It's bonfire night tonight, celebrating the prevention of a catholic-protestant bombing of parliament hundreds of years ago. The last time I went was with my abusive ex, and It's been 364 days since we . I had to build up courage to go, but I'm glad I did now. When I got in there, there was so many people, I was so paranoid that someone was watching me or someone wanted to hurt me. I started having a panic attack and I felt like I couldn't breath, I was struggling to move without shaking as if I had hypothermia. This girl came up to me and asked if I was okay and helped me, I asked her why she was being so nice and she asked me why I don't expect kindness. We met up after the bonfire and fireworks and I went to her house for an hour. Not much happened, we held hands and hugged but she was so nice to me, I'm not used to relationships with people who are nice. She gave me her number when I went home and I'm thinking on it a lot. Should I just avoid it and keep to myself as normal or contact her at some point to meet up again? (P.S. I suck at socialising so I'm asking you)
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- Post starter LilSam
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GrayOwl
Gold Member
Hi LilSam,
Make I make some observations and suggestions?
Your post infers that you suck at socializing and also that you're not completely happy with that. I think that might provide some indication of an answer?
You're not used to relationships with people that are nice, you say. Here, I relate so well. But.....who said anything about a relationship? She only gave you her phone number. How about just starting with a friendship? Or even some more basic communication. (Having a good understanding and inventory of your mind and relationship status and hopes and intentions is a good foundation for not entering in to those "not so nice" relationships.) Perhaps you could just phone her and (simple, basic) tell her you appreciate her kindness and thoughtfulness and you enjoyed your time with her. This doesn't put expectations on either of you. This way she has your phone number; you have hers and were given a reason to call her. A couple other simple topics might come up as well. Maybe you could suggest meet for coffee or a sandwich?
Life is complicated enough. Enjoy the fact that you have been befriended by what seems to be a quality person. Pursue the friendship and not the relationship. You both may gain from that.
I know it's difficult, but try not to analyze and project. All those what if's?, could I's?, does she?....etc. etc. just clutter the landscape. Seriously. Don't analyze this to death. Refocus. Keep the mind from going there especially if you have the opportunity to spend time with her. Enjoy the moment and be a quality person the type of which you would appreciate being with, and things will most likely work out well - and the way they are supposed to.
PM me anytime if you want.
I think you have a rare opportunity here. I wouldn't pass it up. Don't be hard on yourself either. You sound like a sensitive, good guy. Good luck with things.
Glad you met somebody nice. It's nice to hear they're out there.
Make I make some observations and suggestions?
Your post infers that you suck at socializing and also that you're not completely happy with that. I think that might provide some indication of an answer?
You're not used to relationships with people that are nice, you say. Here, I relate so well. But.....who said anything about a relationship? She only gave you her phone number. How about just starting with a friendship? Or even some more basic communication. (Having a good understanding and inventory of your mind and relationship status and hopes and intentions is a good foundation for not entering in to those "not so nice" relationships.) Perhaps you could just phone her and (simple, basic) tell her you appreciate her kindness and thoughtfulness and you enjoyed your time with her. This doesn't put expectations on either of you. This way she has your phone number; you have hers and were given a reason to call her. A couple other simple topics might come up as well. Maybe you could suggest meet for coffee or a sandwich?
Life is complicated enough. Enjoy the fact that you have been befriended by what seems to be a quality person. Pursue the friendship and not the relationship. You both may gain from that.
I know it's difficult, but try not to analyze and project. All those what if's?, could I's?, does she?....etc. etc. just clutter the landscape. Seriously. Don't analyze this to death. Refocus. Keep the mind from going there especially if you have the opportunity to spend time with her. Enjoy the moment and be a quality person the type of which you would appreciate being with, and things will most likely work out well - and the way they are supposed to.
PM me anytime if you want.
I think you have a rare opportunity here. I wouldn't pass it up. Don't be hard on yourself either. You sound like a sensitive, good guy. Good luck with things.
Glad you met somebody nice. It's nice to hear they're out there.
EveHarrington
VIP Member
Yeah, call-------er Uhm text her. Lol nobody calls anymore right?
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