Sufferer Sometimes Life Is Just Hard

[Lil Worm]

Sometimes life is just hard, it's cruel and relentless. It's at these moments we have the option to the fight and never give up or to quit and allow that world to harden us and turn us into people we are not, life kicks you down so hard that it's hard to put a smile on your face, to face the world.
Feeling so turn down and struggling with PTSD making this struggle even more difficult for me and puts me into a very sad place. Leaving me emotionally numb, full of anxiety, depressed, worried, frozen and unable to function, can't pick up the phone.
Over the last 13 years of struggling with PTSD I have spent a majority of that time brushing my condition under the rug and trying to suppress it, embarrassed that I can't over come it and not even understanding what was happening to me.
I can no longer live like this. Today I want openly share to those who care about me that I suffer daily from PTSD. I have reoccurring nightmares, I have moments I will awake from my sleep screaming thinking I'm going to be put under surgery. I have flashbacks of the horrible things that where done to me that I had no control of.. I have moments I break because my body doesn't want to work the same anymore. I have. Moments where I can't physically walk. Times when the fear of knowing that I can not do the same as others and that am not like everyone else leaves me scared and voiceless. I could use some coping technics.

 

[DissociativeJunkie]

Something I found helpful, when anxious, is to imagine a stop sign and telling those thoughts STOP. Early, before they spiral out of control. This is something my therapist taught me. She also imparted her personal term of "stinkin' thinkin'". Whenever my thoughts start to spiral toward negativity and anxiety, I try to tell myself "I'm stinkin' thinkin'." Which helps break it up because it sounds so silly and makes me crack a smile. That's what she tells her 3 year old. Humor and laughter tend to dispel anxiety, so if you can think of something humorous try that. My boss gave me a coping technique to use at work, where I think of something that puts me in a happy place or brings me comfort. I write it on my hand so that when I start to spiral, I have a visual reminder.

It's all about regaining control of your emotions. And while it's hard, its doable. You just need to tell yourself you are in control and really believe it. Use skills to help you feel confident. I've suffered from severe anxiety my whole life, and I'm just learning how to cope so that I can function. I don't know if you're in therapy, but this is definitely something to bring up to your therapist. I will be doing that at my next session, to get more ideas. I need all the help I can get.

This is all the advice I have right now. I'm just starting the recovery process...just diagnosed on Monday. But we can walk this road together, okay? My anxiety gets extremely intense as well. Depression has almost gotten me hospitalized. I'm on the high alert list at my clinic for suicidal ideation and because of a past attempt. It isn't easy. And life can be very cruel and relentless. But also try to see the good in life. The more positively you can think, the better and happier you will be. :)

 

[intothelight]

@Lil Worm Welcome to the forum! :)

One of the good things about this forum is being among people who really "get it". There are so many posts and threads on symptom management, take the time to search the ones you are struggling with and I am sure you will find many options. Also, reach out to the other members for feedback and support.