Stuff Coming Up When You Try To Concentrate

[Dana1010]

I will be sitting in relative peace thinking about nothing in particular, maybe thinking about my condition, how therapy is going, whether I feel like I'm healing or not. The more I pay attention to myself, my own mind and body, the clearer and more at rest I feel. I can almost start to feel present and not gurgling down an invisible drain into the past as I usually do.

Then I will decide to do something, like read a challenging article or take a free online course - something sort of intellectual that requires concentration. As I get into it, suddenly a picture pops up, something from years ago, and then a feeling to go with it. I turn my attention back to the task. Another unpleasant memory comes up, I think, ugh, where did that come from? Then I read a word, and I remember the time someone used that word in a conversation - another flashback. It seems like the more I try to concentrate on what's in front of me, the more my mind is flooded with stuff - bad memories, images, feelings, fears. It's like sewage backing up.

Why does my mind fight incoming information? Why does concentrating on something objective seem to trigger me? I'm so frustrated that I can't use the free time I have (no social life) to learn something or do something productive. Is anyone else assaulted by memories and "stuff" when you try to concentrate? Do you know of anything that helps?

 

[Underdog]

I think I get what you are saying, but we each face things a tad differently although the overall themes are the same. My own experience is that I become mentally foggy and the harder I try to work through it, the worse it gets. If I'm being triggered, it's hopeless!

Wondering if it's because your brain is being overstimulated? It's not to say you can't do it, just sometimes for me focusing on one particular task can just overstimulate my brain and it starts firing off at the smallest of details. I find I need constant breaks and changes to keep present. If stress is involved for any reason, it's far worse.

Not sure if that helps or even speaks to you at all, though...

 

[Dana1010]

I should mention that these are tasks I was fully able to do and actually enjoyed before PTSD .

 

[Underdog]

Yup, I am the exact same. I loved a good challenge and learning, but today I just can't. It's not so much that the challenge or learning process are the triggers, it's the overstimulation in my brain. I haven't subconsciously calmed down enough to handle those processes yet. It just causes more stress due to the fight/flight mechanism being constantly on and I become overwhelmed by it all. Even just watering plants sometimes overwhelmes me and that's an easy task, lol... I love cooking, my dogs, my garden and orchids among other things. After PTSD, I still love them but they are a daily challenge. I sometimes can connect and enjoy the experiences, but often I just can't despite my deep longing to.

 

[Go Hungry]

Hmm.. Well I know that when I'm going through one of my bad phases (which is most of the time, lately) I can't concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes. (Other than these forum posts, :hilarious:) I seriously get to a point where nothing holds my attention without bad things swimming up from the past. My T suggested word puzzles and crosswords to help improve my memory and concentration recently. I was doing one and found that I could concentrate on that. I don't know if it'll help much, but you might give it a go.

 

[Underdog]

Forgot about suggestions!!! My apologies!

For me at least, I just am having to learn to love and know myself. When enough is enough, I walk away and am learning to accept that it's just where I am right now. Doesn't mean it will be where I am in a few days/months, etc... It's just where I am at the moment that is important, then respecting that and responding accordingly to honor myself.

 

[ms spock]

Why does my mind fight incoming information?

I have this problem too.

 

[Bookoffee]

Dana1010 said:
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Why does my mind fight incoming information?

I have this problem too.

I have the same problem. it takes a lot of energy to listen and understand

I don't mean how it sounds, but it is just hard to process