some of them never responded, some said you didn't reach their cut-off point in the test, some saw you for a pretend interview and sent you the same old generic email saying "we regret to inform you that you are not selected for this position...

Now that these people have accepted you and you are trying to push your luck? Learn to be thankful for what you've got. These ladies and the entire HR team welcomed you this team open-heartedly, they didn't make you do a psychometric test, they didn't even check your criminal record, they didn't even make you wait for 3-4 week like other place and some didn't even reply. They accepted you for you and they weren't even anal in the interview, the interview with them went smoothly and you had a job within less than a week from the interview, so what do you want?

Yes, I know that you want to achieve higher and you are an ambitious person who lives challenging her brain but what about last year? You had nothing to do!! Now this is place to prove your skills and it's not the ending but the beginning! So be thankful and accept this place and embrace your work for all the time you are here for 6 months.

 

[Ed Norton]

It's so wonderful to see you thinking positively. You have a lot to offer a company. I'm sure that you'll be an asset to the company.

 

[Freedomfighter]

It would be really interesting what other people thought about your concerns, because those are very common concerns. Being more than qualified for a job really really sucks. I have to work with people who could not tell their right shoe from the left one, but yet they put on such an act about their so called knowledge I just want to smack them from the time I see them until I leave the workplace.
Especially when I am already sick with PTSD the last thing I want to have to do is to deal with these embeciles. But alas, it is a paycheck, but that is all it is. There is nothing worse than having to deal with empty people, the ones that have no brain.

If there is a heaven I want my own room there too.

 

[J_trustno1]

Thanks @Ed Norton . I know it is a bit hard to not get trapped into negativity especially when you have dealt with negativity your entire life. Yes, it is sad to admit that i am working with some of the high school kids but it is still better than working a supermarket or at a restaurant. I know that I am craving for a lot more and want a high job status but Rome wasn't built over a day. I've gotta work to get to that level.

 

[Ed Norton]

You will give all you can to the job, do your best and most likely get a promotion....I'm so happy about everything going on with you.

There may be a few bumps in the road or some light turbulence, but you'll fly high. I have nothing but faith in you!

 

[J_trustno1]

Thanks @Ed Norton :hug:s. I do regret telling those unmotivated people about my future plans and ambitions. I feel guilty for telling too much about myself to people I have met on the first day (sigh!). I need to re-learn my boundaries :( plus gotta stop feeling inferior just because I don't have a higher job title.

 

[Sammyiam]

Jess, it doesn't matter if you are mopping floors who cares anything is better than sitting in your room crying. You are getting money and getting out of the house, always remember that Jess who cares what others say. I started out my work career at 10 years old par cooking chips for a fish and chip shop, the I got asked to do the counter serving and then cooking. I owned my own business at 18 and have been self employed ever since. Tell yourself over and over again it doesn't matter where you start, you just have to start. You will either get a better position there or when you have got your confidence up apply for better jobs, but instead of saying I have no job you will be able to put on your cv currently working for .......... That alone makes a huge difference. Whatever you do is don't run before you can crawl meaning just be happy as to have a job and settle in and enjoy being in the workforce. Don't over think anything just go and enjoy...... Nothing else. And remember yayayayayaya ya you have a job :):):):):):):):)

 

[J_trustno1]

Thanks @Sammyiam :hug:s. You are brilliant. Thanks for saying this Sammy, it really helps me realize the value of this job. The only regret I have is telling these negative people that I wanted to study PhD but my supervisor advised me to get work experience. I told them how I applied for so many jobs and never got anything for a year and told them that it's better than nothing.

Also told them my supervisor who finished his masters in marine biology, had to study a diploma for a year in journalism and worked as a journalist for several years till he had an offer from a contact into PhD, then another offer into Post-Doc. He kept climbing the ladder becoming a professor and now he's the HOD (head of department) for his area. Now I feel guilty for giving such people that much information about my life and about my mentor.

However, I do see him as my motivation and I look up to him because he's worked really hard to get to this point of his career and he's a down to earth and a very supportive supervisor. I have respect for him.

 

[Sammyiam]

Jess don't worry about what you have said, you cannot take that back. Just go to work and cruise along. You have so much to learn about working with others and getting along with chatter from others etc. it is a great starting point and there will be ups and downs. Trust me it won't go smoothly but that's what it's all about learning to work in a work force of people. Just think I learned that from this situation and go forth. If you make mistakes that's how you learn remember that. Don't go over and over what you cannot change just think oh well I learned that so I won't do that again. And move forward...... It's easy to say but hard to learn we all do the same Jess over think things.

Good luck for tomorrow, get lots of sleep to !!!!

 

[Sandstone]

I used to do that sort of job. It's quite a good fit for someone with PTSD. Data doesn't shape shift.
And yes, it proved to be a good start position to move on in the organisation.

I actually envy you for starting from the foundation. I applied for a second level job, but arrived at the interview to find I being considered for a higher position. I always regretted not having the firm base of knowledge and experience to build on.

 

[scout86]

I think you should have posted this under "accomplishments"! Realizing you were doing that was huge. STOPPING yourself from continuing to do it even more. If this job does no more that give you a chance to practice those kinds of skills, I think it will be worth it.

As far as telling people too much too fast? I do that, or think I do that too. My T, however, says he thinks we should be our more of our authentic selves more of the time. He's probably right. You go ahead and be you. They can like it, or not, that's up to them. YOU are just fine, whether they like it or not.

Good going! I hope things continue to good well!

 

[Nighthawk]

Well done on turning your thought process around and validationg yourself. Be proud.

The true colors of a new job never happen on the first day or even the first week in my opinion. Just embrace the growth and the fact that you are moving forward in your journey not theirs. :)