Someone Is Stepping On My Throat

[SeaQuel]

@FridayJones Thanks for the additional info, and just wanted to clarify I was in no way calling into question your expertise. My as* clownery was fully self-directed because I felt ill-prepared for the meeting. I should have found out before going there that she didn't do the clinical tests herself and just gotten the referral to a pulmonologist. I was also referring to my inarticulate drugged up self (no, I'm not user, I just happened to take too much sleeping meds the night before). I couldn't explain what you've explained in here, and she seriously, but respectfully, questioned everything I said.

I think I misheard what my doctor said about the clinical tests.... think she meant she didn't do them, because she did later tell me she could give me a referral to a pulmonologist.

Do you notice your breathing issues more connected to certain triggers, whether internal or environmental? Is it continuous or does it come and go?

@Chava thanks for sharing, it's helpful to hear about others' symptoms. No, I haven't been able to identify certain triggers, and it is not continuous, thank f*cking god.

Did she listen to your lungs?

You know what, she didn't! Now I'm annoyed. That's the least she could have done.

I wouldn't really worry about COPD unless you're a smoker.

Nope, not a smoker, thanks for clearing that one up!

Well I'm kinda putting a pause on this asthma thing, because I really don't think I have it. I agree with my therapist that this sensation is panic attacks and/or flashbacks. This is what makes the most sense to me based on my symptoms and trauma history.

 

[Chava]

You know what, she didn't! Now I'm annoyed. That's the least she could have done.

:shifty::grumpy: I'm annoyed for you. If it continues, go back. It's her own damn fault for doing less than as little as possible to reassure you. Do you feel winded? That's what I notice with asthma. I talk a little and feel out of breath, go for a regular walk and feel winded. But anyway, yes, she could have at least listened to your lungs.

My doctor is pretty good at looking things over and reassuring me. She knows I'm a bit of a head case, but seems to realize that can manifest in unusual medical ways. There is a stress component to all of my asthma and inflammatory stuff too, but mostly triggered by seasonal things. It just gets steroid-level bad if I'm also stressed. Anyway, I did have a hard time figuring out how to advocate for myself in a doctor's office. It's very hard and stressful for me...I'd go in and feel like I was just submitting to them entirely. Now I bring notes and let myself feel like a nag. They get like $500 for a twenty minute appointment. It's okay. You can go back if you still don't feel okay....it's helpful to rule things out. But keep noticing if there are any triggers or other symptoms, whether body or feeling wise...

 

[SeaQuel]

Do you feel winded?

No. Never feel winded... or wheezy...or cough-y. Used to be an athlete and have never had issues with exertion. This is all new post PTSD a year ago.

Yes, notes! Always a good thing. I don't know why I forgot this time. I should have written myself a note to write a note :)

 

[Chava]

Okay, so probably not asthma. So back to your possible PTSD connection. Does your therapist think it could be a body memory? Sounds like she's leaning towards anxiety/panic. If either of these you should start noticing some triggers. If panic, does it help to breath into a paper bag? Maybe go with the panic stuff and keep working with your therapist...ask about body memories, if that might be the case and it hasn't come up that way yet. My therapist encourages me to cough to "get it out" sometimes...but also it tells my throat that it's not stuck or trapped.

 

[SeaQuel]

Does your therapist think it could be a body memory?

Well, she thinks it may be a flashback, so I guess that means it's a body memory? But I think she acknowledges that it could be a combo of a few things including straight up panic attacks.

My therapist encourages me to cough to "get it out" sometimes...but also it tells my throat that it's not stuck or trapped.

Yea, I find myself clearing my throat a lot when this happens. It must be annoying to listen to, but I guess that's what my therapist is paid to do.

I also find the drinking water can help, but only in the very short term. Anything to open up the lungs.

 

[Born to Run]

The comment about COPD got me thinking about Chinese medicine in which grief is the emotion of the lungs. Maybe a reason to be linked to ptsd. Personally, I also had a period of allergy, allergy induced pneumonia and asthma.
http://www.chinesemedicineliving.com/blog/philosophy/the-emotions/grief-the-lungs/

Another article I really liked as it describes the function of the lungs in a very complete way. Like "lungs as setting the boundary between the outer- and the inner world", which resonates with me as a clear ptsd issue.
http://www.meridianpress.net/articles/thelung-chinesemedicine.html

Maybe it is helpful to read, it gives no real practical solution though.