I do not like labels or believe in collecting diagnoses. I have been a reluctant participant in this process. Acknowledging that the symptoms of PTSD are alive and kicking in my life has been an epiphany. I have struggled through much of my adult life ( I am now 44 years old) with chemical dependency and recently completed 4 months of CD treatment, including a 31 day residential stay to bring my addiction in to "remission." I am working with mental health professionals. I needed treatment to save my life, but now this PTSD recovery, I hope will take me from "surviving" to "thriving"
Childhood abuse and trauma. Strangers and family. Much by my father and stepmother. The most difficult aspect being that my father was a world reknown pediatrician in child abuse and neglect. My stepmother, an expert in child sexual abuse.
The epiphany...I did not see the various symptoms I was dealing with as symptoms, but just idiosynchrosies and just the way I was. There was a small sense of relief with the diagnosis as a sober person was used to described my thoughts, feelings and behaviors (been 10 years since a therapist applied the term PTSD with me - but I somehow shut out that diagnosis then and just medicated it). However, the traditional symtomology didn't seem to fit me and now the totality of how the abuse of a long time ago has affected me almost landed me in the hospital. Can I tell you about shame? It has been the guiding force in my life. Right now I am just beginning to be aware of when I get into this "trauma Loop" and shame and dissociate.
My first priority is sobriety. I cannot do the work using.
Thank you for letting me post and share. Don't know yet how I will use this site, but for now I am glad to here. Glad to be anywhere really.
Peace.
Childhood abuse and trauma. Strangers and family. Much by my father and stepmother. The most difficult aspect being that my father was a world reknown pediatrician in child abuse and neglect. My stepmother, an expert in child sexual abuse.
The epiphany...I did not see the various symptoms I was dealing with as symptoms, but just idiosynchrosies and just the way I was. There was a small sense of relief with the diagnosis as a sober person was used to described my thoughts, feelings and behaviors (been 10 years since a therapist applied the term PTSD with me - but I somehow shut out that diagnosis then and just medicated it). However, the traditional symtomology didn't seem to fit me and now the totality of how the abuse of a long time ago has affected me almost landed me in the hospital. Can I tell you about shame? It has been the guiding force in my life. Right now I am just beginning to be aware of when I get into this "trauma Loop" and shame and dissociate.
My first priority is sobriety. I cannot do the work using.
Thank you for letting me post and share. Don't know yet how I will use this site, but for now I am glad to here. Glad to be anywhere really.
Peace.
