Stop Asking Me If I'm Losing Weight.

[seekingstability]

Anyone else feel incredibly vulnerable/exposed when asked this?

I had a baby 8 months ago and am about 15kg's less than my pre pregnancy weight. Not because I'm trying to be skinny - because I'm breastfeeding and my diet had to change because of my baby's sensitivities which means I'm strictly no dairy/grains or sugar - pretty much a Paleo approach.

In 8 months I've lost close to 35kgs and for someone who's 5'2 - I get that it's a lot.

The past 2 months though - I haven't lost weight but my therapist keeps commenting and it makes me feel SO Uncomfortable. I've had conversations before about my family commenting on my weight and how it's made me want to scream 'It's not an invitation'. She stopped commenting for a while but just last night again asked me.

When my friends ask me, I'm honest and almost feel proud - I've worked hard. I've made sacrifices. I've been the awkward person taking Tupperware containers to italian restaurants just to spend time with my friends and not become a hermit.

Why is it different for my therapist? Perhaps transference? If my mum asked me I would feel defensive, almost angry and want to yell at her to stop pressuring me (I know, crazy, but she's a health freak and always pushes her lifestyle on us).

I don't know - anyone else feel the same?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Are you within the healthy weight range for your height? If so, tell your therapist, then tell her that the medical world says you are of a healthy weight and to drop it.

Maybe since its from your therapist, you're defensive because she has the power to tell you that you have an eating disorder?

 

[seekingstability]

Are you within the healthy weight range for your height?

VERY good point - thanks so much - I didn't even think about this but yes, I am very anti-label and have historically been diagnosed with an ED that I worked really hard to kick.

Yes, I am in the healthy range according to BMI. At the higher end actually.

 

[jaccat]

Make it clear to her how much of an issue it is. I get it now and again because I am slim- I'm perfectly healthy but still it seems to make people jealous/concerned/curious. I hate it because I nearly died from malnutrition when I was a child, and had years of people trying to force me to eat to gain weight. I get a desperate urge to say to them 'you have no idea how much it has cost me to get to this weight! Being overweight isn't the only issue!' But then, they wouldn't get it. So generally I pretend I don't mind. One day I'll probably snap, but until then...

 

[ms spock]

I actually lost so much weight that I was on the way to organ failure - and when people asked me I was annoyed by it. I had been overweight so to get down to a normal was quite a change - but then it went too far - so I have no idea of what to say to people in this situation.

 

[ihateusernames]

Nobody has ever told me I was too skinny, but I understand where you're coming from. I can't stand when certain people make comments about my weight one way or the other. Particularly my grandmother. I get mad when she comments that I have lost weight just the same as when she comments that she thinks I should- like it's her damn business or like I'm not far more aware of how much I weigh than she is. It sounds like a judgment in either direction (because coming from her, it is.) It makes me want to punch her. She's an old lady. I shouldn't be thinking about punching her...