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Suicidal With A Child

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I'm being told I'm a disgrace for hitting rock bottom and felt there was no other answer than to take my life. My parents are disgusted in me and can't look me in the eye.
They avoid being near me.
I'm ok longer part of the family they keep contact to keep my children in their life's.
I do have children but at the time I truly felt they deserved a better life and I was about to loose everything after my incident
I wasn't in a place to know what I was doing I still think of doing it often but look at my children and can't leave them.
To stop the hurt and pain seems like something that's never going to happen so sleep that doesn't wake up is an attractive option

My parents don't believe in PTSD trying to prove I have it for 7 mths has made me hit that bottom step again . I'm triggered by conflict and that's all my family give me x
 
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