Sufferer Or Shirker?

[Iwantout]

@EveHarrington , thank you.
Others, including @brat17 have obviously miss read the original post!!! No, You have me very wrong there!!! I do believe ME and FMS (as that is what it's called in UK) are very very real...

THERE are people out there who put things on! Simple fact! And that is what I'm concerned about.. Put on an illness, get loads of benefits from welfare, the countries welfare system is now under a state of collapse, the government OPENLY and PUBLICLY blame ALL OF US who are actually ill, disabled etc... There is now a surge of attacks on disabled and mentally ill in the UK because of this!!
Real sufferers are suffering again, being called liars and malingerers etc, going through harsher assessments that many are mentally unable to tolerate so they lose their benefits!! I should know!

The man I spoke of Put on a disability so he could get benefits, he told me what he was doing during the wheelchair incident, how he had to read up on a certain disability to know how to act..
So, SORRY if I believe that with the right info, someone can put on PTSD, resulting in GENUINE SUFFERERS not having the VALIDATION THEY DESERVE!!! So sorry if I believe this man is one of them!!

You have attacked me unnecessarily and repeatedly gone off topic. And please don't quote my own history again, it is not something I share in unsafe places and believe me, this is an unsafe place.
This morning, after reading an email from @joeylittle , I almost reconsidered my position but I now see it's a right choice to make.

I'm right.. One person starts an attack and others follow like a pack of wolves... Shame, as there are some lovely people on here but just one or two spoil the experience!

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Iwantout if you feel that one or two spoil the experience, then you are not understanding that EVERYONE on here has an opinion and you will get different view points. If you can't accept that then you will have a difficult time here, because all of us are entitled to our opinions,

As far as the point of people faking PTSD or not.... Shit happens everywhere and we can bitch about it until we beat it to death, but it won't change the fact that it still will happen. The fact that it happens, yeah it pisses people off to no end, but again.... I'm not sure that bitching about it, is going to help.

 

[Sideways]

Sorry if you've chosen to leave the site, especially since I find this particular topic quite fascinating. But I come at it from a different perspective because I've worked personal injury claims against people claiming fake injuries and disabilities.

Malingering elevates itself to Fraud when you're faking it for a financial gain. You aren't just lying to your GP about nightmares and flashbacks, you're actually committing a pretty serious criminal offence.

When I was dealing with fraud claims, I always thought there was something incredibly sad about it. Faking a disability to take advantage of the system or society or an individual is really messed up, and I've always thought that there must be something pretty disturbed about a person who actually goes through with that.

But on top of that, there's so MUCH lying that they have to do, for so long, to pull it off. They have to lie about what happened, they have to lie about their everyday life, and they have to pretend to have a disability. Often whenever they leave the house. Often even to their loved ones. Their very identity and daily experience becomes centred on this deceit that they created themselves.

Like you said, this guy faked needing a wheelchair in the past. Imagine that for a second. Imagine making your experience of life that hard, and that miserable, for something as superficial as money. You would have to have a very miserable experience of the world for that to actually be worthwhile. And you'd have to have a pretty miserable relationship with yourself to go through that day after day, for years, and still be able to live with yourself.

These days, stories about fraudsters like that provoke pity from me far more than anger. Imagine sitting in front of a doctor and actually having to knowingly BS about all this suffering?

And I am quite sure that it doesn't diminish my empathy for genuine sufferers one little bit, whether it be whiplash or fibromyalgia or ptsd.

Different perspective on it.

 

[Sideways]

Urgh, I irk myself when I babble on like that!

Short version: it's pretty sad if such calculated and comprehensive deception has become a better alternative for this guy than getting a job and living his life. That, to me, is tragic, and doesn't near on the way I perceive genuine sufferers at all.

 

[mamachick]

Very well said Ragdoll, that is pretty much what I was thinking. Not only is it very sad that a person would fake being ill and maintaining this life style for monetary gain, but the monetary gain is often very little. I am honestly not sure of welfare collapsing finances in other countries, but in the US, it is really impossible for someone to live on welfare and not make money somewhere else illegally. I have never been a recipient so no need for others to think I am being defensive, but have worked with many very poor welfare recipients and the system does not allow for things like toilet paper and diapers.

