Still Scared

[Bookoffee]

I wrote a few days ago or maybe last week, that I was scared of a co-worker here at work. I couldn't stay at work yesterday because the sound of her voice was scaring me enough to throw me into a panic attack. I can't afford to miss anymore time but I am already in tears over her coming in.

I may need this board today to help keep me in check with reality.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I can understand that. Thankfully I don't have any co-workers that are like that right now, but I have in the past. I can't remember if you've mentioned, has this co-worker actually done something that has scared you or is this a case of the co-worker just reminding you of the past by her mannerisms and voice? I can check in this morning as my teaching load is really quite light this morning. Breathe and remind yourself that today is not the same as the past (recent past with the co-worker or long time past).

 

[Bookoffee]

She became upset with on Monday and yelled at me for giving her referrals to work on. She slammed the paperwork down and yelled at me that she had to go for a walk. I think it is a trigger of both recent and past. Every time the door opens to my office, I fear it is her. I am scared that she will trap me. I am trying to remember the saying "that was then, this is now" but her temper tantrum scared me so much that I am having a hard time remembering events, and how to do my work properly.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I remember you writing that now. It's been a bit of a hazy week for me. If it happens again, is there someone you can talk to about it. Even if she's upset with you, she doesn't have the right to yell at you. I hope things go okay though. Do you have things to keep your mind occupied so you won't play the fear over and over again in your mind?

 

[Bookoffee]

Another co-worker asked me if I was ok. I told her I was scared to give mean co-worker work now, so my co-worker said to give it to her and she will bring it to mean co-worker. I guess I reported it to my boss yesterday before I left work and they had a talk with Human Resources. So I am feeling better now. There is a plan in place and I have my music on from http://www.calm.com/

My boss is at another location but Human Resource is in my building so if she verbally or physically attacks me again, I know I can go to the person that it was reported to.

I keep going over our plan in my mind to stay calm.

I hope you are doing well.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Good for you. It sounds like you are handling this well even if you are still scared. You've taken steps to protect yourself and get support. I am glad you have music. I use my iPod a lot at work when I don't have students. It's been helping keep my mind from wandering into dark places.