General Suffering Alone

[MariJane]

My husbands PTSD and depression is deeply affecting me. I’m lonely, anxious and depressed. But I don’t think I can share this with him, without pushing him further into his darkness. How the hell do I handle this.

 

[MariJane]

I definitely have burnout fatigue. His physical and mental health problems are consuming me

 

[Lost in the Woods]

My heart goes out to you. I am a sufferer and I am just beginning to understand what my wife has endured. I was never violent and most of my rage was turned inward. Sometimes I think she has PTSD from living with me.

 

[Friday]

My husbands PTSD and depression is deeply affecting me. I’m lonely, anxious and depressed. But I don’t think I can share this with him, without pushing him further into his darkness. How the hell do I handle this.

Outside support.

Like here. And in real life.

Because you’re probably right, that the pressure of what you’re dealing with would just make things worse for both of you. Because you KNOW him, he’s yours, and you can see the line… from experience. Where helping someone he loves helps him, or breaks him. Which, in turn, would only make things even harder for you. And on & on those domino’s keep falling. All event horizon..

So what do YOU need or want?

Do that.

For the sake of yourself, & the sake of your marriage.

Find your strength. Your joy.

Your marriage may or may not be salvageable, but you absolutely are. And your marriage is only salvageable if you’re a viable part of it, instead of a broken part of it. You want to save your marriage? First, save yourself. Use the oxygen mask on yourself first, before saving others, you have to be saved, yourself.

 

[deno]

I really feel for you. Loving someone with PTSD and depression can be so isolating, especially when you feel like you have to hold everything in to protect them. But you matter too. Your well-being isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

I’ve been in a place where someone else’s struggles consumed me, and burnout is real. Finding a space to unload, even just a little, made a huge difference. Whether it’s a therapist, a friend, or even just taking small breaks for yourself, you need support too.

 

[Cheri]

As a supporter, I needed therapy for myself. I’m actually still amazed at how much therapy helped me. I also at a certain point had to prioritize self care activities for myself. I find I’m able to be a much better supporter now but it took a while to find the right balance.

 

[MariJane]

My heart goes out to you. I am a sufferer and I am just beginning to understand what my wife has endured. I was never violent and most of my rage was turned inward. Sometimes I think she has PTSD from living with me.

There was a lot of alcohol abuse and verbal abuse for many years. I’d say 100% those times gave me ptsd. Nobody is perfect, and at least you now realize it. Good luck to you.

 

[Friday]

My husbands PTSD and depression is deeply affecting me. I’m lonely, anxious and depressed. But I don’t think I can share this with him, without pushing him further into his darkness. How the hell do I handle this.

No f*ckin lie, amirite?!?

Although, there is the rare time & place that’s absolutely perfect… most of the time, it’s simply not.

It’s like having girlfriends, for girls nights out, times a billion. When your PERSON is hurting so much you’re breaking? Find outside sources of strength… for you. In your head or in real life. Ideally? Both.

That’s ALSO fertile ground for affairs, and other life changing, oomph. So DO be careful where you place your relief valves. Professionals tend to be better than friends, if you wish to protect your relationship.