Struggling with my dad.

[Workingonit]

My childhood was rough. Drug addicted mom, alcoholic dad who would beat me when he got too sloshed. Abused by the child support system when my mom was MIA running drugs for the cartels with her boyfriend.

Long story short hes been on an extended bender and its giving me constant anxiety attacks because he becomes overbearing and won't respect boundaries no matter what I do. He tells me to leave him alone and then the adrenaline spikes come.. Then he passes out and the depression and ruminating starts. I just need to hold on... not hurt him just a little while longer until I can get away. I cut everyone off years ago so I have no where to go and no matter what I do he won't stop.

Its going to be OK, if I can just control myself a little while longer.

 

[littleoc]

I'm not sure of everything going on, but I do want to ask if there's any way you can get away sooner, or, are you planning something and it needs to be on a certain day?

I'm so sorry you're going through this right now.

 

[Sideways]

Its going to be OK, if I can just control myself a little while longer.

Anything that helps you empty out the stress cup goes straight to the front of the queue.

I hope you can find some helpful local support services.

 

[Workingonit]

No, there is no where to go and its to cold to be homeless. He is drinking alot. I don't have alot of cloths so I basically have to do laundry everyday if I am to shower like I'm supposed to. He is constantly messing with my clothes, making sure I put it on the setting he wants me to. Constantly checking them. Taking them out early, changing the settings. If I go out in the living room he starts telling me what to do. If I cook he tells me what I can cook, how I should cook it. I had a garden last spring I had to stop because he wanted to take charge of it so I started waiting till he went on his daily beer and whiskey run to weed at which point he told me he didn't think he was going to bother with a garden next year.

Lots of little stupid things that should be no big deal but I'm seriously not handling it well and it doesn't matter what I do he won't stop. If I try to talk to him he tells me to leave him alone which I don't handle well.

About a week ago I took my laundry out put it in my room and *immediately* came back to clean the trap and he was already in there in a drunken stooper checking it. I told him I would be gone as soon as I could but I'm probably never going to talk to him ever again. Now he wants to be nice but he's still doing little nitpick things and I just don't want any of it.

Maybe I'm crazy but even my brother thinks he is doing it on purpose to f*ck with me.

I just need to survive.

 

[Workingonit]

Anything that helps you empty out the stress cup goes straight to the front of the queue.

I hope you can find some helpful local support services.

I'm just waiting on the VA people to get off holiday leave.

 

[Friday]

I'm just waiting on the VA people to get off holiday leave.

If you’re in the US, check out Vet Centers, too.

Vet Centers are unaffiliated with the VA (1 way info flow, VetCenters can demand for info from the VA, but the VA cannot even ask for anything from them).

They were created to cut through all the BS & red tape to get counselling and resources to combat vets & MST survivors. Different vet centers have different resources (all have counseling, some have temp housing/laundry/transpo/classes/etc.), and they’re nearly all staffed by vets who have gone on to get their masters & doctorates in Psych & Soc.

VA.gov | Veterans Affairs

Apply for and manage the VA benefits and services you’ve earned as a Veteran, Servicemember, or family member—like health care, disability, education, and more.

www.vetcenter.va.gov