Starting New Job This Week!! Eek!!

[Vee Lagrome]

So, I have just gotten a new job that I'm starting on Thursday. It's a part-time job, and actually, it's an internship. The company is basically hiring an intern and after a few months, if everything works out I'll be hired full time. It's kind of a different job and when I went in for the interview, I saw a NERF gun sitting out in the lobby :roflmao:

I realized when I walked in that I'm still not quite at a good point just from my last job. I was bullied on a daily basis, told that I couldn't do the job because I'm white and white people just can't do law enforcement because they don't "get" the offender population (I was the only white employee on my team - I was fine with this, my supervisor made it clear that she was NOT). Granted, I was damned good at my job and I knew that, but every time I was praised by the branch chief (who was white) my supervisor (who was black) would redouble her efforts to make my life more miserable. So, walking into an office setting makes me immediately start to panic and I have flashbacks of being screamed at, threatened, and humiliated by my supervisor.

I'm nervous because I'll be one of two female employees. It's not that I don't want to work with men or anything like that, but since my last horrible experience, I'm really afraid to stand out in any superficial way when it comes to work. I'm always so paranoid that I'll be fired or I'll lose my job if I make a mistake, but now I'm always looking at the people who work in the office (if they're white/black/etc and male/female and over 40/under 40) because now I'm terrified that I'll get the boot for being different. I am currently filing a lawsuit against my last employer, but it's a very long process and even though I know that I will win (I have so much irrefutable evidence that it's just ridiculous), I just don't want to go through this again.

How do you cope with the workplace? What should I do? This mindset I have is unhealthy and I want to start working on this so that I will be great at this job.

 

[Heather]

Wow - I'm sooo sorry that happened to you Vee. Why do people have to be like that? Idk.

Stay strong. Act with integrity. Do your best. Smile. And leave the rest to God.

That's my advice. You go Girl!

Good luck.:)

Love and Lots and lots of hugs. Heather.

Oh, and I KNOW YOU WILL DO GREAT!

 

[Nicolette]

Don't have any advice Vee Lagrome but wishing you the very best.

 

[anni]

Hi Vee,

This made an impression on me only because I can't tell you how many, many times I've walked into a similar situation, just dreading the stuffing out of it for the same reason. There will have been some previous, awful 'proof' that of course whatever it is will be the exact same scenario as the last one was. I also can't tell you how many times I've reflected that evening that 'Ohhhhhh, huh. That was really rather nice'. Pretty much none of them were the same, despite expectations and I'd been PTSDing myself into the negativity loop needlessly. I still do it, of course, am still sitting with my husband in the evening saying 'Ohhhh, huh'. Yes, the set-up is there in your field perhaps for this to happen in your case, but will say I can honestly think of 3 instances in my life I can say the same just in the last few months.

I know this probably won't make a dent in what is replaying in your head, except in possibly knowing others do this. Also maybe it could give you some thought that the situation there really will be a much more positive one, or at least one where the ghosts of your past job do not exist.

Much good wishes to you with this. Please excuse if this was zero help-I do just do this 'expectations' thing on a very regular basis. I don't mean to sound like Pollyana or overly optimistic, it's just that every, single time the PTSD loop has been proven incorrect, that's all.

Do take care,

Anni

 

[Vee Lagrome]

Wow - I'm sooo sorry that happened to you Vee. Why do people have to be like that? Idk.

Thanks for all the hugs :)

It really is amazing that people are still talking about race/gender/whatever and openly discriminating like that (IN WRITING, even!) and openly harassing and bullying employees (ALSO in writing)! I mean, if you think about it, it's 2011, why are people still acting this way? I don't get it. I just have to keep in mind that my last job was just the weird one and that NORMAL people don't act that way, it just is hard sometimes to remember that.

I know this probably won't make a dent in what is replaying in your head, except in possibly knowing others do this. Also maybe it could give you some thought that the situation there really will be a much more positive one, or at least one where the ghosts of your past job do not exist.

You're right. When I get to thinking about what happened at my last job, it gets bigger and then suddenly everyone becomes a bully just waiting for the chance. I just have to remember that most people don't do that stuff. It's really hard to stay positive, but I have to find a way to do it.

Thank you for your kind words. :)

 

[anni]

It's terribly frustrating to know it IS 2011 and so much is still in such an archaic state of affairs, isn't it? I remember one job where I could have been fired for just plain not being capable of working night shift through having 2 small children at home as a single mother I was told well, in Pennsylvania they can fire you if they don't like the color of your hair.It's where the demise of the unions has been really unfortunate but that's another thread. :) It seems that nicely, there seem to be many, many work places which maintain a good atmosphere through somehow just having nice people there who do not abuse their positions. It's hard to trust there will be one of these going in, I'm sure, with the last one so horrific.

I never get unkindness either, or bullying, no matter how many times it gets explained to me. With it being more the exception ( through people's inclincation, not, Heaven knows. through regulating ) than the rule I do hope you'll find a pleasant transition ahead, Vee. Much best wishes for this!

 

[Jestadud]

Just remember everyone gets nervous starting a new job so it's not just you.

If I have one bit of advice it would be to be wary of the first person coming over to be your new best friend as this is usually the one who wants to get all the gossip on the new bod to spread around. I don't think there is any harm in being a little reserved until you can work out whose who and what's what.

Hope all works out well for you. :tup: