Sunshine effecting dissociation?

[Ladygdala]

Hello! Now that the weather is getting nicer my frustrating is growing. I am unable to really love those beautiful warm sunny days. I’m sure this is probably a more medical thing than cptsd thing. But I thought id see if anyone here has experienced this.
When the sun is out, getting warmer, and also having to wear less clothes makes me feel uncomfortable, I get really bad tunnel vision and depersonalization. My brain feels warm as well. Even a floaty sensation like I’m being lifted out of myself and my hands are rubber like. This makes no sense that it could be related to cptsd (except for the heightening of the cptsd symptoms I experience) but I figured I’d see if anyone out there could shine some light (no pun intended) on the issue, maybe have a different suggestion for me to look into.
Thanks in advanced.

 

[somerandomguy]

Maybe something happened to you during summer?

If early July is hot I start feeling very stressed because I was committed during a very hot early July. Even the place and pattern of the sun's light makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

[Gs172003]

Certain lighting drives me nuts.

 

[Sweetleaf]

There was studio style lighting in the room most of my abuse took place in. It was always shining in my face, and it was really bright. Any lighting that reminds me of it can mess with me.

Was sunlight/warm days tied to your trauma? Or bright light?

 

[Juso]

If the sunlight is a trigger for you because it reminds you of your trauma then I find it only logical that you dissociate more during the summer. For me sunlight is not a trigger, but I do think there is an effect of sunshine on dissociation either way, because when the sky has the color of a very bright blue and the sun dazzles me I feel quite depersonalized, disconnected from my body and like I am in a dream. I don't know why that is though. Maybe because I constantly have to squint and this takes away details in my field of vision, the link to the real world feels less present? In dreams I don't see many details too, I only focus on the whole. But I really don't know, it's just a guess.

 

[Victory]

If it's the bright light that is bothering you, I've just read a book on adrenal fatigue by Kathryn Simpson that says bright light annoyance comes from our pupils not being able to contract or stay contracted because our adrenal glands are so tired from pumping cortisol and adrenaline because of our stress.
Fact is, in the early 1900s, that's how they tested for tired adrenals. They would have you shine a light on your eye in the dark, while looking in a mirror and see how long and how much your pupils would contract.
I found that fascinating since I've already had to wear sunglasses indoors. And like everything else I've learned so far, I find it comforting to know why something is happening, even if I can't fix it right away.

 

[Ladygdala]

I will reply to all.
Thank you all for commenting!! I guess one of my abusivr situations happened in summer. But it was at night. I do remember walking home the next morning confused and it was hot out. But I’m not sure if it’s linked at all. I would wear sweaters a lot during summer because I didn’t want to expose my bare skin. (I covered up a lot due to being so self conscious and nervous exposing my body and therefore be overheated a lot of the time)
I did do ecstasy during the day more than a handful of times when I younger and into drugs.
I also got tested quite a bit ago (apparently) for my cortisol levels and various other tests and the doctors could not find anything wrong with me. I was almost for sure that’s what it was this whole time but it came back fine. I am doubting my trust in doctors and their ‘tests’ these days. Would my cortisol levels still be out if I am dissociated and detached? I know they probably were out when I went through my panic attacks about 10 years ago. I’m almost ready to book a brain scan of some sort. See if they can see if anything’s abnormal.. and yes I agree, I find comfort in knowing what’s going on too.

 

[Ladygdala]

Certain lighting drives me nuts.

Do you know if your dislike for certain lights is connected to dissociation at all?

If it's the bright light that is bothering you, I've just read a book on adrenal fatigue by Kathryn Sim...

My bad! I did not click on reply in order to send back. To you. I wrote something above this in my response to yours.