T wants me to take down my google review of her

[Deleted member 38906]

@manna what are the red flags with my new T? I don't recall saying anything bad about him.

well everyone can relax, the review is down. i understand that it was wrong to lie. i did it so she wouldn't know it was me, but that didn't work and it's not a good excuse.

I feel like i need to talk about all this with my new T, but i'm scared he's going to judge me for it and not want to work with me anymore. he might feel scared that id do the same to him. Is there any benefit in letting him know about this?

 

[DharmaGirl]

T's don't judge. They listen, if it is a good one. I would bring it up and say you want to work through it. I think it would get a lot off your chest, and you don't need to carry around guilt about it.

 

[Deleted member 38906]

does anyone else see red flags with my new T? im feeling extremely paranoid now and feel like i should therapy altogether.

i also feel very hypervigilent, almost like i had 10 cups of coffee almost manic like with obsessive thinking. I think I get like this when i feel overwhelmed or stressed out.

 

[DharmaGirl]

No, no red flags. Just don't listen if it doesn't resonate with you.

 

[mylunareclipse]

I think this thread just got a little bit out of hand and it's definitely not the place to diagnose people or point fingers.
@Moo , just put things into perspective. You have not done anything terrible. Maybe by some people's standard what you have done is "wrong", but you're still ok, you're still a good person, you still carry with you all the right things you have done.
As I said earlier try to be gentle with yourself. And focus on your present relationship with your T and hopefully it will all work out. Sending you hugs. Try to do something nice for yourself and distract yourself a bit.

 

[Deleted member 38906]

I think this thread just got a little bit out of hand and it's definitely not the place to diagno...

thanks. do you think i should tell my T about this. I don't want to ruin what i have with him.

 

[mylunareclipse]

@Moo You know what's best for you. Trust yourself. Maybe now it's a good time. Maybe future might be a good time to talk about this. Maybe it will never come up again. Either way it's ok. And either way I think it will be ok with your therapist as well!

 

[mumstheword]

If your T is a good, it's in your best interests to be honest about what's bothering you, and by the sounds of it, this whole experience has been somewhat traumatizing for you, so, if I were you, I would talk to your new T about it. Emphasize the effect it has had on you, because he will be able to support you to see things in a better, kinder, more objective light.

Any T that makes you feel worse about this experience isn't worth your time and money, so if your afraid that your new T is going to judge you for this, it's better you know now, rather than later, and get out before you get in deeper with this T.

Either way, IMO, honesty is the best policy, and I would be telling the new T, if it was me.

 

[Neverthesame]

@Moo I think you should tell him.
This whole thing started because of a lack of communication between the first therapist and yourself. If you want to be able to have a productive therapist-client relationship, good communication needs to be a priority. Since the trepidation you have expressed here about trusting the new therapist is directly related to this incident, this might be a place to start with building that relationship.

Also. If for some weird reason he responds poorly to hearing about this. I think it's better to find out early, rather than later. Makes starting over with a new therapist less disruptive, when there isn't much to disrupt. Hopefully this one's a tad more professional than the last one.

 

[Sideways]

This has caused you some pretty massive feelings of both anger and guilt, simultaneously, which have stayed at distressing levels for several days. If you can talk to your T about it, hopefully he will have some strategies to help you reduce that type of distress in the future...?

 

[Supervixn]

Yes definitely talk to your new T about it just for your own peace. We don't always do things we are proud of and that's part of being human. It'll blow over. Next thing you know it'll be 5 years later and you barely care anymore, lol seriously.

 

[Deleted member 38906]

Yeah I agree with you all.. I really need to talk to my T. I don't know what's going on with me but I keep oscillating between feeling intense guilt and shame all the way to seething anger...i was feeling guilty a couple hours ago but now the anger is back. I feel like replying to her email saying: Hi T, sorry about the review but I don't know what you are talking about. I did not ask my friend to write a review about you online. However, I do think it's best we wish whoever wrote the review well.
Soooo hard to control my feelings.. What's going on. Im confused.