Poll Sufferer or Survivor?

[tardis]

This poll is quite similar to another poll: [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread5997.html[/DLMURL]. I call myself a sufferer of PTSD, but a survivor of the bullying I endured. I do not consider myself a victim nor a failure.

 

[Nicolette]

Thanks Tardis. I have informed Anthony about the similarity to see if he wants to merge the polls.

 

[TLight]

Funny, I don't ever think of myself as a victim.........but other cruel people have called me one. Honestly, I hate them. Strong word, I know.........but the way they use it, it's lie a derogatory term. Very hurtful. They have no idea what I've survived.

 

[empowered]

I am an overcomer as I have overcome alot of the effects of the traumas I lived through.

 

[Mercy]

Both survivor and sufferer fit me. I did survive torture, the many times my mother tried to kill me, the many times when other child prostitutes died and I didn't.

Today, I still suffer so many symptoms of PTSD. Hypervigilance, panic attacks, depression, disassociation, pervasive hopelessness, flashbacks...

Finally, I can feel a little pissed, the first tiny bit of anger, that so much of my life has been stolen. Fall leaves remind me all the time of the atrocities that happened in the fall. Many people can see them and see their beauty. I feel robbed.

 

[Cindy]

Survivor - I'm still here

I consider myself a survivor because:

I am still looking outward for maintaining a life

I am willing to try new things

I do things in spite of my past (it will not stop me from doing enjoyable activities)

I am here


Sometimes when I am experiencing symptoms and feel like an empty shell I do suffer. But being a sufferer to me means totally engrossed in the symptoms and focused on their effect - looking inwards all the time. When I am suffering there is part of me still looking out.

Cindy

 

[jeapea]

I try not to put a label on myself. I agree with not using 'survivor' after being 'labelled' with that from past sexual abuse by my T. It sounds like the alter ego of 'victim' when applied to who I am, meaning I became a 'what' and I'm no longer a 'who'.
I think many terms may fit to some degree, I prefer to think of myself as just me and maybe today I'm in 'suvival mode' . Or experiencing 'ptsd symptoms'. But none of those terms defines 'me'.
I'm still just me, and I've been somewhere I didn't really need to go. And I don't think I'm 'over it' yet. I'm still growing. Putting a name to it makes it seem set in concrete as if I'll never be anything more than what it made me or what it gave me to deal with for as long as it takes me to process or digest or work my way through it. Terms like those put limits on what I might be capable of acheiving.
What I am not, any more, is innocent. Or naive about certain things. I cannot see the world as I might have liked to. I am awake. I am aware. I am in awe of the people who aren't or haven't been through anything as though they live their lives in a protective bubble. I know things they don't.
I am different. Now, how do I fit in with the rest of the world?

 

[OhSoLittleMouse]

I don't like either terms.

If I am to refer to it my word is HAVE or MY

I "have" PTSD from the event.

"My" PTSD is acute right now.

 

[Tinyflame]

Now I would use none of those terms.

 

[Leda]

I prefer to use the word survivor. Not because I´m not struggeling and suffering, but because I´m still here to do that. I survived the abuse - and now I´m surviving the hard work that has to be done in therapy.

 

[2notbedefeated]

I am struggling trying to decide myself what is a in tune with my experience. I think I am both a sufferer and a survivor. In order to be a survivor I have to have suffered or endure something tragic. I also struggle with physical chronic pain, but I identify myself as one who suffers and yet I am survior at the same time because each time a come to the end of my day I kno

 

[A-RON]

I don't like the word sufferer because it just sounds pitiful to me. I relate to the word survivor because I have contemplated quite a bit about the concept of survival, but I don't consider myself a survivor because I don't think I have the coping tools yet to live a sustainable life. I don't think I'm surviving, but instead just withering away to nothing. I also don't consider myself capable of committing suicide. With that said, I can't believe how stupid and complacent people can be sometimes. It's no wonder so many people attempt suicide and fail. What else will it take for people to listen? And why do people so ignorantly challenge "sufferers" to commit suicide by not giving them the time of day. What will it take for non-affected people to acknowledge a problem and to take action. This is the reason I've broken away from my family... If they love me, they should take action. If they just feel like they love me, it only serves them. Instead, I tell them all of this, and they say I'm putting conditions on the relationship. They say love is unconditional, and therefore, I'm wrong. F*%# T H E M ! ! ! ! ! I've pretty much pushed away from all my brothers and sisters, and they can't figure out why. And then they get offended when I call them stupid.

But I do know in my heart that I eventually need to mend those relationships. Their intentions are good, and I guess I can't blame them for lacking so much understanding. I just know that they will never know me as well as I'd like, and I have to accept that. It's difficult, and I can't deal with them right now.