Taking A Break

[Tinyflame]

((((((Dear Lady Vet))))), (((All))), too.

 

[Abstract]

Hi Phoenix,

I started off at the beginning of the thread considering if it might be about distancing yourself from therapy but as I read I changed my mind. It sounds to me as if you feel invalidated and misunderstood and that your T is unable to understand these feelings or how to get around them in T with you. Personally I would probably also feel invalidated with a similar reply if I was in your situation.

I do think that when we are trapped in a unhelpful dynamic and are unable to resolve it (and have tried hard repeatedly) then it is better to step away for a short while to get a different perspective.

Your T may well be able to hear what you are saying and why you feel as you do and then I am sure you can patch things up. Have you really spelt it out to her or do you think you have fallen into blaming yourself for how you feel?

I am very, very sorry for all you have to deal with and have dealt with and that the threat of problems continues. :(

Oh, PS. I have just been blathering on about "radical acceptance" and what comes to mind is that her thoughts are not really helpful for acceptance at all. Acceptance needs us to accept reality. Obviously I was not there and could not hear all the nuances but there you go. ;)

 

[sweetgirl1975]

Enjoy your break if that is what you feel you need. Last thing you want to do while "taking a break" is being hard on yourself. Self compassion is such an important thing! Wish you the best!! :tup:

 

[blue-Ocean]

Yes I did take a break and decided it was not for me really, if you feel dread going to therapy then its a sign things are going too fast for you and too fast means a delay in recovery,

I'm taking a month off. I made an appointment just so I know I will go back.

Has anyone else done this? Taking a break from it?

Some parts of me feels like I'm just running away from facing that frustration and another part of me is just so needing a break from it.

Yes I did take a break from it as I felt it was not for me really, as feeling dread means things are moving too fast and too fast can delay healing rather than help with it. So feeling this way your body is letting you know that its too fast so take that warning and take the break from it, you will notice how much difference it makes to you as it will be less stress so help you in making that important move towards recovering. You're not running away from the problem as you can't do that it is always there, you're simply slowing things down so are listening to your body. This is the correct thing to do never rush, slow means getting better this method worked for me.

 

[Lady Vet]

I can work on life being meaningful with the circumstances that I have, rather than trying to overcome them or overcome my feelings about them.

Hashi...this is so powerful, this statement...and I think it's the key to chronic anything, even PTSD. I, myself, have found healing only once I accept that I may not be able to change the thing itself, but I have every right to have feelings about it. Finding/creating a meaningful life in spite of "crappy" circumstances reinforces the thruth that joy and beauty are not contingent upon a life free of suffering. In fact, perhaps we humans are able to appreciate the joy and beauty especially because we have suffered. Not meaning that suffering is required to find joy and beauty, just that perhaps we have a different kind of appreciation of it because we do/have suffered :)

Love what you have to say :)

 

[DharmaGirl]

After I went on about how I wasn't taking a break, I am taking a break from therapy altogether. I have another therapist in mind when I'm ready to go back, but I also see the value of living my life in the present. Which translates into I had a difficult time with my therapist. Whatever the reason. I will give it a rest for a couple of months.

 

[Abstract]

Hi Monster,
Good luck. Just be careful. I did this and a year later I am still not back in T and struggling to. I am sure you are different but there you go.

 

[Britt.f7]

but I also see the value of living my life in the present

I had a therapist that was focused on the present. She felt that there was nothing we could do about the past, but we could work on the present and how I react to that. I actually liked that idea. It was nice to just focus on dealing with the now. Unfortunately I moved and never found another like her.

I did this and a year later I am still not back in T and struggling to

I could so see doing this myself. I'm having a break, not by choice, because my therapist is taking time off. Don't know why. The clinic has offered setting myself up with someone else, but I've put off calling them back in regards to this. I know I still need help, but, getting pass the idea of reaching out is definitely a struggle.

 

[Hashi]

Phoenix, just wanted to say I hope you're doing OK.

This topic seems to have struck a chord with several of us. Yet another tough thing about therapy.

Sending good wishes to you and everyone.

 

[piratelady]

Admittedly, I haven't read all of the replies - my focus is a little lacking, so I apologize if this has already been said, but...

I'm looking for a way to learn to accept my health circumstances that will follow me for the rest of my life. And... she can't give that to me.

My therapist said something to me this week, that I think speaks to this. He said that his job is to listen to me and gently nudge me in the direction to get me where I need to be.

No, your therapist cannot give you acceptance of your health problems. But they can talk to you about it, get you to think about things in a different way so that you can accept your situation. That is what the therapist is there for. They talk you through it, help you sort through your thoughts and feelings to get you where you want to be.

Sometimes a break is good. Since I've had more time between appointments it gives me a lot of time to think and try to stand on my own two feet. It also gives me time to evaluate where therapy is going and if it is useful still. I think a break can be good. Just make sure when you go back you communicate with your therapist so that you are getting what you need.

 

[99Phoenix99]

So after about a month I went back to therapy today.

It was hard. I found myself realtively closed off to my therapist. It was... very uncomfortable. Granted I'm always uncomfortable talking about my feelings, but before my break I at least felt more relaxed, more safe, while I was with her. But today? Today just showed me that maybe I shouldn't have taken that break.

And I haven't been using this site like I should have in the past month either.

I had a total and complete shut down in any and all types of therapy and I have to admit I can see the differences. I've been rocking back and forth between numbness and anger all month. When before even though I was frustrated I was at least a little more even tempered. I'm finding myself distrustful again, and less likely to share how I feel to others. Even on this site.

The only thing that salvaged the appointment was that next week I have my first family session and we were talking about what I wanted to address to my parents. Talking about that took my mind off of whether I want to keep her as a T or not. Bigger fish ot fry if you will.

Lesson learned.

Taking a break was detrimental.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'm glad you went back. I ended up not taking a break at all and working through some stuff with my therapist. I am glad I did.