Substance Abuse

[macbeth]

I really don't like to admit that I have used alcohol and other drugs to cope with my anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia and flash backs. My symptoms were so severe that I could not leave my house because I was having flash backs in public from triggers such as car horns and ringtones. That's when the dr started medicating me and that helped but I have started to drink more than usual lately too and I really don't want to go back to that because it does me more harm than good. I was wondering if others have had issues with substance abuse and how you dealt with it.

 

[yoshixvx]

Addiction is a lifelong illness. Get yourself to AA/NA and find someone who will encourage you to cope in healthier ways (and hold you accountable for them). Start treating yourself better (sleep, food, exercise) - you are entitled to and deserve better treatment. Find a therapist or outpatient addictions group to deal with the core issues and reasons why you drink. Write 3 things down every day that you are thankful for. Take it day by day, because there is no cure, but you have a reasonably easy fight if you address it before it costs you an entire lifetime.

 

[macbeth]

Thanks for your advice yoshixvx. Have already sought advice for this issue and have an appointment tomorrow morning. I wanted to bring up the topic because I know there is a high number of people with PTSD who have or do abuse substances for whatever reasons and wanted those people to know that they are not alone.

 

[fly away home]

Yes I have had drug addiction issues in the past.

Never did aa or na but just reached a personal point in my life where I could no longer continue. That did involve moving to a new town though. I don't think I would have been able to distance myself from drugs without the distance.

Now I feel no desire to take drugs and I have always found I can only manage a small amount of alcohol so that's not an issue for me. I have a social drink but that's all.

A good topic to raise because my addiction was well before diagnosis. It now makes sense to me why I went down that path.

 

[rainy_daze]

All I can think is that with my own issues, there were life events [or moods/frames of mind/ways of thinking] that would trigger relapses. Different things made me turn to alcohol, other things made me turn to cannabis, other things led me to enjoying stronger painkillers a bit too much*. [As fly away home pointed out too, there can be environmental factors which add to the pressure. Once I stopped spending so much time with the drunken friends, I was able to drink a lot less. I'm lucky I didn't have to move, but the option is always there is a change of place is a way forward.]

I don't recommend abusing using numbing substances to cope, but when I look back I think that they helped at the time. If I wasn't self-medicating, I'm not sure what other routes I would have went down. [In saying that, abusing all these things led me into some quite dangerous situations.]

I really don't like to admit that I have used alcohol and other drugs to cope

I really get this macbeth. Thank you for being brave enough to share, and starting this thread. It is appreciated.

I would say try not to feel shame (if I'm picking up the right feeling from you). Sometimes our coping mechanisms need altered. Personally, I've felt ashamed for using drugs, as if somehow it made me weak, or I worried people would judge me, possibly write me off. I think attitudes like that are wrong, so maybe that is something to think about, if it's an issue for you. If it isn't, that's good. It isn't a sign of weakness, I think it's a sign of not coping well. You'll learn other ways of coping macbeth.

Let us all know how you get on at the appointment, and well done for seeking out advice about it :tup:. [There is a wiki page about alcohol abuse I think, although it might be aimed more at veterans, I cannot remember. If I think of any helpful links for you, I'll put them in the thread sometime.]


(*For example, injuring my back set off a battle with using painkillers. It wasn't as bad as it could have gotten, but that feeling was still there. I only take them very occasionally now - maybe once a month - when the pain is too hard to get through doing something. Grief makes me want cannabis, there's no other way I can put it. I think it's a way to numb the pain, and completely ignore reality. The times I've abused alcohol were times of extremely low self-worth, wanting to "fit in" with my friends at the time - who were all drunks - and sometimes even a bad mood can make me want to go out and get drunk. I would get blackouts when I drank too much, which I think was to do with a medication reaction, it was really scary. I realise that's a lot, but knowing I have things that set off a want to use drugs to cope helps me understand my patterns better. Do you find your symptoms are the key triggers @macbeth ? For example, if you had a flashback, would you feel like self-medicating in some way? Do you notice any patterns?)

 

[Bees Are Awesome]

You are definitely not alone. I started drinking in my early teens but didn't become a daily drinker until after my traumas. It allowed me to forget and helped me avoid dealing with my emotions. I started going to a 12 step group in April 2011 and have been sober since July 2012.

