Strange Star

[shimmerz]

Still here Hope. Thinking of you.....:hug::hug::hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am thinking of you as well. Hugs.

 

[sun seeker]

Just read what is happening. I so hope you are getting the help you need and deserve. I am with you in spirit.
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

 

[sun seeker]

I don't know when you'll read this, just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and missing you.

 

[Eleanor]

Hi Hope, I hope you are getting rest and feeling more at peace. Check in when you get a chance.

 

[shimmerz]

YEAH!!!!! Hope!!!!!!! YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I have missed you SO MUCH! :hug::hug::hug:

 

[shimmerz]

Forgive the boring hug emoticons. I am out of practice since you have been gone :oops::sick:

 

[Hope4Now]

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: @shimmerz, I thought of you a lot over the last 6 days.

 

[shimmerz]

You okay hon? :hug::hug: I have MISSED you so much! :banghead::banghead::banghead:

 

[Hope4Now]

So how's this for a welcome home from the psych hospital? (Among lots of good stuff...dog kisses in spades, children hugs, etc.). I shouldn't be here. Find myself actually and bizarrely wishing for the ersatz safety of the hospital. But I am here. And I love my kids. And I'm fighting the good fight to stay centered and do the right thing.

After I washed dishes and my son went upstairs to do his thing, my daughter wanted to talk with me. Her 2nd best friend came to her to say that she was considering killing herself and was cutting. Ahem. Wow. Okay. Big, deep breath. I know the kid and the parents, and this is no huge surprise.

I did it. I played Mommy well. With my daughter's permission, I am emailing the school psychologist tonight. Told my daughter I would go with her to talk to the woman because she was unwilling to do it on her own.

Sigh. :banghead::banghead::banghead::depressed::dead:. Nothing is ever easy, is it?

 

[Hope4Now]

I am hanging on. Used the metaphor of "finding my way in the dark" and "stuck in the middle of the river...can't go forward, can't go back" to describe things to my therapist today. Spent most of the day in bed sleeping and meditating. It actually felt pretty good until I couldn't drown out the expectations of my family any more. I am working very hard to stay here and not run away somewhere because I don't think being by myself is a good option right now either. So I'm stuck between total overload but being around people, or running away and being alone. Neither works and I cannot seem to find an in-between place. I kind of think I am in this moment of crisis where my inside selves and outside selves are duking it out for control...this has been going on for weeks and weeks and I am very tired. I don't think anyone really understands what it feels like, and I wish someone did. I think maybe my therapist has a clue. He is a perfect gift of a person in my life. Is my lifeline right now. I hate seeing my family all worried about me...it makes everything worse. BLAH! Okay here's a string of emoticons to let it all hang out:
:confused::eek::coldfeet::troll::dead::depressed::cry::banghead::bag::arghh;:arghh;:arghh;:nailbiting::mask::ninja::ninja::ninja::hungover::wtf::wtf::blackeye::wideeyed::blackeye::bawling::cry::cry::cry::grumpy::dead:

 

[shimmerz]

If I may add..... :mad: for you.....

And then, of course, :hug:'s. Standing with you Hope.