It’s almost funny how screwed up this is so far... and maybe that’s just it. My doc and therapist probably know how this local hospital is so screwed up.
Doc saw me. I listed symptoms. Verbally and in writing. Specifically and extensively. Except I didn’t tell them I’m suicidal. I can’t do it. I’m spooked and nervous. But I listed everything else including depression and crying and “very dark unsafe thoughts” and etc.
They asked how they could help. I said, “treat my symptoms?”
The doc replied, “yeah, but how. What would you like us to do for you?”
I really didn’t understand this. I again said, “please help stablize my symptoms. For example I’d like to stop puking and shaking. And I’d like to sleep.”
They again asked how they could help.
Cue my snark. I suggested physical health and mental health evals, perhaps a psych eval or contacting the mental health team. How many times can I list symptoms and get a stupid response?
The doc walked out stating they’ll call the mental health team. I puked in the sink. This is not going well. I have no courage to tell them how bad things are for me. They have not yet even asked what meds I am on. I am writing them a list anyhow of what I’ve taken this week.
They are incompetent. Their incompetence is spooking me. I don’t want anyone touching me here. The more incompetent they are, the more I’m shutting down, and the more I seem totally fine, and the more they act like it is weird I’m asking for help. This isn’t working.
Now they are stating they won’t be doing a medical assessment. Fine whatever. Why did I come?
