General Son ptsd and therapy

[Momhere]

My son has ptsd from many things not military related. He has been undergoing ebt therapy for awhile now. The problem I have is he g gets triggered then unleashes on me about the past. He says it helps him process but man it really hurts and all I feel is shame. I am an alcoholic but been in recovery for over ten years and I know life during my active days were horrible for him. After 2 years of sobriety my husband died in front of my son. He was 20 at the time and Itwas a massive medical event nothing could have saved him. But he still blames himself. All that being said how do I deal with this. He has made huge progress and I know it will be a life long thing. I am trying desperately to not be reactive and not play the victim, any help would be appreciated

 

[Sweetpea76]

No matter what your past issues are, it's not going to do any good to be his emotional punching bag. That's not a healthy dynamic.

Have you guys done any family counseling?

 

[Momhere]

No we have not and he does not think he wants that right now. Too much at one time I guess but I wont give up on that. I know the dynamic isn’t right at all. Thanks!

 

[EveHarrington]

Set boundaries. Walk away. Let him know you are willing to discuss it in therapy but not while he is triggered.

 

[Mach123]

My experience has shown me you usually can't co habitate with your grown children and if there is mental emotional instability even more so. The help he needs he's never going to get from you. You can't change the past and what happened. All my kids were much better when they got away from us. It's just natural when they get around us they are little kids again. They become helpless. I have the last one hanging around now hopefully not for much longer. Once they get on their own no matter how bad that is it makes them better, they get stronger. Sorry you have this going on. Good luck. Nothing easy about being a parent.

 

[Momhere]

Thank you for the replies and they are helpful. Just to clarify he is 30, married and has children and he doesn’t live with me. He has a good job hard worker etc. Yikes that would really be bad with any of my grown kids lived with us. But he is close by and I do try to give space! Thanks again