Sometime Suffering Is Not An Avoidable Option - But Healing Is Possible

[beatle_bailey]

I never had the opsion of this forum years ago ,,,, hance with no help from the Military ,, {I got a bad conduct discharge } and at that point all sotrs of trama had already happened ,, My drinking and druging was a good way to num the pain ,,lots more happened to add to the pile of trama I would end up having to deal with ,,, ,,, ,,, well I finally got away from all the drinking and drugs ,,, I personlly desided never to take antidepresents ,, ,, may or maybe not a good Idea but it was mine to make ,, ,, ,, I figured I finally had to deal with every fealing I had nummed all those years from the past ,, ,, ,, some were very hard and left me in some very bad condisions ,, but I had a few good people around me that helped me through the ruffest times ,, ,, ,, I was lucky in finding some very good people in the strangest places ,, ,, ,, I still find some very good people in places I would not expect ,, ,, only one from this forum has shone me true consern ,, ,, she has been a friend for many years ,, ,, for some reason people some time find me politcally incorect ,, ,, to those people I want to apoligize ,, ,, ,, but I have always said whaT WAS OR MY MIND ,, ,, ,, ,, I have great conpasion for people who have gone through thing that have caused them so much pain and found they have PDST ,, ,, ,,
and I never ment to cause them more pain by relating my expiereance in the same subject ,, ,, ,, but I know some in this forum have blocked me from contacting them at all ,, ,, ,, for that I am sorry ,, ,, ,, but still I have never even gotten an explination as to how I hurt or triggered there feeling ,, ,, ,, and I guess they don't even owe me a reason ,, ,, ,, I can understand that ,, I guess,, ,, ,, but i have bin offened by many subjects on this forum myself,, ,, and for that reason alone would not join in on some of the subjects ,, ,, ,, some time I think political incorectnerss really sucks
,,, ,,, ,,, I don't even know why I am posting this tonight ,, ,, ,, except I read one post on healing on the forum tonight and was glad to read it ,, ,,
,,, you see I will find healing one way or another weather it is hear or not ,, ,, ,, ,, you see I have a very beautiful Daughter who just got engaged to be Married And this child has seen me at my worst and witnest all the healing that has happened over the years way before I ever found this site ,, ,, ,,, she trusts me in so many ways ,, it is unbelievable ,, ,, I never had a manual ,, I told her what live is ,, good and bad ,, how to look not down at no one ,, and how to give a chace to any one ,, even the bum in the gutter ,,, cause that just by chance could have been her farther ,, ,, ,, ,, I guess the whole point to this is ,, I have felt all of my past pain and will go to the grave with no secrets ,, I have revealed every thing to God and another human being ,,, I hurt no one on purpose today ,,
and help who I can ,, ,, Have you done any thing to help some one today ,,
,, ,, then the real trick is to tell no one what you have done ,, ,, because you don't need a pat or an at a boy for doing something that every one should be doing in the world ,, ,, It would be a much better place to live if we all praticed that once a day ,,, ,,, ,,, ,,, Beatle Bailey ,,,

PS,, I will never respond to { your thoughts on the irac war } because I would be very politically incorrect ,, even about BUSH ,,, end of subject ,,,

One proud American Airborne Ranger

 

[slhlilbit]

hello BB,
I am a vet. i respect what you have had to endure. I thank you for your service to our country. I am so sorry you had to go through so much and pray that the VA will help you. You know that they have compansation? they offer counceling, the DAV helped me and i know i didnot have to go through near as much as you. what happened to me was very different from your experiance. never the less it reuned me. I too turned to drugs and alcohol and stoped when i saw what it was doing to me and my family. And yes you have a right to the way you think and feel. Congrat,on your daughters engagment. Hang in there as you are a hero. God bless you and yours.

slhlilbit:occasion:

 

[beatle_bailey]

thanks Slhlilbit for the kind words ,,, years ago I tried to get my discharge changed ,, but nothing went right ,, I have gotten on pretty well with out the military's help ,,, well so to speak ,,, thirty years of 75% disability is kind of tempting I must say ,, but I really don't care any more ,,,, about the only thing I would like is to have my name put on the plack at the American legion with my farthers in my home town ,, but most of those that go there matter little to me today ,, ,,

