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- #13
CraftyCath
VIP Member
Thank you, thank you Pamcoco and Jaret!!
Your words are such a comfort. I think we are picked on because we are sensitive people but also our sensitivity and perception increases through what we go through.
Me too Pamcoco so don't worry.
My Mum loved us although she never said it (my parents are both dead now) but she never showed her concern in a positive way (a hug etc.) she just rebuked. If we were all fighting she would slap us all so the guilty party got it but so did the innocent. I grew up in fear.
I had a great relationship with my Dad and a better one with my Mum later in her life, when I learned to stand up to her. She wasn't abusive as such, just disinterested. I don't remember her ever passing a positive comment my way though.
I remember my son being determined that he was going to get the iron that I had left cooling well out of his reach. He used a chair to climb up and grab it and burned his hand. I immediately consoled him, treated his burn and when he was calm I told him that is why I had said not to touch the iron. Sometimes lessons are hard but they are made easier by comfort. I never got the comfort or reassurance.
I think this is why my brother and sister are different towards me. When my Mum was dying and i had spent 3 months going back and too to see her in the hospital they had secretly discussed how they would need to watch out for me after Mum had died as I would 'go to pieces.' My sister later told me this and then said that I hadn't gone to pieces at all but she had. I was a different person than they expected. I remind myself all the time that I am not the victim any longer.
I never thought of it as volunteering to be victimised. Oh boy did that hit home! I seldom put myself into a situation that sets me up for abuse but I do feel all the time that I am going to be told off, shouted at. Irrational but it is the truth of how I feel and it is hell to live with.
Me neither but I do slip up occasionally and yes, it is my own fault when I do. Now I am so much stronger and I know that people do not like me for it. I have cut off a few people recently, so called friends who were so controlling. On was like a leach and drained me of all energy, the other blamed me for all the things she knew was bad about herself. I had just had enough of it. I did try to heal those friendships by saying I would still be friends but I wasn't going to take the :poop: any more, but that was just not good enough for them and we all went our separate ways. I am still learning, people don't like my honesty and the fact that I just won't put up with the nonsense but that is their problem now - not mine.
Absolutely they do! It digs at their comfort zone. They try to keep me down but I just want to fly - and I'm going to!
I wonder how I can stop the thoughts that I am going to be told off, shouted at etc.?
Your words are such a comfort. I think we are picked on because we are sensitive people but also our sensitivity and perception increases through what we go through.
Me too Pamcoco so don't worry.
My Mum loved us although she never said it (my parents are both dead now) but she never showed her concern in a positive way (a hug etc.) she just rebuked. If we were all fighting she would slap us all so the guilty party got it but so did the innocent. I grew up in fear.
I had a great relationship with my Dad and a better one with my Mum later in her life, when I learned to stand up to her. She wasn't abusive as such, just disinterested. I don't remember her ever passing a positive comment my way though.
I remember my son being determined that he was going to get the iron that I had left cooling well out of his reach. He used a chair to climb up and grab it and burned his hand. I immediately consoled him, treated his burn and when he was calm I told him that is why I had said not to touch the iron. Sometimes lessons are hard but they are made easier by comfort. I never got the comfort or reassurance.
I think this is why my brother and sister are different towards me. When my Mum was dying and i had spent 3 months going back and too to see her in the hospital they had secretly discussed how they would need to watch out for me after Mum had died as I would 'go to pieces.' My sister later told me this and then said that I hadn't gone to pieces at all but she had. I was a different person than they expected. I remind myself all the time that I am not the victim any longer.
I never thought of it as volunteering to be victimised. Oh boy did that hit home! I seldom put myself into a situation that sets me up for abuse but I do feel all the time that I am going to be told off, shouted at. Irrational but it is the truth of how I feel and it is hell to live with.
Me neither but I do slip up occasionally and yes, it is my own fault when I do. Now I am so much stronger and I know that people do not like me for it. I have cut off a few people recently, so called friends who were so controlling. On was like a leach and drained me of all energy, the other blamed me for all the things she knew was bad about herself. I had just had enough of it. I did try to heal those friendships by saying I would still be friends but I wasn't going to take the :poop: any more, but that was just not good enough for them and we all went our separate ways. I am still learning, people don't like my honesty and the fact that I just won't put up with the nonsense but that is their problem now - not mine.
Absolutely they do! It digs at their comfort zone. They try to keep me down but I just want to fly - and I'm going to!
I wonder how I can stop the thoughts that I am going to be told off, shouted at etc.?
