Structural Dissociation?

[shimmerz]

one part is continuously apologising to the other part.

And is the part who is being apologized to accepting the apologies? Or saying that there is no apology necessary. Just wondering if the communication is only from the one part and not the other?

 

[Skywatcher]

@shimmerz for example, tonight we had friends over and the other adults went to a table and I stayed in the hot tub playing with their 10 year old. All of a sudden I realized that my younger part that had a bad trauma around that age was the one trying to make a new friend, because she was left behind as I grew up into current me and she really wanted this friend and then I felt over whelmed with emotion about what happened to my younger self and some intrusive thoughts kicked in. So it’s like she is there but I’m still there and sometimes she is stronger depending on what is going on or who we are around. I’m still adult me, though. In therapy the parts seem to have more power, especially during emdr work.

 

[ms spock]

And is the part who is being apologized to accepting the apologies? Or saying that there is no apology necessary. Just wondering if the communication is only from the one part and not the other?

No communication just a disconnect, though the disconnect is getting a little bit less. I block everything from outside and from inside most of the time.

 

[shimmerz]

No communication just a disconnect, though the disconnect is getting a little bit less.

I know for myself that I had to learn a whole new way of communicating. I had to 'meet the part where it was at' because the ones putting me most at risk were non verbal. So I had to look at what my body was displaying as a form of communication.

When I saw that a part was distressed (let's say my right foot was turned in, which was a sign of my 3 year olds pain), I would acknowledge that and remove 'myself' from the situation before the 3 year old flipped out. If the 3 year old didn't or couldn't talk to me I would visualize holding her; hugging her; caring deeply for her pain.

From my experience that's what these parts are. A manifestation of a pain that they could not bear and thus are continually attempting to avoid in any way possible. Address their pain and there will be less and less resistance.

This document may be helpful if you are stuck in communicating.

https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/050e/8b492bfa7e44921550f2b66cf6097d6e1e03.pdf

 

[shimmerz]

So it’s like she is there but I’m still there and sometimes she is stronger depending on what is going on or who we are around.

So I think the idea there is to switch it around and ask your younger part to join you in the hot tub with the 10 year old. Ideally that is the way to get parts into a position where they are willing to share space with you rather than try to push you aside.

I get the whole concept of one part feeling stronger than another. Honest to god I had no freaking idea who the hell I was for a very long time.

In researching and having thought about this curse, I recognized that I could use this part thing to my advantage. Turn the pathology into a strength. Create a part that I wanted to walk forward in life for me. Take the best of my other parts and start building a future with this new part.

I was however, not going to be successfully able to walk into the future as a whole human being without addressing these parts painful experiences. And that meant that I had to feel compassion for them. And I had to mean it.

Just a question.... I tried very hard not to be around kids when I recognized I was splitting off. Sometimes that wasn't always possible because my child part was younger than the part that realized I was split off.

Out of curiosity - was the part strong enough that it had taken complete control over you physically? Could you have walked away from the 10 year old if you had chosen to or had your younger part taken complete control of you physically?

 

[Rani G2]

was however, not going to be successfully able to walk into the future as a whole human being without addressing these parts painful experiences. And that meant that I had to feel compassion for them. And I had to mean it.

Struggling with this lately, to feel compassionate, listen to their experiences. So far, have realized that there is the ANP, fragile EP‘s and controlling EP‘s. It’s very hard though to get into communication, I seem to selfsabotage which again happens with parts.

 

[Rani G2]

This document may be helpful if you are stuck in communicating.

I am reading...

 

[Skywatcher]

@shimmerz it really wasn’t an internal battle at all. She came forward and I let her play with the ten year old. My child parts have always been obedient to adults with the exception to the initial experience with my 3 year old. I think I developed some compassion for the child part last night because she really never got to move on and she just wanted to experience a friend her own age. I guess this is why my therapist says we can help her. That we have more resources now. In emdr we bring in a lot of help for her. It just all made me so sad last night. My teen aged parts are the ones that I have the most problems with. They hate my T, try to sabatoge things. Do not trust her at all. The little ones want to live with her and love her hugs which we all used to be terrified about. Disclaimer.... on the outside looking in, I view this as me, one adult. Processing a multitude of traumas. I’m embarrassed how real this all feels sometimes. I fully know that I feel like a broken up puzzle on the inside that just needs to be figured out and glued back together. Does it feel this way for all of you?

 

[shimmerz]

Processing a multitude of traumas. I’m embarrassed how real this all feels sometimes.

I think you might be surprised Skywatcher at how many people have parts.

I would be interested in knowing about the EP's you mention. I didn't realize there were groupings of them. Is this like IFS then where different DID personalities have roles to be played?

Also, has anyone explicitly asked their T about ANP's? Is that still the differentiation between DID and SD? Just one ANP?

Pursha, would love to know how you feel about the document.

 

[ms spock]

I know for myself that I had to learn a whole new way of communicating. I had to 'meet the part where it was at' because the ones putting me most at risk were non verbal. So I had to look at what my body was displaying as a form of communication.

This is really interesting. I thought some of this was reactive attachment disorder and it might be something else. Ty

 

[ms spock]

This could be pretty important for me.

 

[InsertCoinsHere]

Also, has anyone explicitly asked their T about ANP's? Is that still the differentiation between DID and SD? Just one ANP?

DID = 2 Distinct ANP plus 1 EP (usually though there are far more - average is around 12ish ANP and many fragmented EPs)

SD = 1 ANP 1 EP (usually though many more EPs)

The structural walls in DID are more pronounced and dissociated than SD hence the amnesia and cross information sharing/lack of communication.