I am a bit the same, re occult connections and my upbringing was not the same, more "hippy" with overtones of occultism and leftism via my mother and the ephebophile who ensnared me for many years. I look at mainstream media/movies/music and such and cringe in revulsion and I reject so much of it.
I think nuance is ok though. Many Christians, for instance, denounce astrology, but when you read the bible, astrology is critical to the Christ birth story. Other people throw out Christianity because of abuse within the churches and institutions. That's anyone's prerogative and yet, eventually, we can move beyond blanket judgements and realise there are "evil" (loaded term, I know, but I stick by it) people within every culture and sub culture and it's more the intent and actions of individuals that counts, rather than any and everything that reminds us of the abuse.
Having said that satanism is a real thing and I disavow anything to do with any of it.
It's a deep rabbit hole.
I recite the Lord's Prayer every day and I find it very comforting, but I'm too scared to attend church as I don't feel comfortable with anything remotely culty.
I used to be very into "new ageism" but upon learning of the Satanist/Luciferian connection, I am now very critical of much of it, but again, it's not blanket judgement, but I do tend to err on the side of what's biblically aligned, without being any kind of "fanatical" self righteous Christian.
Healing is a long winded process.
And it's up to you what you reject and what you align with.
I live in a drug infested "hippy" community and because I had a life of abuse with it, I reject most of what that is, but I can't disentangle from all of it, just the values and premises, and well, most everything but the nature connection and my eclectic taste in clothing, just like how I detest immoral media and I see evidence of, for instance, a lot of hollywood and big name musical artists show off a lot of occult/Satanic symbolism, and themes. Yuck. So vile. I can't watch hollywood anymore, for the most part, nor listen to popular music or music videos.
So I get it, I really do.
Best wishes and sending prayers and well.wishes for your healing
@Gentle Blue Sea