Study Time Panic Attacks

[CBatheart]

I have PTSD from earthquakes. So for some reason NCEA (the New Zealand schooling system) thought it wold be a great idea to make earthquakes part of school curriculum. I have had to study earthquakes in science and geography and now have I exams.

I was studying for my geography exam last night where I have to use 2 of the 3 earthquakes I was in as case studies and write an essay on them. I had gone over a week without a single panic attack and now because of last night my day count is back to 0. I feel like writing it down on paper is just another reminder of what happened and that putting it permanently on paper will make it happen again and again...Its not like i'm going to forget about it in the first place. I have to study or I will fail but as soon as I start studying the knot in my stomach arrives and gets tighter and tighter until I break and start panicking.

I really just don't know how to get around this obstacle and still study. I will be honest and say yes I have been avoiding it and if I was happy to fail I would not do it. I don't want to let this win me over but it's really hard not to.

 

[macca]

Oh wow that's hard. Is the school aware of your condition? If you have a therapist that could contact the school confirming your diagnosis and it's cause - maybe that could help - you might then be given special conditions such as the ability to take breaks? I am having trouble making a suggestion that's useful. The only thing I can think of (and it might not work) is to try and turn it all into a cartoon in your head while you're writing? I sometimes try and do that with TV shows if I must pretend I'm ok when there's a trigger, but it doesn't always work. Can you afford to fail this exam and still pass the subject? That might be a last resort. Either that, or talking to the teacher to see if there is any other way you can pass without using this content. Or, if writing is worse than talking, maybe they would let you give a speech just to the teacher?

Sorry if these suggestions suck, and I hope you can find a way. Best of luck!

 

[CBatheart]

My geography teacher knows and has been amazingly supportive this year as has my science teacher. I can afford to fail the exam I have passed the year already. I want to be able to say i tried because that's important but if all turns to custard I can leave the exam as can anyone else once they're finished. just don't know how to approach the study. As soon as look at the papers I panic. to be honest I don't even want to study it because it is affecting me so much to the point where I am not eating much and getting very little sleep.

 

[macca]

Glad to hear you can pass without it. Remember if you end up leaving without finishing, that it's not from a lack of strength. PTSD is an injury of sorts, not a weakness. Your brain is determined that you will survive. Be kind to yourself if you don't feel able to study, anyone would struggle in trying to study the source of their PTSD. Hang in there, school year nearly over :)