Struggling

[Squaddiedave]

Don't worry about offending jimmy, not at all

Would ring to meet for a beer but a) dont have your number b) started already c) not nice to be around at the moment d) am a miserable bastard with no friends and not worth being around.

The beast is welcome

 

[Anglesachse]

a) dont have your number b) started already c) not nice to be around at the moment d) am a miserable bastard with no friends and not worth being around.

a) ill pm you

b)i am allways playing catch up

c)me neither

d)see above

 

[shogun]

Dave, your night sounds all too familiar. It really does take work on yourself to move past these nights. And its more than knuckling up and going out and faking having fun. It's tough but doable. I never imagined I could go out to the bars downtown with my ex, her friends, and actually enjoy myself. It's way better than sitting home alone with the dog. Don't give up.

 

[Squaddiedave]

Gonna do a rare post for me,,,,all of you hold onto your seats lol!
For the first time in a LONG time I've been on top of my game, work is manic, and I'm thriving off it, the NCO of old has been back, mentoring, decision making, advising and even bollocking. Being involved in making brigade policy, a pain in the arse, yet I'm almost getting a twitch from it. ( and yes ALMOST lol).
Yes the self doubt is there, yes I'm smoking too much, and struggling to eat properly, but it's improving.
The knock on effect at home? I'm a lot close to being "Dave," .......I think. Making my wife and kids laugh, diving in and helping as much as I can. Dunno past couple of days just feelin good.
Back of my mind though, is if I crash, WHEN I crash, it's gonna be harder. Got 2 weeks before I see the shrink again (even they need leave I suppose ;) )
Just want to say thanks to everyone for their support so far, up I guys have really helped, and also apologies for any rants over the next couple weeks.

 

[Anglesachse]

Becoming a workaholic and burying your self in work is normal. Keeps the mind busy and stops the beast showing his head.

Just watch out for the Exhaustion, and the crash dive cocker. It will come, and it will kick your arse. Which in turn ruins the family life.

And your famila ain`t going to understand it when you turn. When it happens try and keep away from them as far as possible and let the misses make decisions, And FFS hold tight.

If you are doing good at the mo. talk to the misses, and try and warn her what is coming. She can cop a lot of the family stress, letting you get your head back together.

I know. easier said than done.

 

[Jimmy1]

Dave, your story sounds so familiar.

When I returned from Iraq, I threw myself into work too and my family didn't understand. I crashed alright and lost the lot.

Think about what your saying.....

WHEN I crash, it's gonna be harder. Got 2 weeks before I see the shrink again (even they need leave I suppose ;) )

Your preparing yourself for a crash. It doesn't have to be that way.

The other thing mate is that the family is going to have to get used to the new Dave. As Angle said, while you are in a good mood and able to talk to the misses, talk to her. Explain that you have been totally rewired and are not the same and will never be the same.

Your still Squaddy Dave, but slightly altered.

Just my two cents.

 

[Squaddiedave]

Once again, wise words from wise people. Just don't want to lose this feeling. It's not that I'm preparing a crash, it's just I've been near this level since being back and have crashed badly. Once bitten twice shy etc, I int want it to be like that, just don't know if I can stop it
Just can't understand why I'm thriving from pressure and circumstances I've been hiding from from for months. Almost feel like I did in ghan, apprehensive, little scared but in control.
More frightened that it's gonna slip, and won't be able to stop it. Next few months at work are gonna be manic, am on 24 hours to move for the shite in uk ( thanks G4S ) gonna effectively be running a troop of 30 odd guys. As an NCO I have always been about the guys. Scares the shit out of me, but there's a spark in me saying shut up and do it. Dne it before, you can do it again.
It's probably wrong, but I've made a deal with Mrs SD, I don't want to talk about it at all for a week, unless I really need to. I'm on a high, and want to carry that through. Haven't cried for just under a week, want that to carry on.
Valued 2 cents and 2 pence from guys, that I respect. Cheers fellas

 

[tho9900]

Dave oddly enough I have become fond of you, but no I will not make out with you sorry...

Jimmy said it.. don't predestine your slipping back down the rabbit hole because it will happen faster that way... enjoy what you have today and screw tomorrow... let the missus know today is today but tomorrow you may go sliding back down again... you owe it to her for that...

Here I am wanting to talk like an Aussie and such again,,, m8 this bloke that.. lol

I am happy for you... last night was an awesome night for me... don't know if you saw my post in whatever thread... I met a true innocent last night... talked for like 2 hrs... omg how I wish I could go back to worrying if my dog peed on the carpet or not (Nala has only done it once thank goodness lol and it was her meds) Or worrying that my singing in the shower might upset the old crazy guy upstairs (it didn't and omg she has a beautiful voice, she played a recording of it for me)

Dave enjoy each day for what it is... ya I kinda foreshadow things now and then but I am slowly learning each day is a new adventure.... a new rebirth... and I refuse to say cocker no matter how much yall pressure me to...

But enjoy what you have now cocker... tomorrow is a new day... it may be good, it may be bad... but you got us azzholes to regulate your butt back into line.. I am happy you had a good day... I'll leave it at that...

 

[tho9900]

and give the missus a kiss pls.... she will appreciate it...

 

[JennyMac]

.. and I refuse to say cocker no matter how much yall pressure me to...

lol tho, you crack me up :)

 

[tho9900]

lol tho, you crack me up :)

lol ty cocker m8.... I swear these Aussies will be the death of me! ;)

 

[Squaddiedave]

Tho, your a good bloke (and I'm not Aussie!).
Found a lot of respect for people on her that I'll never meet, which is kinda hard really. I don't feel alone here, and the straight talking advice is what I need, hate the pc don't want to offend you stuff. Especially from people that haven't/aren't in the same kinda place.
So an update. Work is manic, home is manic, but home is a nice manic. Work is shite lol. 24 hours notice to move for the next 3 weeks minimum, kinda f*cks up leave plans for us (and the 500 quid bonus has been refused, arseholes).
We are kid free tonight, eldest is away sailing till tomorrow, youngest on a sleep over. Me and the mrs are heading out with some of her work collegues for a meal and drinks, I want to look forward to it, but finding it hated, and mrs sd understands that I think.
Dunno, kinda level but not. Trying to take all you good people's advice and not over think a slip trip or fall, but it's always at the back. Just don't want to f*ck this up tonight for haze. Her job and work mates are important to her, as they should be. (me a squaddie, sat with a load of teachers, could be a disaster even if I was right. "get your tits out" and "NAKED BAR!" wouldn't go down well!)
So open mind, try and relax and get it done. Which is easier knowing I have you guys here.
I gave her a kiss mate, and your right she did enjoy it lol!
Oh, and cocker is nothing compared to walking in a pub n certain parts of uk and hearing "Ey up cock!!!"