Relationship Stopped Contact After A Month. Help?

[Ccspec]

i recently started dating a guy who has ptsd and after a month of talking everyday and hanging out, getting really close and expressing true emotional bound that was forming he just stopped, cold turkey, no response. One day it was good babe sleep well and the next nothing complete shut off. Ive sent messages , but im not sure what to say or do. I like him so much, im willing to try and help and understand, have done alot of research, and expressed my concern. Help

 

[Lucycat]

Sorry I can't help. If he does not want help then you can't.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think that you should focus on yourself. It is a common story.....sufferer gets close to someone, its VERY intense, and then *poof*.....silence. I've done it more times than I care to admit. You'll find other similar stories from other supporters who have gone through the same thing. Unfortunately there's not much you can do unless he establishes contact with you again. Maybe he thought he was ready to be close to someone and then he realized it was all too much for him. (I think this is common as we all want that human connection, but it is so very overwhelming for us at the same time.)

 

[Sweetpea76]

There really isn't anything you can do... it sucks, it's confusing, and it feels like there is no closure at all. I'm sorry you are going through this.

 

[Ccspec]

Thank you guys very much. Yes there isn't closure, and I guess I will have to wait and see. Should I continue to message and offer support and concern, or just back off?

 

[intothelight]

@Ccspec You need to do what is best for you. You are a month into this relationship and already is it causing you pain. The problem is that with PTSD there is no guarantee that you won't experience additional pain, frustration, loneliness, etc. when symptoms flair. You need to decide if it the relationship is worth waiting for and navigating the ups and downs or to cut your losses and move on.

 

[Ccspec]

I know but it's hard I care so much already. I feel like I want to try . Do I back off or continue to let him know I'm here?

 

[Sweetpea76]

If he isn't responding to your messages, and it has been awhile, then I would just send him one more "I am here when you need me" text, and let it go. No matter how many times you message him, and no matter what you do, if he doesn't want to communicate with you, he isn't going to. In fact when a sufferer is isolating, repeated attempts at communication can cause them to withdraw more.

Sometimes you just have to let go. He may be isolating for a short period of time, or he could be done with the relationship. A lot of people, even without PTSD, just stop communicating instead of breaking up to avoid confrontation. You just cannot know what is going on. The only thing you can do is pick yourself up and dust yourself off, and get on with life. If he contacts you, he contacts you. If not, then at least you have started the healing process.

 

[Ccspec]

Wow that's a tough pill to swallow, but you are right specially given the fact that he just blocked my number. Thank you all for the help.

 

[Jessica2744]

Hi there!
I've similar situation now. I thought my man was different. Don't know anymore..
Is that all? I saw you were here three days ago. Have you got response from him?

Sorry If I bother you.

 

[technigirl]

This happened to me with my ex-friend. One day, he just acted like a jerk then cut off contact with no explanation, and that was following a period of rather intense contact when I stayed at his home for a week. That was over 2 months ago. I'll admit it was hard at first, but I've come to realize he actually did me a favor. I no longer consider us friends and I have let it go, but it took me some time, because it's never easy to let go when there's no closure or explanation. We had been friends for almost a year and he added a lot of drama to my life that I just don't need. When people have mental health issues such as PTSD (and my friend had that + a healthy dose of narcissism), it makes for a rocky relationship of any type if they are not getting treatment and unwilling to help themselves. The friendship only lasted a year, but had more ups and downs than friendships I've had for 30 years. With this guy of yours, it's only been a month, and you're already questioning the relationship. If the honeymoon was over that fast, just think how awful this has the potential to get. I agree with @Sweetpea76, you just don't know, and in this case you haven't wasted a lot of your time yet. Best to just move on, send him an email to let him know you're there and you still care if you want to, but then let it go.

 

[Ccspec]

I've let go, although I think about him and still miss him. It's been over 2 months and he has not made any kind of contact what so ever. I've started dating again but I haven't been able to fully open my self up and trust again since that.... I still can't believe it, almost feels like a dream now, like it never happened.