If you like PM me and we can talk Beatle:walking:

 

[Marilyn_S]

((((((beatle bailey)))))

What ever your DC papers may say, don't give a hoot! You are a hero to me! You are a strong person to have been through what you have and able to say, you are free and sober. Even if ya weren't, you have my admiration. No one made you be a soldier, airborne ranger, person. You freely agreed to be there for us and I think it stinks that "they", meaning whoever makes those decisions, did not understand your humanity and your needs as an individual to be supported and detraumatized!!!!!!!!! Oh! Don't worry about political correctness with me! In my (oppinion) you guys should have a say in the white house instead of the numb nuts in charge right now!!!!!!!!!!!
Hang in there! You can PM this old Missouri Mule anytime. My hubbie is on the forum too, He's Waynes. He doesn't have a lot of time right now thanks to me being unemployed. But he cares alot and thinks very highly of military folks.
Take Care BB,
Marilyn

 

[beatle_bailey]

Im probably wrong but I think Tomas Jefferson said it's a good thing to have a revolution every once in a while ,,, it would at least get the old curropt politishen out and some honest one in office ,,,

thanks marilyn for the kind words , ,,, ,,, ,, Beatle

 

[lrs]

BB - I am very proud of you, and I want to personally thank you for your service and sacrifice to our country.
I generally don't get into political discussions. I can assure, in no uncertain terms, would I meet any criteria, for being "politically correct". You are welcome to PM me at any time.
Best Wishes

 

[beatle_bailey]

Irs ,,, thats kinda A funny choise of a screen name ,,, unless it it your inishels to your name ,, Another fun fact about that would was that I got sober on tax day in 1991 ,, then was dissabled and never had to pay any more taxes anyway ,,,

some times I should not respond when I get emotional ,, ,, ,,,but them I say let the people get to know me in all condistions ,, ,, ,, I'm fighting threw tears as I whrite ,,, ,,, you see when you say you are proud of me ,,,, I really do apreciate the complment ,, ,, ,, But I was only doing what I thought was the right thing to do ,, , when others were running to Canada and dudging the draft I joined ,, because other Americans were dieing for what we thought was right ,,,

some time my heart is so fragle and hurts so bad cause must of this world cares nothing about there fellow humans,,, ,,, I aploud Bill Gates for giveing away billions to help AIDS victoms around the world ,, ,, ,,,, I am a long term serviver of AIDS and HEP C ,, and am some how still getting around fairly well even thu I have bin brusted up so badly ,, ,, ,,, then there is this PTSD and depression shit we have to deal with ,,,

I have lived along now for the last 7yrs ,, and probably should not ,, but still must people are such piss Ants ,,I don't know if I could live with any one ,,,, ,, ,, the last couple of times I had a woman in me live was a beautiful thing ,,, One even loved the out doors as much as I did ,,, we had a grand time till alcohol an drugs ripped her out of my live ,, ,, ,, love hurts the most and it is what we need the most ,, ,, ,, I have to stop ,, sorry this is getting to painful ,,, I was going to PM you this IRS ,, ,,, but just desided to post it insted ,,, I will PM you another time ,,,, ,,,thanks again Beatle

 

[lrs]

BB, my initals are LRS, not IRS, as in infernal revenue service.
By the way my sobriety date is 2/22/2, as near and as honest as we can determine. That last go round was a doosey. So I celebrated 5 years last month. I got my 5 year AA chip with me.
You may have seen previous posts where I described why I think PTSD is curable.
BUT, I still consider myself a recovering alcoholic AND drug addict. I DO NOT want to ever go back there.

 

[beatle_bailey]

Spring fever is hitting me ,,, thats a good thing ,,,,, The rivers are almost thawed out ,,, with in days I will go kayaking for the first time of the new year ,, ,, , ,, It is very quiet this time of the year ,, because there will be no one else on the river ,, ,, its to cold for all the wimps ,, but the wild life will be exciled and active for spring ,, ,,,,, this will have a great efect on my mind ,,,, ,,, ,,,

:walking: :smoking: Beatle Bailey

 

[lrs]

I hear you. I have a 3-day weekend coming up. I'm going surf fishing for sharks and redfish on the upper Texas coast. Life is pretty good.