I am sorry to see things come to this point over strong opinions. There are people who would fade a physical disability to hide a mental disability, and I know that for fact and don't need to supply an example, and I think it is no wonder due to the stigma with mental illness. Personally, I do not owe it to anyone to share my symptoms and experience. My neighbors don't know I have ptsd, or the folks in church, or where I volunteer, or many other groups. It is none of their business and how I pay my bills is also none of their business. I do not get disability for ptsd but do not think I am qualified to determine who should and should not.

There are cheats everywhere. I am much more concerned about people who benefit more from selling drugs in the US than getting legitimate jobs, and leaving the vulnerable addicts into a life of disaster and often death from overdose. I get the part about having a passion about the cause and being angry.

I think I got the original post accurate, and admit that there was something about it that pushed my buttons. Maybe it was the feeling of not being believed or validated myself long ago. Having been diagnosed with several things 26 yrs ago (CFID, Fibro, Herniated Discs w stenosis, immune disorder, etc). Too many times I have heard someone compare who has it worse, and so and so should be able to do x y and z, as their illness is not as bad as someone else. Then after a fall in 2006, being told I had no brain bleed after being unconscious and x rays normal. Only to find out 10 days later I had a broken rib and collapsed lung and lung scan showed a blood clot. Only later to learn the long term effects of brain injury, and other problems that come as a result but yrs down the road after the case is settled.To learn that their really is no treatment, regardless of the money. Glad mine was on video so nobody could say I was faking, because opposing attorneys try to discredit. But I went to work 12 hrs later and never missed a day for 2 yrs until I pretty much collapsed and it re-actived the Firbro I had recovered from. Even with this, I would never attempt to say that someone else is not suffering from a TBI. (even if they go back and play football)

Everybody has a story. Everybody has an opinion.

 

[Iwantout]

Well, it seems my OP has been taken of topic, out of context and for some, very personally... I think some parts have not been read properly..

I hope it's okay to post this and it doesn't offend anyone.. I hope you all understand why I writing it.

He is clever in that field, he even faked injury several years before and used a wheelchair until he thought no one was watching...

So, I'm wondering if we're not careful that PTSD might become the new 'fashion', the next 'bad back', the next illness that will soon be mocked and laughed at, which will be a major problem for us real sufferers because too many people are jumping on the bandwagon.. I'm concerned that soon, people, including doctors, will just roll their eyes and think "Oh god, another one..." when those four letters are mentioned.. I don't want to think that shirkers will do the same as they did with back problems and illnesses like ME, FMS etc...

I know that we all react differently to situations and can be damaged or can get through varying amounts of trauma, pain and heartbreak but am I being unfair when I consider that some, like the one I mentioned, are pulling a fast one and probably need help in other areas instead of being treated for PTSD?... It does, after all, stand for Post Traumatic...

Why should we bother or even consider my post?

Why do you think so many ill and disabled are disbelieved and treated like social outcasts and frauds now?

Why do you think I have written this... As an attack on YOU personally? or because I am hacked off at

A) people being wrongly diagnosed too easily when they could have something else... (Lyme disease untreated for 15 years because they thought it was FMS!!!) And
B) people who DO rip off the system, making it harder for us real sufferers to be understood and treated properly...? And
C) Because I was one of those who lost my incapacity benefits during the UK government's clampdown on disability cheats!!! So many truly disabled were effected whereas many bloody good liars still have the full amount! YOU say you were not believed? And you wonder why? Osteo-arthritis in the spine, neck, shoulders, hips... 18 years to be taken seriously... JHMS unDXed for 49 years, Lymes disease-15 years, hypothyroidism-6 years, asthma disbelieved until near fatal attack at 9, pain syncope (Sudden loss of consciousness-blackout due to pain) Sight problems, brain damage from repeated head traumas only just being investigated...

I too have been DXed with PTSD... I thought people on here would have an understanding of that and would know what bullying and accusing others of being bitchy, etc etc would do... There is a difference between debate and bullying or down right blasting a fellow member/sufferer for having very VALID views...

