Suicidal Ideation

[mamachick]

First my insurance took my therapist away. Says she is not covered and after they paid her all year, they took all payments back. I appealed but the lost paperwork. I appealed again. So no therapy for past 6 weeks. But when I went to fill anti depressant, the took that away too. The cost is $225 a month. I get $800 month disability. So now I am off that too. My daughters electric is shut off, which means she will loose her housing, if she looses housing, she will loose her daughter, who I had custody of because she was homeless before. I can't do it anymore. I have lots of sleeping and pain pill. So I have been doubling up on melatonin, benedryl, and other pills and asleep for 2 days. (not suicide, just to sleep til next pay day when there is meds and food) Just up now and took some more pills to sleep. In November I can get anti depressants if I don't eat. FFFFF the insurance companies.

Our insurance is dictated by the hospital administrator. I wish the school shooters would take out the whole damn hospital, particlualry the naize. They are the thieves and crooks that ruin normal peoples lives. I know there is more than I am saying, by husband has been abused by them for 33 yrs and has ruined our marriage. I can't even stand to see the news of this school stuff.

I'm not suicidal, just don't care if I wake up ever-to this world of dog eat dog. Get up to get kicked back down. F that. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. If I don't, I pray to have enough stuff to keep me asleep til my next Nov 3

 

[Mercy]

Oh,Brat.How dare anyone treat you so cruelly ! I am outraged!

That is very close to criminal behavior. Does your insurance have an appeals process? Can another social service agency help. This is so mean!!

I can certainly understand why you are so angry. I really dislike the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness that this situation crushes you with.

About your hospital administrator, can your Therapist go talk to her. Maybe there is something your T can do for you about her decision?.

 

[mamachick]

I dont know. I am not done with this. Sometimes I just have to take a couple of days off from the BS because I am too angry. I probably would not have had ptsd and all this complication if they would have approved treatment following a head trauma. They withhold services and drag things out until you get worse. All they want to do is pass out pain pills and other addictive drugs and then blame the patient. Its not the doctors fault, I have a wonderful doctor. It is the insurance administrators. Then they report that pills are the biggest drug abused today and more deaths caused by prescribed meds than car accidents. What ignorance the media feeds the public.

 

[daisy911]

I have attempted suicide twice. Once when I was 5 I ate some rat poison out of the garage. Went to bed. I remember being surprised the next morning that I was alive. Still didn't want to go to school. Scared to death.