Sometimes, I don't post.

[HannaD]

Sometimes, I write out posts and read them a few times as I edit them. Then I think to myself, "Now, don't you feel better?" as I delete them never to be posted.
I think it's similar to writing a letter and never sending it. It used to frustrate me as I felt I needed to express myself but couldn't. So, I decided to make the decision when writing to delete them rather than get frustrated with myself.
Now, I practice this more often and it does seem to help in some ways.
Anyone else do this or similar? Does it help you too? Theories on why this is helpful?
It strikes me as strange that something so frustrating turned out to be a useful and helpful tool in the end. Maybe, funny even.

 

[Ronin]

For sure.

It's a good practice on complicated topics and even going there in thoughts.

 

[Justmehere]

There is a mindfulness technique to write down thoughts on paper and then tear them up to help your brain let them go. What you are doing seems a lot like that.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I do it too. Half the stuff I write never sees the forum. I have trouble saying what I'm thinking sometimes.

 

[mamachick]

I do kind of the same in journaling. I don't tear it up but also dont go back and read. It just helps me feel, articulate, challenge thoughts/beliefs, and then think clearer. I call it my FACT journal. The answers are within me and it helps me decipher things.

 

[Invisible Fire]

Yes I do this also. I type a long post and delete it. I will even edit it and preview it then delete.

 

[Warrior Chicken]

I also do this....yet again, the forum lets us know “we’re not alone”
thanks!

 

[joeylittle]

I do it all the time.

 

[HannaD]

? I'm glad to see so many others that do this. Thanks, you guys. I'll keep practicing.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I write out posts a lot and not post them. Its not really that I feel better, though. Its more of disordered thinking that no one would care. Somehow I have convinced myself that everything under the sun belongs in my diary and not it's own thread Even when I need input. And its more of being sort of scared of posting that for whatever reason I am wound up in.

So, yes I do, do this but for different reasons.

 

[Resilientbibliophile]

If it helps, there is a legacy of those who've established a habit of penning letters never to be mailed. The practice of organizing ones thoughts concerning material difficult to communicate or so touchy that a relationship might not strictly recover if sent in 'full strength', but personally validated for having been set to word and soon set aside is an important one. Winston Churchill was in the practice of doing this.

What I speak of isn't strictly erasing content and risking unwanted exposure, but in a sense scribbling necessary content and not strictly sharing it has value too. Further, penning complicated thoughts usually entails rewrite after rewrite, although this is hardly a bad thing for the process itself reflects back the complexity of our lives, our respective efforts to untangle what we must. At least if a draft is saved one needn't start from scratch again given the impulse to commit material to paper or computer sensitive material may not be experienced everyday. Call it journaling taken to another level...

I find that with application I creep up to materials and topics that initially overwhelm. Words hardly flow freely, and clarity is difficult to come by. I imagine it's a sharp reminder that some conception of growth or maturity is hard won, although hesitant steps consistent with scribbling material and erasing it - even again and again is all part of it.

It's happened too that someone will respond to a post here unfavorably or critically in a way that overwhelms, while I'll have to remind myself that others are each and in their own way in the thrall of legacies partially sensed and less often understood. Surely a certain space or distance must be afforded, restraint demonstrated even when difficult; i.e. most of us have boundary issues and will act out if threatened. In sum, there will be times when this or other message boards is the place to share what unsettles, but recognize too that there are times when it isn't and that the confidence of an individual therapist in the privacy of an office suits us best.