I appreciate your comments, but maybe I was not clear. Let's try to explain it better by giving some breakfast.
I am a fitness professional. Not someone who eats sugar by habit or who needs help eating healthy. I have taught food culture syllabi to college students, too, and I have never eaten at a fast food or at a chain restaurant in my life. I do not eat out, at all, unless I am going fine dining - which obviously isn't very often because that's $300+ a pop. I do not need to satisfy a sugar craving. I am having an abnormal response to sugar that only seems to be associated with trauma, and that it is causing me physical pain, and trust me, I have been eating fruit to "satisfy the craving" and it has absolutely nothing to do with that.
I am asking for help figuring out the connection between a sudden, abnormal shift in feeding habits and trauma. Not for diet advice.
I do not eat candy bars. I actually don't even eat candy, to be honest, because I don't like it. 95% of what I eat on a daily basis is made from scratch and comes without a label, i.e. it's produce, with very minimal amounts of eggs, occasionally fish, very rarely meat (poultry only if I know the person who raised the bird, and if I have seen the space where the bird was raised). The most "processed" things you will find in my kitchen are flour, milk, extra virgin olive oil, sugar, yogurt, maybe pasta, because I buy ingredients, not foods, and I love cooking, and baking. Yes, I consider plain yogurt a processed food. I also consider whole grass fed milk a processed food.
No, I do not eat cereal, unless by unsweetened cereal we mean rice grains, then I will eat that as steamed rice or risotto every now and again. I don't even eat smoothies because I like my fruits as nature intended - whole, raw, and fresh. I don't sweeten any of my foods, but I am an amateur baker and I am studying ice-cream making, and so, yes, there is sugar in the house, but it's not like I am making sweets every week, either, especially since my accident. I eat quite carefully, and I don't mean it in a "foods good for you" internet article kind of scenario. My life partner, whose terrible death is the reason why I am here on this website, was a chef. I have some sense of food and their properties.
As a matter of fact, I had to learn a lot about nutrition because medical staff mislabelled me as "having an eating disorder" (when I was going in complaining because I was losing a lot of weight and had insomnia) and they let my hyperthyroidism go untreated for so long they almost killed me, and then they completely messed up my recovery plan and added a whole other set of problems. And yes, I never fully recovered, mentally or physically, from that episode (even if that's not why I am on this forum).
So nutrition is not the problem here, which is why I am asking for help. For a clean, high-standards eater to suddenly crave just sugar like I do is a massive red flag. Maybe it's a form of self destruction or self harm, or maybe it's something else. I don't know. But no one is helping me figure this out.
I am asking for help understanding why this is happening and how I can stop it. Not for a lecture on how too much sugar is bad, or on how to curb sugar cravings. That's not the problem. The problem is in some thought process that prompts the behaviour, and that I cannot disentangle so as to make the behaviour stop.
My blood sugar levels were tested many many times, by the way. Including doing curves with glucose challenge and all. Before and after the trauma. My functioning is perfectly fine, no trace at all of any abnormalities (yet) in my blood sugar metabolism. I think it is a mental health problem, not a diet or a physiological one.
Hope this clarifies the situation. Sorry I did not give enough information at first.