No need to reply, I have asked for my account to be hibernated @joeylittle .. I just wanted to have my say as some of you have...

 

[Abstract]

I understand why you are upset and speaking for myself I find anything related to trauma very intense. I will say though that I think it might be worthwhile looking at your definition of bullying here. You talk about a pack and bullying. I'm surprised by that. Most people who answered were agreeing with at least most of what you were saying. For a couple it possibly hit on their own invalidation wounds. Possibly the other side of the same coin that you have been suffering under. People invalidating your experiences through faking symptoms. Yes, I think you were misunderstood a bit and had a couple of intense responses but I worry that you interpret anyone not fully agreeing with you as either attack, bullying or mob mentality. The mob aspect of this is particularly concerning to me as that's not true. I think others may have been defensive but in truth I think you have been a little too from the start. I hesitated before I wrote this as I think you will see it as another attack when it really isn;t. It just makes me a bit sad to see someone being unable to receive and see the support they are getting and to feel more attacked than they are really being. PTSD makes us live in constant flight and flight and it can be really hard to see past that. Feeling offended and upset by people thinking they have PTSD from minor incidents is a really common concern on here.

Free and open discussions and opinions about things tends to give us the chance to see other perspectives and it doesn't have to take anything away from what we think or who we are. I wish you well and hope you receive this in the way this was intended.

 

[joeylittle]

Well said, @Abstract

I think, OP, you perhaps don't make the connection here: It's not uncommon for people with PTSD to be misdiagnosed for years, and be told that they are faking.

A few members responded to that.

So, both things are true. Yes, it is a really bad thing for PTSD all the way around when the PTSD diagnosis gets mis-used and abused by people who do not actually have PTSD. And, yes - it's really terrible to not be believed, and to be misdiagnosed, and to live for years without anyone believing you when you tell them what you suffer from.

Other posters are saying - be aware, because it's just as easy to do the same thing to someone else. That's all.

There is a difference between debate and bullying or down right blasting a fellow member/sufferer for having very VALID views...

Yes, there is - and the one poster who was briefly 'blasting' was thread-banned. Otherwise, people are bringing up interesting points, responding with their own views, agreeing with you on some things, asking questions about others...it's what happens on an internet forum.

We've corresponded quite a bit, and I hope that you can consider what I'm saying. I agree with you, that taking a break from the site is a good thing for where you are at right now.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

My own father thought that he could fake PTSD which really REALLY upset me. It threw me for a loop. He refused to even touch the PTSD sourcebook I have thats not just for sufferers but its for supporters and to assist on how to better support a sufferer. I created threads here and just spun.

If you want me to give you URL of the orginal thread, let me know. The replies might help how you see this issue.

Eventually, over time, I came to realize that it is tragic that people want to do this, It really is horrible BUT it doesnt have to affect me at all. I have PTSD from real trauma and his faking it doesnt have to affect me.

Im speaking of my dad because of the guy you are refering to.

I dont think its going to be a "fad". It does seem to be a "go to" sometimes but I honestly dont think it will be like a "fad".

I wish more realize that you dont have to be in combat to get PTSD and that child abuse is talked about more. PTSD and childhood trauma. To me it seems to not be spoken about enough. Not for childhood trauma anyway.

But anyway, sorry to ramble. Im just trying to say i know how you feel, Ive been there, but it doesnt have to affect you and I dont think it will be a "go to" for everything (like the guy that trips and came back up with PTSD). It does annoy me when that happens but i dont think society will see it that way. You know?

I hope some of this helps and I appologize if Im off topic.

 

[mamachick]

One really overused diagnosis has been Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder , at least in the US. College kids are diagnosed and getting stimulant for treatment, to loose weight and party. Some parents (not good parents) are getting their young kids diagnosed and then selling their medication rather than treating the kids. Therapists need to beware and be sure the kids are actually taking the meds-they can do that when they meet with the kids by asking good questions without leading them. What a scam.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

One really overused diagnosis has been Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

100% agreed!

I disagree 100% about medicating kids as a knee jerk thing.

 

[EveHarrington]

Well maybe it's not worth much, but I hope you stay. :hug: