Supporter disappears

[Pidupu]

IMO sounds like he’s the one who’s symptomatic w/o having ptsd (based on the information you shared). Also sounds like he has an enmeshed father who enables whatever he needs and wants. This is the first time I’ve heard of such behavior of a, “supporter”. I would suggest that you ask him to speak with someone about his mental health because things sounds so irrational coming from him.

 

[Fukogen]

He had an appt with a psychiatrist yesterday but last I knew he wasn't going. He also took himself off of all his medication in the last few weeks. He acts like I'm the problem all the time...

 

[Nazuz]

He had an appt with a psychiatrist yesterday but last I knew he wasn't going. He also took himself off of all his medi...

What was he taking medication for? If I may ask.

 

[Fukogen]

He was on an anti depressant, ADD medicine, blood pressure medicine, and a headache medicine and Ambian which he wont go off of. He told me he didn't want to be medicated like he was and that he felt better off of them and more "clear headed"..

 

[Nazuz]

He was on an anti depressant, ADD medicine, blood pressure medicine, and a headache medicine and Ambian which he wont...

Well, sounds like he may be dealing with some chemical imbalances of his own. I wouldn’t pressure him about too much, but he definitely sounds like he needs therapy and guidance. I would casually suggest that he makes and keeps an appointment with a therapist and maybe suggest going with him if he wants. You just don’t want things to get worse. You’re already in a new environment with a child and you don’t want to have to up-root you and your Child’s life again.

 

[Fukogen]

Thank you. I just dont know if i should stay with him or not. I love him he says he loves me but idk.

 

[Ozabo]

A lot of long distance relationships fail when people actually move in together. That's when reality hits.

 

[Nazuz]

Thank you. I just dont know if i should stay with him or not. I love him he says he loves me but idk.

It’s really hard to tell. If he’s struggling right now, he may not have what it takes to care about the relationship however, there’s the chance of him just being a real jerk. My ex (sufferer of ptsd) has turned out to be a real jerk. I thought for the entire relationship that he meant what he was saying to me, and it turns out that he basically was stringing me along until he found someone else to move on with. He isolated in November and I haven’t spoken with him since. Good luck with your partner; I hope you can resolve the issues at hand.

 

[Fukogen]

Im so sorry that happened to you. Talk about a jack@$$! I hope you find someone who treats you better. No one deserves to be strung along like that.

My supporter is a pretty nice person for the most part. But he lacks personal accountability and just doesnt seem to understand. I wonder too if he's just trying to find someone better but how do you really know, ig.

 

[Izap]

I can't handle the uncertainty. I can't be expected to be kept in the background not knowing how to plan my next steps while he's all comfy being lazy at his dads while I'm taking care of my kid by myself, taking care of the apt and not having a friend in this entire world to lean on. I'm really angry. Im hurt.

I think there is your answer. He disappeared and you don’t like it. You’re not married and you don’t have a child together. Yes, he may very well be a first class ass but I don’t know that. All I know is what you wrote that I quoted. At the end of the day, you are responsible for you and your child. If he doesn’t want to as evidenced by him walking out, then I’d say his actions speak louder than his words. He can take care of himself. Take care of you and your child. I’m sorry you’re hurting.

 

[Epufe]

I think there is your answer. He disappeared and you don’t like it. You’re not married and you don’t have a child t...

This is essentially what I was going to say too. Life is full of uncertainty, even when mental health issues aren't a problem. You and your child are your responsibility whether he's in the picture or not, so that's your next step. Get a life of your own regardless of whether he comes back or not. I'm sorry you're hurt and angry, but either way you have to figure it out for your child. Make other friends, that's probably a healthy thing to do regardless.

Are you getting any help for yourself? Are you in therapy? From what you've posted here it sounds like you are "intense" and have a lot of anger issues as well. You mentioned that he needs to take responsibility for his actions, have you really been willing to reflect on your responsibility? He might very well be afraid of you and your intensity if he's normally a "laid back" person.

Is financial responsibility and help all you're wanting him to move back for? Because I didn't read one nice thing you had to say about him. If he has issues with confrontation, then maybe you need some couples counseling to learn how to communicate with each other in a healthier manor. It seems the communication between the two of you may be somewhat toxic.

Did he not tell you about the graduation to try to avoid another confrontation? Was that the only day available to go Christmas shopping, or were you just angry because he didn't do what you expected him to do. Did you tell him this was the day you planned for the two of you to shop? Is there a reason you couldn't go shopping for your daughter alone? I'm not asking you these questions because I need to know, I'm asking them so you can reflect a little for yourself.

He may be putting off coming back because it seems even that conversation is what you expect and may be confrontational to him. If I moved out to avoid fighting, the way to help me decide to come back would not be through fighting....that's just logical.

 

[Muver]

How long were you in a relationship together before you moved to be with him?