Struggling

[Deleted member 30036]

I always thought that when my abuser died I'd have some kind of peace.. which i did.. for a short time.. my nightmares have since just increased to levels i cant handle.. im constantly ruining on empty my dreams have been plagued with horrible images i cant remember when i wake im down to getting maybe an hour of restful sleep ever 2 or so days its maddening and i have no idea how to stop them :/

 

[Muttly]

I'm sorry it's gotten so bad. It sounds like now that your abuser is dead your brain thinks it's safe to process all of the lousy stuff that's happened. Do you remember any parts of the dreams?

 

[MrMoonlight]

Well shoot man, I'm sorry you are going through this. Please be careful, with that little sleep it's super easy to hurt yourself. I remember an improper psych med change that prevented me from sleeping for 5 days. I was hallucinating and tripping over my own feet. Really dangerous.

My arsonist (don't know what to call him) passed some time ago from natural causes. When he went to prison I found short term relief as I did when he passed. Both events dug up a lot of raw feeling for me.

Maybe you could get a paper journal and just write..write down everything in a free form way until what was in your head is on paper. Maybe this could help, it has for me in the past.

Sending healing vibes...and big hugs. You deserve to be happy and free of this.

 

[Deleted member 44517]

Writing does help @ThatRandom91. It helps your brain to let things go because they've been recorded.

I say this as someone who despises writing and won't do this herself.

 

[Esterio]

hey Random91
Not sure how we can get peace from our abusers.I was dancing in the street when one of the worst people I have ever known burned up in his house. I would have thought that would be enough to know he can never get to me again. Sadly it was not I feel bad for my reaction to his death not that he is dead but at the way I acted. Quality sleep is something I struggle with also It seems to go in cycles when I can't hardly sleep to times when if I sit down I fall a sleep. I don't have any answers for you just want to let you know you are not alone with these issues. I have tried many things. You know what I use mostly and that seems to work some of the time. sleep timer gave me 36 minutes night before last and 7 hours last night. I am all over the place right now.
Peace be safe

 

[Deleted member 30036]

Thank you all :) ill try all of your suggestions

 

[The Albatross]

Change where you choose to end the thought. For example instead of "I always thought that when my abuser died I'd have some kind of peace.. which i did.. for a short time.." how about removing "for a short time"... which would squarely anchor yourself in the acknowledgment instead of the rumination about how it wasn't what you thought it would be (permanent or a longer feeling of relief). "when my abuser died I had some kind of peace".

And then choose the "cue to use your management techniques if/when "my nightmares have since just increased to levels i cant handle" crops up. Feelings are indicators not dictators.

How can or does that change your perception? Thoughts? Feelings?