The problem with booze and drugs is, if you use long enough, they stop being helpful and then all you are left with is an addiction and feeling miserable.

Being sober is no cakewalk. Dealing with PTSD and OCD symptoms SUCKS a lot of the time. I'm in therapy twice a week and it is difficult. However the benefits are worth it. My physical health has improved and I am able to be a wife, mother and friend. Not a great one, mind you, but I am trying. ;)

Your self awareness regarding drinking and drugging is great. Kudos to you for getting help. Wishing you the best in your journey.

 

[open eyes]

My personal belief is that there's nothing wrong with safely using drugs & alcohol- up until the point that you start to use them as vices to help cope with emotions.

Once you cross that boundary, like you said- it does more harm than good. I've struggled with substances in the past, & somewhat currently. I guess the biggest thing for me that helps me stay away from them is remembering that it causes more problems than it fixes. Every time I want to drink, I write a big list of what it does to me, to name a few: it wreaks havoc on my medications (namely lithium & lamictal), sobering up makes me incredibly anxious, & I get really depressed/oversensitive afterwards. Everyone reacts differently to alcohol & drugs so my list may not apply to you. Just watch out for leaning on other "self-destructive behaviors" rather than drugs, because that doesn't do any good either.

Transitioning to using healthy ways to deal with things is a really rough process. The sooner you start, the easier it'll be.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

PTSD and addiction I firmly believe do go hand in hand. I have been addicted to streets legals and alcohol for many years. I quite frankly think I have an addictive nature but can thankfully say I have kicked the bottle and the drugs now. I still have my slip-ups like I think we all could from time to time. (Still like a drink - but the street highs are a thing of the past, the OLD me)

Like @fly away home says distancing yourself from the source and like she, I too moved away and distanced myself from the drug scene has really helped me. I now do a small amount of volunteering with ex addicts and homeless and try to help where I can with others to help them break the cycle.

I wish you all the strength in staying away from the Drink and Drugs @macbeth

Laurence

 

[franciemarnie]

I drank in high school and it spiraled so quickly I quit very young. But I never changed how I dealt with life, learned new coping mechanisms, or had the correct diagnosis of PTSD and effective treatment for years so going on the wagon was just torture.

Eventually I picked up a painkiller addiction. I have been clean 13 years. Support groups worked for me. I learned how to survive and thrive without picking up.

If you don't change the way you deal with life, then quitting drinking or drugs is really painful. PTSD symptoms can be debilitating. I don't blame me or anyone for self medicating. It's just that it creates more problems after the initial relief of the drink or drug kicking in.

You are definitely not alone in this!

 

[It's all my fault]

By the number of PTSD sufferers that have posted, you can see so many of us have been there and done that. I got to a point where people told me I couldn't kill myself but the pills were the only thing preventing me from ending it! I just couldn't cope, my situation was beyond my control. It doesnt matter what it is, alcohol, pills, whatever. Its all the same. Stepping back after almost 3 years I now see clearly that the pills were not the answer. For me getting into dual-diagnosis program was. It addressed both my addiction and mental health as they are both intertwined. I went to McLean hospital near Boston MA and that program not only saved my life it saved my children's as I was absolutely ruining it. I'm sure you can fine one near you. Thank god my abuse was only 10 months. It was a hard fight, one I am NOT ashamed of but have come to realize PTSD caused. Call your psychiatrist, find a dual diagnosis program to address the real problem....your mental health. Good luck!

 

[macbeth]

Wow guys you are all so awesomely supportive thank you. I would just like to answer rainy daze question of whether my symptoms are a trigger for me. yes most definitely. My pattern in to drink nothing during the week and have more than my fair share on either a Friday or Saturday night. Oddly enough the weekend is actually a trigger for me (long story) so I start freaking out towards the end of the week. I did karate for 4 years and made sure the classes were on the weekend for this reason but had to give it up (another long story). I know what I m like and therefore wanted to nip this in the bud early before it gets outta hand but that's just me. Again thank you every one for your wonderful encouragement especially the brave kind souls who had shared their stories here too. I am a firm believer in that in order for any of us to heal we need to give each other lots of support and understanding and help each other through this journey. :hug: Ptsd at times can feel that you live in a different world to those around you and just wanted an open discussion on drug and alcohol abuse in a safe and non judgemental environment.