Suicide Facination

[Digz]

Hi all. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, DID for about 6 years now. I have all the suicidal thoughts but (I think) I'm kind of finally past the want to act on those thoughts.
However, a couple of days ago in the small community I live in a young girl committed suicide by hanging herself. So sad. I think I'm a bit of a freak, but I find myself completely fascinated. For as long as I can remember, I imagine slitting my wrists regularly, the image just lets me breathe. I'd never thought about what hanging myself would feel like... but now I do.

 

[Neverthesame]

Welcome. Do you see a psychologist or therapist? Have you discussed your fascination with them?

 

[Digz]

I do see one. Have been in therapy for about 6 years-ish. I have talked about it.. not for a long time though. Probably worth a re-visit!

 

[rightkindofme]

I'm pretty obsessed with suicidal images. I visualize how to do it a lot. (Yes, I talk to my shrink about it.)

For me, it's a control thing. When I feel really out of control and in pain... I think about the only way I can completely control the pain--dying. Everything else I can't control how it works out. I can (probably) make sure I end up in no pain because of death. Everything else is chancier. Everything else requires more trust than I have some days.

But I'm still here. I view my ideation as less problematic than the stress I feel when I try to suppress the thoughts. But everyone is different.

 

[Neverthesame]

May I ask a question @Digz? What did you mean by having a fascination about suicide by hanging? Are you referring to obsessive thoughts about that particular method? Or did you mean more of a morbid curiosity?